i know sounds weird but let me explain. last night. my best friends and i where watching a movie. (me and her have this weird friendship.we flirt alot and i have told her that i like her. she said she is straight. yet she still flirts.she know that i am bi .) we where sitting there holding hands then she put her head on my chest. and she turn and look at me. i couldn't help it ... i kissed her and then she kissed me back. so we made out and stuff.
then all of a sudden she jump up and saids " i can't do this" and grabs her keys and walks out. i get a message from her today on my facebook from her. basically stating that. "she loves me but she can't let herself love me.... it's wrong and God doesn't like." i want to call her back. but i had no clue what to say.
2006-07-22 07:35:45 · 14 answers · asked by scared2fly 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Ok......let me start off by saying........been there, done that. I was in your friends position. Here's my take on it....and hopefully it will help you decide what to do.
Are you willing to be in a relationship with someone who feels like it's wrong? Are you willing to hide it?
Are you willing to take the blame for her losing her relationship with God? She feels it's wrong and therefore she feels like can't have a relationship with you (like that) and God too.
Here's the outcome of your decisons.....or what could be.
If you contact her, or give her any encouragement at all, you will be together again. (That's what happened to me) Then later on, when things become hum-drum with everyday living, she will dwell on her relationship with God.......in turn, trouble will start to brew, with you not knowing what in the world is going on. Eventually it will come down to deciding again.......with you losing this time in all probability. It doesn't always......but from what I've seen and the experiences that I've had.......it usually does.
You could also wait to hear from her again........and I'd bet big bucks that she will if she hasn't already. When she does.....I guess it all boils down to how strong you are in protecting your heart from heart aches of the future. Kind of trying to decide if you are going to cheat or not......you know you shouldn't, but you want to soooo bad!
Good Luck Sweetie.....
~Pam~
PS.......I would love to hear more. E-mail me if you'd like to talk to me more about it. PKe0@yahoo.com
2006-07-22 09:27:20 · answer #1 · answered by PKe0 2 · 11⤊ 2⤋
If you pursue this it may cause nothing but heartache. Although, you haven't explained if you are in love with her. You say it's a weird friendship so I guess it's complicated and I do feel for you. Your friend is confused to say the least and I think so are you. You acted in a moment of weakness knowing full well on some level that your friend might freak. So, she did and you must take more of the responsibility for it. She obviously has issues with her sexuality whether she's straight or not. She could be bisexual or just feel really close to you, so she kissed you back in a crazy, mixed up moment. Either way, you definitely need to talk about this or your friendship could be over. But just give her a bit of space and time. I think she will seek you out if there is true hope here. You basically have to ask yourself what's more important, your friendship or pursuing a romance with someone who is not comfortable with her sexuality or feelings. I wish you luck!
2006-07-22 15:55:08 · answer #2 · answered by Girasol 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you didn't mention was your age. I am guessing that you are under 24 years old, and that is relevant (I jumped sides at 37). If you are under twenty four, understand that any relationship you or she has, straight or gay, is not likely to last. People change too much up until then. It is better to keep it as friends. I would call and apologize for being to forward, as I think she may deserve that and, if nothing else, you deserve that. It will help to clear the air. This is the age of trial and error, so don't beat yourself up and don't dwell on it. It was not likely to be the one and only for all time. If you and she are over twenty four, however, that is a whole different scenario. She would clearly be at least bi-curious if she is willing to try at that age. I would still call and apologize, but, in that case, I would assume that she is struggling with the issue and give space. If she is truly gay, religion or no, she will not be able to maintain a straight life. I know folks who have been through six spouses because they were in denial about their sexuality. It will come out eventually - it always does, but it moves in its own time. If you, yourself, have troubles with religion remember this: the bible has a great deal more to say (by about 1000 to 1) in favor of slavery than it says against gayness. Until that particular volume of literature changes its attitude on slavery, I can not use it as my moral guidepost. It is just not moral enough for my standards. At which point, I guess, one goes and buys a neighbor, or assumes much of it was written long ago, and should be taken metaphorically today at best. She will have to reach her own conclusions on that because no one is worth converting for a hookup. You need to think about your own feelings about her and whether you would be able to be friends if that is all she wants. If you can't, just be honest and admit it. It hurts more up front but saves a lot of grief down the line. Keep us posted and good luck.
2006-07-22 18:13:54 · answer #3 · answered by Restless in Atlanta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is probably confused about how she really feels about you and doesn't mind flirting its probably her way tring to let you know she likes you and/or she probably scared of what other might think of her if you two actually got together if you really like her and don't want to lose her as a friend tell her you two have to meet somewhere and have a talk about what happen between you two find out how she really feels respect her decisions and give her some time if you two are meant to be you'll end up together but that doesn't mean you have to lose a good friend in the process.
2006-07-22 14:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by Yaz_Daz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that there's noting to fear and forget how people will percieve her,just to follow her heart .You need to reassure her that your there for her and your willing to take your time with her ,that you and her will go through it together nice and slow no pressuse because that's going to push her away but she can't keep playing with your heart because then she will end up losing a friend.
2006-07-22 14:43:05 · answer #5 · answered by JAY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's simple. Respect her choice. She felt very uncomfortable about it, she doesn't feel it's the right thing to do, so if you are any kind of a friend, you will respect that.
The thought of that just makes me struggle in discomfort too. So I can feel for that poor girl.
Be her friend and respect her choices and don't be pushing yourself on her.
2006-07-22 14:38:34 · answer #6 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call her back. Just let it go. Go get yourself some help as soon as possible. No good comes from flirting with disaster. Pick up a bible, pray and then read.
2006-07-22 15:38:11 · answer #7 · answered by willowdove 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok im not bi but im willing to try and help. someone once told me if they love you let them go and they will come back. if they dont come back then it wasnt ment to be. give her space and time. being pushy can only make the situation a lot worse. good luck!
2006-07-22 14:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by celicagirl587 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't push her or contact her. Let her contact you after she thinks things over. It's up to her now.
2006-07-22 15:34:14 · answer #9 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you truly like her then you will let her go and respect her for her wanting to serve god.You shold respect both of them,her and god,and find someone else.
2006-07-22 15:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by goth punk chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋