Well I have been divorced for 2 years now and every girl I date, I always compare to my ex. She was a real education driven smart lady who always wanted to better herself. The girls I have dated seem so content with their job and seem to think short term instead of long term.We got divorced because of all my time away in the military (korea, Saudi Arabia, etc) but I am out of the military now. Has anyone else had this problem to where they lose interest in current relationships because of expectations set forth from past relationships.
2006-07-22 07:34:57 · 11 answers · asked by SAMMIE C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunately, we all do. Being apart glamorizes the relationship. It is hard to fight with a ghost...only the good things get remembered. I assume she has moved on with her life. Perhaps you need to sit down and remember just why you two are no longer. Remember it and take it as a lesson in future relationships. I, for one, was trapped in memories for years...foolish, very foolish. And very detrimental.
2006-07-22 08:40:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your still in love with your ex wife and its hard for you not to do what your doing.
My husband and I have been together for 7 years and for the first 2, he compared me to his ex. It almost drove me crazy. But the good news is...he stopped. And you will stop too. You just need time to get over her. Its not uncomon for people to do this. It sounds like you really loved her. Be patient. I think your still hurt by the divorce but time heals all wounds.
2006-07-22 07:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by Barb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats kinda normal, just try to not be so hard on the new relatioships, give them time to grow on you before you write them off as never good enough. no one will ever compare to your ex wife so dont try to find a replica. just take it easy and go with it. you dont have to lower your expectations by any means, just change them up a little. and yeah ive done this too, and youll never have a good relationship until you stop comparing
2006-07-22 07:50:51 · answer #3 · answered by rednecksurfer_roxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not the best habit to get into, by any means. It will be very hard for you to commit yourself to any new relationships, if you do not let the past ones go. It didn't work for a reason, being away, if it's meant to be, cant' be the only underlying problem.
2006-07-22 09:56:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a bad idea to compare new ladies to your ex. We all learn from previous relationships. Look for someone who has the characteristics you valued in your ex and don't get serious with people who annoy you or remind you of bad characteristics that she had.
2006-07-22 07:48:32 · answer #5 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely. It is normal for us to compare. But try not to be too hard on your g/f's. Everyone is different and it is just not fair for you to compare them to to your ex wife. Everyone has their own strengths and qualities. Until you get past that you will always be living into the past and not looking forward into the future.
2006-07-22 07:43:52 · answer #6 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your not over your ex. You should not compare anyone to her,for the fact is there will be no one else like her. Everone is different in there own ways.
2006-07-22 07:40:34 · answer #7 · answered by teresa l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say call your ex and see if she is still single and interested.
tell her u are out of military now and can't forget about her, tell her you have tried and nothing. maybe she stills loves u, who knows?
2006-07-22 07:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by ani2525 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to remember she is the past, no two people are alike and maybe that is why the new girls dont have long term feelings.
2006-07-22 07:39:33 · answer #9 · answered by Texas_at_its_best 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's normal but hey if you can't get your ex back then move onand find someone else who will accept you for you and you can do teh same!!
2006-07-22 07:39:25 · answer #10 · answered by half insane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋