I am interning in this place that is male dominant(math, physics type of job). I work hard and I believe I deliver good work. This only problem is, people never really take me seriously. Not in a sense of "you are just an intern", but in a sense of "you belong to my bed". (I know this because there are other interns.) I am asian,petite, with size 32c (yes, not 34c, but 32c, which is freaky). and hell, I even get this "golden butt-to-waist" ratio. I tried everything I can think of to divert the attention. I wear big shirt to cover up, talk in a lower voice, never wear makeup(beside putting light-colored lipstick on to cover my full lip),and try to be one of the guys. Nothing seems to work...I am so frustrated. Do I need to wait till I am 80 and ugly and wrinkly to start my career? What else can I do to make people focus at my work?
2006-07-22 07:29:49 · 16 answers · asked by musi 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
It sounds like you are a victim of sexual harassment. Being Asian has little to do with it. (I don't understand the 32c reference. Is that your bust size? Why would you consider that freaky?)
You have two choices: 1.confront the perpetrators of the rude and illegal behavior. Tell them what they said sounds sexist and you are there to work, not appeal to their sexual interests. If they beg off that they didn't mean it, fine as long as it stops! Warn them to watch their mouths around you because you are not above reporting it to human resources if it happens again. This will make you less popular, but the popularity you are experiencing now isn't much fun anyway.
Choice 2: Follow through with your promise from choice one.
Wear whatever is within the dress code of your job. Make yourself pretty for yourself and forget these jerks! Just because a bank advertises its assets, doesn't mean it is right to rob it! You have a right to be who you are, including your choice of garments, and anyone who violates that right is entittled to the reprecussions they bring on themselves by doing that.
If it is the culture of your work environment to treat women this way and human resources doesn't take you seriously, SEEK AN ATTORNEY. Unfortunately we have become a very litigious society, but some times it is necessary to seek remedy in the legal system. What people fail to "get" in words is often very "understood" when the possibility of losing dollars is brought up! Good Luck and stop being a victim! The power to do so is within your reach if you assert it.
2006-07-22 07:49:48 · answer #1 · answered by Chris 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You know...it sounds to me like you are working in the wrong place. Guys that are of a better class with decent morals would not treat you that way.
Don't try to be one of the guys for some guys, it's a huge turn on.
Maybe it's time that you change jobs and look for a better group to work with or WING IT. Be yourself . Ignore the situation
Do you have an HR Department or a boss you can turn to? that may be another solution.
A lot work places don't tolerate such behavior.
Oh Yeah, be careful about describing yourself like this on the internet because it sounds like you are advertising yourself ( I am not being mean or rude) but some people might take it as being that way and I believe that's the last thing that you would want.
2006-07-22 14:36:55 · answer #2 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the similar problem, but you know, i think the best thing is to use it as an advantage than to think of it as an obstacle. 1st, make it clear that their advance will get no where (unobtainable is a turn on for men as well as a challenge, but more importantly, it makes them respect you more as long as you stick to it) or get a boyfriend outside of work that you're really devoted to. This will achieve the same result. 2nd, devote yourself to work only and ask them for help where you need (men can be very helpful to a lady in distress). 3rd, challenge them when they're wrong (this is outside of Asian stereotype).
It may take few weeks, but if you're consistent and let them know that you mean business, then they'll take you seriously and think of you as a co-worker who just happens to be hot.
2006-07-22 14:42:09 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Beauty is a gift from God almighty along with the innumerable other gifts in this life.
Be thankful and enjoy this blessing wisely.
Harassment of every type follows everybody irrespective of age or beauty.
If you really are as clever as you claim, then work out a practical solution to deal with your particular situation
God bless, protect and lead you.
Ahmed
2006-07-22 14:52:43 · answer #4 · answered by ahmed fairplay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not about an 'asian girl' stereotype. The math/physics kind of guys are usually dorks that are inexperienced with women and act like a bunch of drooling, horny, adolescents around ANY attractive women.
Just be yourself. If the dorks cross the line with you, turn them in to Personnel. Sexual harrassment and gender discrimination is illegal. You shouldn't have to 'ugly yourself down' to be in a healthy work environment.
2006-07-23 07:05:07 · answer #5 · answered by angling_cyclist 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just be serious, work hard and continue to advance your skills. People who have that "you belong to my be" attitude lack professionalism and are just plain sad really. It's actually very admirable that you desire to advance yourself strictly based on your work performance rather than trying to use your looks to get you there. There are so many women out there that use their femininity to get what they want. I've included a link below to a page that presents tips to better present yourself professionally.
2006-07-22 14:41:09 · answer #6 · answered by CJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always thought women and men were suppose to be extremly smart. i am a lady who is white and always wished i could be smarter and understand things better. 2 you are bigger then i am i am34 A and a belly that could be a bigger cup size then my boobs. Where do you live? i am in neenah Wisconsin U.S.A. and people get jobs for there smarts here.
2006-07-22 14:37:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
HI,,,, i know what you mean ,, there was an asian girl-lady, out here with all male crew,,,, and the usually panting and stairing... she had a tough time ....
just do the best work you can possibly do,,, and let your work speak for you.....
good luck....
and ps.. what are you doing for dinner?? (lol)......
2006-07-22 14:36:03 · answer #8 · answered by eejonesaux 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So you're hot! Consider yourself blessed, and also consider tele-work. If it's a real problem, talk to your supervisor about sexual harassment on the jobsite...
2006-07-22 15:29:13 · answer #9 · answered by gokart121 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry for you. I don't think there's any asian girl streotype... Maybe it's you afterall...
Repeat this when you are frustrated:" Asian pride. Asian power. "
Ps: I am white...
2006-07-22 14:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋