Get husband more involved?

Question

How do I get my husband more involved in my baby's life? I'm newly pregnant, and everytime I ask my husband about it's life, or names or something, he just agrees with me. I'd like to know his opinions, but it's like he doesn't want me to know. Help?

Answer 1

If you're newly pregnant, he is probably still processing the information, and he is likely to be obsessing about financial responsibilities and lifestyle changes at this early stage. That's perfectly normal and does show his involvement; it's just not in the way you expected. Give him a little more time and a LOT of reassurance that you are confident in him and in his ability to be an awesome dad. He sounds like a typical new daddy in shock!!!

best wishes,
cryllie

Answer 2

He's probably just trying to keep up with the changes in you! I think most men have enough trouble dealing with the physical and emotional changes in the marriage relationship during pregnancy that when women start piling on questions about the baby and it's life it's just too much to think about yet. So it is quite possible that he has no opinions to share yet! I go completely crazy when I'm pregnant. With the first pregnancy I didn't realize how much I was changing and how stressful it was for him until my mother-in-law gently told me (after I had the baby!).

Give him a break and talk to him about what's going on in his life for awhile. After a whole evening talking about non-baby things he might actually feel relaxed enough to day dream about the new little one! It's terribly hard to do I know, I've been pregnant 4 times and everything is about that new little one on the way as soon as I see two stripes on the stick. Depend on your girlfriends who have children to talk "baby" talk with. They are the only ones really interested sadly enough.

I think men prepare for babies in different ways. They work longer hours and try to receive promotions. They play harder in an effort to do all the fun things they wanted to do before they became fathers(OLD). They also seem to spend a lot of time trying to avoid upsetting their wives, my husband does this by just not speaking to me unless absolutely necessary during the entire pregnancy! It's a real yes dear, no dear, If you say so dear type of thing! (Drives me crazy!)

Answer 3

My husband was the same way during hte pregnancy. It just wasn't "real" for him yet ya know? While I could feel my body changing, and adventually feel the baby kick, he couldn't. It got a little more real for him with the ultrasound, and as we started to put the room together.

Just give it time, he'll slowly come around as it gets more real. My husband is 100% involved in my sons life now, and has some very strong opinions! You'll wish he'd of stayed keeping his thoughts to himself! lol

Answer 4

I totally understand where you're coming from. My husband is exactly the same way. It's been so frustrating because I feel like I'm preparing for this baby all by myself. He'll be a great dad, I'm sure...but when it comes to my pregnancy and getting ready for the baby, he couldn't be less interested, it seems.

I think part of it comes from the fact that he's not carrying the baby and feels a bit "out of touch" with the whole thing becuase I'M the one who's going through the pregnancy, not him. I'm constantly trying to bring him into my preggo world, and he keeps resisting. I finally realized that I needed to back off of him. He's full of all kinds of fear and aprehension regarding supporting and raising the baby...probably more than I realize...so I had to force myself to leave him alone.

Maybe you should try to give him a break from the "pregnancy news" and the "name game." I know it's nearly impossible to do this...but it might save your sanity (and his).

Good luck wiwth your pregnancy!!

Answer 5

You must sit him down and talk to him. Make him understand how important this is to you, and to him. If he agrees with your decisions, tell him that's great, but also tell him how you would like to see him involved. He could go to doctor appointments, pre-natal classes, make sure he does some reading. He might just feel lost about the whole thing, and needs to know that's normal for a dad.

Answer 6

This may sound crazy,but the baby may not be real to him yet. You've probably thought about having kids since you were in school and their names.Guys don't think that way. Once he has heard the heartbeat or seen the baby via ultrasound he'll be more willing to give you some feedback.

Answer 7

The whole baby thing can be a bit odd to us guys. His whole life is changing, and he may not want to burden you with all of that. Give him some time....he'll come around.

Answer 8

Maybe the two of you are more alike than you think. Tell him you want to name the child something you think would be horible (mildred, mike, gertrude, tayven, whatever...). Bet he has an opinion then. To really get him going tell him someone you loved (or that you grandma loved) in your family tree had that name, and you really need to bring it back...

Answer 9

erm... can you see your belly bump yet? if you want to get him more involved tell him to feel your belly. somewhere there is a heatbeat and when the baby kicks he should be able to feel that aswell. or if you cant see your bumpb yet have you tried going to the classes? these help you cope together as a couple e.g loving care and partnership. (if that makes sense)

Answer 10

Maybe try making up something really outrageous (i.e., HilllybillySantaHama, Thord, etc. as a name) or a stereotypical name of a nerd and present it to him to see if he really has no opinion.