here is wat happend...... one lied to another about goin to another town with a person of the opposite sex......then they worked it out.........but the relationship was still shakey......then they were mad...... etc but then yester day one found out that the other one was at the beach with the same person of the opposite sex but they werent alone they were with other people and the knew that the other one was at the beach they just didnt know who............. now it could be wat it looks like but it could also be that they are best friends.........
2006-07-22 07:03:49 · 18 answers · asked by saw-duh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if ur gonna tell me that there is nothin that i can do then dont answer
2006-07-22 07:13:35 · update #1
i am not givin up hope
2006-07-22 07:16:32 · update #2
Time to stay out of it and let your parents deal with it themselves.. my oppinion, i would agree with the parent that is upset because of them being at the beach together, They shouldnt be any where around that person if they are really trying to work out their relationship.. if that person showed up your parent should of left.. so that there wouldnt of been a reason for your other parent to get upset.. and could of proven that they could be trusted again.. but unfortunately thats not what happened, so now the only thing u can do is hope for the best but let them handle this themselves..
2006-07-22 07:14:13 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but if your parents are decided to go for a divorce, the best for you is to not put yourself in the middle unless you want to be blamed for life about all the future fights they might have if you succeed in keeping them together.
I know it is painful for the kids, I went through the divorce of my parents when I was 13. Before that I tried to glue them together, and the result was so bad that just to tell you something, I will give you an example: mom and dad holding a chair intending to break each others head and me in between with my arms extended trying my best to stop the violence in the meantime I started learning bad words with the speed of a good rapper.....
It didn't work and the familiar life became a real misery.
Once they finally got divorced, I think that I wanted to celebrate, finally a little bit of peace.....
Take it easy, is your parent's couple.
Good luck and try to not get too much hurted in all the mess
2006-07-22 07:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by Expat Froggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was there deceit involved? That is, did the one who went out of town with someone and go to the beach with that person *tell* your other parent that that was their plan? In other words, you are suggesting that perhaps this other person is your parent's best friend--but if it is a best friend, does your other parent *know* this person?
Best friends are not secrets. Meeting best friends in other towns and at the beach is not something to keep secret. If the parent that is doing this is keeping it secret, chances are high that it is an affair, not a friendship.
But anyway, are your parents talking about a divorce? If so, it is hard to prevent two adults from making a choice like that. The only thing I can think of to suggest to you is that you could ask them to see a competent couples therapist together to work out these problems. Maybe if they got everything on the table and committed to acknowledging what happened and working through it--with the goal in mind of staying together--something could turn around for them. But as for you yourself doing something to keep them together, that sounds mighty hard. I'm not saying it's impossible--I just don't know what you personally could do to keep them from divorcing.
2006-07-22 07:12:05 · answer #3 · answered by Gestalt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to dump on you like this, but if they are getting a divorce there's probably very little you will be able to do. But I think you should make your feelings known to both of them. They may think that you don't know what's going on. At least that will give them both time to give their heads a shake and perhaps relook at the situation carefully.
If they do actually get a divorce from this situation you described, please hang in there. You seem mature enough to realise that none of this is your fault. It isn't, of course. Keep talking with both your parents, keep the door open and be strong. It's not the end of the world. Believe me.
2006-07-22 07:11:50 · answer #4 · answered by Fennylaise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OUCH! This is a touchy subject.
After the first lie it should have never happened again. Maybe your parents arent happy together anymore. It happens. Just know that whatever they're going through, it's not your fault. Maybe they could use counseling, that does often work too. I'm sorry for what you're going through and you should let them know how you're feeling. Let them know how their behavior is effecting you. That is very important. I am a mother and I would want my children to tell me. Life is hard enough without having to deal with everyone elses problems, especially your own parents bad behavior. Good luck dear and be strong.
2006-07-22 07:14:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From someone who has pondered divorce (and the effect it would have on her kids) for the last 9 years, I can tell you there is much you can do...allow it and remind them to play nicely. Sadly, grown adults tend to turn into hateful, childish idiots when they are full of hurt and resentment. My best advice is to accept that the divorce is probably the most healing thing for all parties. And although it's unfair that you might have to be the "adult" periodically, try to remind them that although you might accept their plans to divorce that you cannot tolerate them doing so in a less-than-respectful manner. Insist they do this thing in the least hurtful fashion (that means no trashtalking each other and no using you to hurt the other). If you have weathered the indifference or the hatefulness that have led them here, then you are stronger than most and you can persevere the divorce that will most surely lead to calmer, more peaceful, more wholesome times.
2006-07-22 07:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by ophelia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it has happened twice and there is some deception... it looks like your parents need to handle this on their own.... You can't stop your parents from getting divorced. The best thing for you to do is try to understand and be there for the both of them. And let them know you love them no matter what.
2006-07-22 07:09:45 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
saw, there isnt much you can do, unfotunatelt adults are udults and at times they act younger and at this poin they are acting younger then you the best thing i could suggest is tell them you would like to have a family meeting and sit around the dinning room table with no tv or other distractions and tell them how you feel. saw between now and then make a journal of things you want to say although you may feel silly but never trust your mind to work in a trama situation like that. other then that saw your feelings are playing kinda moot as your parents have made up their minds. please for gods sake learn somthing though all of this remeber how this makes you feel and remeber if your parents do divorce how much you have to go through and be smart and choose a person when you get married that believes in lifetime commitments.
2006-07-22 07:14:57 · answer #8 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't stop it. It's between them, and chances are that you don't know the whole story. Nobody really knows what goes on in a marriage except the two people involved. Don't stress about this, because it will not change what happens.
2006-07-22 08:16:38 · answer #9 · answered by cryptoscripto 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a situation that does not include you.....yes, I know you are part of the family, and I know you would prefer them to stay together....but at least one of them does not agree......it is not your fault, and the love they have, or have not got, has nothing to do with you....they both still love you I am sure....the best you could do is make it so they don't fight about these things in front t of you....but you would have to let them know how upset it is for you to hear them
2006-07-22 07:13:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋