me and my husband been married for 5 years, and he wants a divorce/seperation. he's in the army, and said if i was to file, it would mess up his army benifits, and the insurance for our kids. i love him and miss him so much, and no matter what i do or say, he won't take me back. I want my husband back, but if he doesn't want me anymore, do you think i should wait to file? i just want to get it over with, so i can quit hurting. should i talk to the army about it?
2006-07-22 06:29:00 · 27 answers · asked by gshawl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree, consult a lawyer.
You can also talk with someone from the army.
I am not sure what he is referring to, but filing fr divorce will not change anything in regards to insurance for the children. What it will mess up is he will have to pay child support, and maybe THAT is what he is concerned about!
2006-07-22 06:34:23 · answer #1 · answered by Pichi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was married to an E-5. They care about there the extra money they get frm BAH and BAQ. If he's not talking about rekindling the marriage then dont wait. File for the divorce. My ex husband is still in the army and now wants to get back together. Dont even waist your time. Some of the Army men are so full of it
2006-07-22 22:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by foxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to let him go and go ahead and file. He is worried about his army benifits. he's not worried about you. I'm sorry you are going via this.It does hurt I know I've been there before. I thought that I was so in love and the guy told me one day that he didn't have those feelings anymore. That was so many years ago and now the funny thing is I'm so happily married to a great man and that loser that I thought that I loved has nothing and no body. It is amazing how time heals. the sooner you file and get rid of him the sooner time starts. May everything work out for you.
2006-07-22 13:42:10 · answer #3 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh god..he wants to seperate but he dont want you to divorce him because hell loose every thing...my friend was with a guy in the army she had a son with him and he seperated from her...told her it was over..she tried talking to him,,,he didnt respond in any way..she called the army and told them he had responsibilities to take care of etc.etc. and they sent him home packing and he had to leave the army..dont call them..it made the situation worse for her..so forget the whole idea..this is his job and his only income..and believe me he wont be happy you did that. any way for now i would sort out your feelings first. get over the hurt. heal your self before you take any further action against him. you dont want any unnecisery come backs why you are hurting. give him the the seperation he wants. the time to think. and you should do exactly the same. then when the hurtings gone. file for a divorce.
2006-07-22 13:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. If he does not want you anymore, move on...Go to an attorney and find out your legal rights. Mention as well as what he said that you must file for a divorce...it looks as if he is making you look like you are at fault, when in actual fact he is...You have rights to and are entitled to everything...no matter what he says...You are entitled to even what he has made in the army...u are a part of the marriage as much as he was...do your homework....I smell a fish...Good luck
2006-07-26 09:09:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is someone else he is interested in and that is why he is not entertaining the idea of taking you back. Yes, you should talk to the army about it, or a "family law" lawyer about what would happen if you filed on him to confirm what he is saying about benefits & insurance. It could be he wants to protect himself & his money and that's why he doesn't want you filing first.
2006-07-22 13:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to sound so harsh, but if he's the one that's requesting a divorce then get yourself a lawyer and get a divorce. It sounds like he's more worried about his military pay than you and your kids well being. If you have questions about whether or not you'll lose your insurance(which you won't), just check with your health care provider(probably tricare, right?), go to base legal and speak to someone, or simply go to DPAC. Ask questions!!! Don't let him think that he can screw you over because you're uninformed. The only stupid question is one that's not asked. good luck. God bless.
2006-07-22 13:50:26 · answer #7 · answered by coastalbeauty222 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is really not coming back to you, then do what's right for you and your kids. He can't have it both ways, if he wants to be done with you - he needs to accept a divorce. If that costs him certain benefits, that's part of the reality he's chosing.
You will lose your own coverage, but it shouldn't affect the kids, since they are still his too.
Is he deployed? It might be reasonable to give him the chance to get home and try to re-establish your family - but you know that better than I do.
Watch out for yourself and your kids, and it sounds like that means moving on.
2006-07-22 13:36:15 · answer #8 · answered by justwebbrowsing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't stay married to a man who doesn't want you. Look at it this way--he says he doesn't want you any more, but still expects you to sacrifice your happiness and ability to move on to protect HIS benefits. Dump him! Start looking for a lawyer with experience dealing with divorces from enlisted spouses. They would know how to protect your kids benefits, as I'm sure this wouldn't be the first time the army was faced the matter. As for his, he doesn't deserve your consideration.
2006-07-22 13:36:05 · answer #9 · answered by misslabeled 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set the scene so you can talk one to one in private with no stress or distraction - Not 1:00AM in the morning. Pick the moment and be as relaxed as possible. If he is a serving member he may have a stress issue that he sees things a different way.
Lawyers are poor marriage guidance counselors try getting him to consider proper marriage guidance counseling - just once for old times sake??
2006-07-22 13:42:55 · answer #10 · answered by TD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋