I was happily married, till recently. I married my high school sweetheart, and even though i'm smokin hot (have to take my word on that one) i never even thought about cheating. But we started drifting apart, and one day, i met the man i think should have married. He likes what i like, he lets me be myself, jeez, how to put it into words? I've fallen for him. We still haven't had sex, but i hunger for it to happen. Meanwhile, i'm feeling pity for my husband, the spark just died. HELP!!!!
2006-07-22 06:18:27 · 22 answers · asked by AMBER D 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well you say you have been happily married "until recently."
Kinda sounds like a big coincidence that you were happily married until this other guy came back into your life.
Kinda sounds like you are wanting to cheat to get a spark...
Well...we all know an affair is f'n hot...and would give you some passion and excitement. BUT...do you really want to throw away a marraige for sex? You could easily have great sex with your husband too...but you are putting all your attention on new guy.
Newsflash - sex is ALWAYS hot with new people.
Make up your mind on if you want to be married to a great guy, or if you want to screw around and sleep with people. Be honest with your hubby, because an affair is just MEAN and CRUEL and totally selfish.
My advice is to stop talking and flirting with this other guy. Stop opening the door for something to happen...pretty soon, it will, and you'll be one of "those chicks".
2006-07-22 06:24:44 · answer #1 · answered by Nightwish 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What happened is you got bored in the marriage, and since you're "smokin' hot", it didn't take long for an equally "smokin'" guy to "sense" your vulnerability, and now you think you've met the love of your life. Well, I don't mean to burst your "smokin'" bubble, but you're not thinking correctly. Do not go that extra step and sleep with this man. You need to get some help to figure things out. You were completely in love with your husband at one time, and it can happen again, but you both will need counseling and it will take some work. If you get divorced and marry this new guy, in about 7 years you're going to be in the SAME SPOT as you are now. What you are going through right now is part of what marriage is. Yes, it is REALITY and most of us go through it. The trick is for you and your spouse to continue doing things together and not go off and do your own separate things all the time. Don't let daily life interfere with what is most important. Good luck.
2006-07-22 06:42:26 · answer #2 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Proverb: To be hungry and have no bread is pain to the universe and it is weak.
To be hungry and have bread and not eat it......ahhh.......that is discipline and a strength to the universe
You seem a very good person, and disciplined.
Has the spark gone never to return, or has the fire merely been rekindled by the advances and attentions of a passionate admirer?
Will he be there after he attains consumation with you as your husband is, or will he change as the other man surely does when the woman he has was taken from another man is smoking hot and a constant reminder that she is prey for the hunter.
Time and discipline are your attributes..tread careful.. it may be you feeling pity for yourself if it all goes wrong, but right now you do proud.
2006-07-22 06:51:38 · answer #3 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELP?? yep u definately need it, maybe its because u lack the maturity on how to keep a healthy relationship going that is YOUR problem.. your about to walk out on vows because the "grass looks greener on the other side" .. Trust me, the grass isnt always greener, and the only reason ur growing apart is because ur lusting after a man that isnt ur husband and so ur starting to find flaws in your husband even when they dont exsist to excuse your wanting to be with another man.. The "OH , IF I MAKE MY HUSBAND LOOK LIKE A LOSER IT WILL JUSTIFY ME CHEATING ON HIM".. guess what the only loser in this is you because u cant remain faithful to the man u married, even right now ur not being faithful and u havent even had sex, but your wanting and craving for another man, so guess what THATS CHEATING.. u "MIGHT" be hot but your a very UGLY person on the inside.. and guess what, ur looks will definately fade but the ugliness that you are showing wont, and one day there will be NOTHING pretty about u inside or out.. and thats where the real misery for you will begin.. I HOPE YOUR HUSBAND WAKES UP AND SMELLS THE COFFEE OF WHAT A LOSER OF A PERSON HE MARRIED.. and u should feel pity for him, because he married the likes of u, not because u want to leave him, in that reguard ur doing him a favor..
2006-07-22 06:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slow down!
You were happily married....then the spark died? I think you really misunderstand marriage. Now you're feeling a spark for someone else, and thinking that you should have married them? Why, so you can feel the spark for a while, only to have it die?
Marriage trancends the spark and it recreates the spark.
Look, I'm not saying it's wrong to quit on your marriage if you really think it's dead. And it's not wrong to follow your heart with this other man, but it sounds like you might be in a little bit of a cycle here.
2006-07-22 06:27:01 · answer #5 · answered by justwebbrowsing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
amber ..... its not a feel good answer , but your the reason why your marriage is dying you are killing it.... and when this mr perfect gets boring youll possible look for some confort elswhere. you need to get past your infatuation of how great i am and commit to fix your marriage. i as well feel pity for your husband you are so not fair. you are the preverbial lying woman complaining why noone believes her. you may not have had sex with this man but you will. and sex doesnt make you a cheater any more then the fact you are emotionally cheating on him. i wonder why people divorce so much lately, its becuase people like you make a promise and when it doesnt suite you, you just say i dont "feel" like i made the right promise to the right person...
if this new man is smart he will realize if you can do this to a man you promised your love till death do you part he'll have his way with you and point out the fact that he is dumping you becuase he cant stand somone who wont respect their marriage vows and that you cant be trusted to repect anything with him. i hope you do litterally and hypothetically get screwed here. you deserve what your about to get.......
2006-07-22 06:33:15 · answer #6 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't drag my husband around, if it isn't there anymore then let him go so both of you can get on with your lives. I would discontinue any kind of relationship with the guy friend, this is only clouding your judgement. Seek counseling. Like most couples that marry at an early age there can be some type of groove you get in and it is hard to get out of. Love, Life and Relationships require an effort. Good luck.
2006-07-22 06:49:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say if you put as much interest in your husband you would feel the spark with him as well.
Giving the other man is just a thrill right now, your husband has been with you over the years and you have many fond memories to share with each other.
It is up to you as to what you do, but you must be honest with your husband he deserves to know the truth ;)
Best of luck to you both
2006-07-22 07:37:48 · answer #8 · answered by young at heart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please don't take this the wrong way... what I'm going to say isn't very nice. You are already cheating on your husband... the fact that you haven't had sex doesn't get you any brownie points. You need to do one of two things: divorce your husband or cut all ties w/ this new guy. You can't stay with your husband just b/c you feel sorry for him, you can divorce him and save him the pain of knowing that you cheated on him. All divorces aren't horrible and messy... they can go calmly. So, make a choice.
2006-07-22 06:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like youre looking for an easy clear cut answer to a problem that wont allow an easy answer for. Id have a good convo with your hubby and rediscover common ground. The man you met is simply a man who you need to avoid until youve exhausted options with your husband, otherwise he will make things worse because youre vulnerable right now.
2006-07-22 07:29:01 · answer #10 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋