would this be morally ok?

Question

i don't want to have sex before marriage with my boyfriend.. but is it ok to do other stuff? like oral?
i'm just wondering if that's morally alright? i know this sounds like a stupid question but i'm completely serious and confused
he tells me it's alright
but i'm not sure?

i'm in 10th grade and he's in 11th.

Answer 1

Your question is certainly not stupid, and it is something that many people, including myself have asked. I got married about two years ago when I was 21, and my wife and I also wanted to save sex until then. We came to the conclusion that oral sex falls in the same category as sex, and decided to wait until marriage for that too. It certainly wasn't easy, but trust me, when you get married, you won't regret waiting for anything.
I guess I would categorize oral sex as sex because what a male's body is experiencing during it is nearly identical to what it experiences during intercourse. If your boyfriend tells you that it is different, he is wrong. Also, sex is more than just the act of intercourse. It is the process of making love, and so being naked around each other and touching each other - and oral - really are all part of sex. Also, having oral sex will make it unbelievably difficult to stop there and not go further.
Yes, it's tough to wait, and that is probably how your boyfriend is feeling, but it will be one of the best choices you have ever made in your life.
I think that is great that you are thinking that way, and don't give up on it.
Feel free to email me or my wife. Her email address is [e-mail].

Answer 2

My dear sweetheart - if a boy tells you that 'it's ok', it means one thing - he is selfish and he is thinking only of himself and the pleasure you would be giving him. No, it is not okay. You have been given a sound mind to think and to make decisions that will affect you. Nobody else has the right to encourage you to do something that you are confused about. Oral sex is not ok. Your wonderfully created body was a gift to you. You are supposed to take care of it - it's your temple. Pure and clean. When you start giving permission for boys to touch, you are helping to change the way your temple looks. Not only physically, but we have emotions that get in the way too, That's why you are asking if this is 'morally' right. Diseases can still be transferred, you are not any safer and if you are asking, you already know the answer. Someone has already talked to you about morals and values and right and wrong. Tell your boyfriend that you are going to wait before you have anything to do with sex until you have met the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. He will be waiting too.

Answer 3

No, chica. It would not be morally okay. I am goin' into the 11th grade also and I know that any kind of sex is not good for people our age. All of it should be saved until marriage. God intended sex to link two individuals to each other. That is better for a married couple. If you went ahead and had oral sex, how would you feel if you broke up? If you had a harsh break up, I know I wouldn't want to remember that relationship as one where I was still connected to the guy that I am angry with. No matter what happens, you will be connected to him. I doubt that you would want that. Why do you want to have oral sex? I bet that you want to satisfy his physical hunger so that you will be emotionally satisfied. Girls naturally want a strong relationship where you are emotionally supported. Just because you give him what he wants doesn't mean that you will be happy. It's okay to want that emotional bond, but it's not okay to exchange your body or mouth for that. "Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple." I Corinthians 3:16-17

Answer 4

Um, I don't know where that mommy2savanah person got their info, but you can't get pregnant from oral sex at all. If you swallow any ejaculate, it goes through your digestive system.. how could it get into your reproductive organs??

It's just a matter of personal choice. Every person has a different idea of what's "right". If you feel comfortable and not guilty messing around with your boyfriend, then go for it. If he wants you to do something you're not ready for, tell him. If he truly cares about you, he will respect your decision and will lay off.

I say a good rule of thumb is that if you have any ounce of doubt or confusion when it comes to sexual stuff, wait until you have 100% confidence in yourself and your partner that it's okay.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I commend your for making the decision to wait until marriage for sex. That is great. The other stuff is totally up to you and what you want to do; the only problem though is that all the other stuff can lead to sex. You get caught up in the moment and then before you know it you have had sex. Personally, I would wait for the oral, but anything else I would do. And your boyfriend should respect you for that and if he doesn't then he isn't worth keeping around.

Answer 6

I think you are the only one who can answer this question. I am assuming you want to wait until marriage to have sex so that your first time is with your husband. Do you think you will feel any different if your husband isn't the first you experiance oral sex with? Of course your boyfriend says it's alright...he wants to get some. Just do what is in your heart and if he leaves you because of it than he wasn't the right guy for you. Good Luck!

Answer 7

It depends on the interpretation of "sex". Do yourself a favor: Don't get technical about drawing a line at virginity, and saying that all else goes. If you can't decide if a particular action is "too far," imagine what the look on your future bride or groom's face would be if you ever told her or him that you shared that act with another person. Make decisions now that would bless the heart of your future spouse, not wound it. Ask any girl who is dating someone who has had multiple sex acts and what happens when she finds out. For me, when I was a teen, it made me very ill and I'd think about it a lot. Which hurt even worse.

Answer 8

If you are asking this question in the first place then you most likely already know the answer. When you are asking if it is morally allright are you speaking from a religious angle? If so then anything sexual is not ok. If you do go ahead with it remember that sexually transmitted diseases CAN be transmitted orally.

Answer 9

This is what I think...and it's only my opinion, not fact:

Don't do anything that could make feel guilty for what you've done. If the "other stuff" will make you feel like you've done something against your own morals, then don't do it.

This is NOT a stupid question. I applaud you for thinking things through before making a decision. I also applaud you for making the decision to wait...it's not easy to do, but has wonderful rewards. Good for you.

Answer 10

Well biblically speaking it is not okay at all. When we're single is when we are to concentrate on God. If your listening to him then it's easier to pick your mate...I know. Nobody wants something used and that's what you feel like used, after all is said and done and that boy is gone. Don't degrade yourself....your worth so much more and your husband will be so happy you waited cause he meant more to you then anyone else.