There is a girl whom I love, but never has the courage to tell her directly as she works in my office. But she knows there is someone I love very much. Once I fell sick and knowing that I was sick she didn't call me, but sent an SMS. Even in the office she dint come to me, but sent an email asking about my health. I was upset.I sent her an sms that 'thanks for asking I am fine'. over which she asked ...'why this attitude'. Then I changed the topic and tried to make her feel ease...and she sms me ..'why u expect so much from people, they r not as gud n helping as you are'...over which I wrote ...'now i will not expect anything from anyone, but, may i ask what did I expect. except 2 words that I am loved and needed? don't i deserve that much? At which she called what does this mean, doe to my shy nature and not letting her hurt by telling her that i loved her, i lied that I was upset that no body enquired about my health while I used to do so much for people...then things like that.
2006-07-22 05:31:18 · 7 answers · asked by Arnie 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
After that I sms her.'thanks for calling, but if you cant understand my silence, you will never understand my words.' at which she replied .. "got it, but what can I do if I cant understand either. I am like that only and franlky speaking...I AM NOT WORTH IT"
At this i felt sorry and called her up and again, to male her comfortable, lied that I was talking about people's behaviour, because I dint want her to feel bad.
Now, I am asking you guys what should I do. She is a good looking girl and I am average guy, I loved her for her intellect and nature...help me what to do now?
2006-07-22 05:31:42 · update #1
Hi Arnie,
I fully understand what you are going through right now. I myself had been in a simmilar situation a few months ago.
First of all I wish you a good health since you have recovered from illness. Yes, it might be true that she is not as inclined towards you as you are for her. But there's no need to loose heart. One thing is clear from the details that you gave, she likes you. I mean she does care for you. She is playing mind games. What she wants is that you should get a bit more tougher on life. She knows that you are good, you are helping and also that you are vulnerable because you have been expecting a lot from people. That often leaves you dissapointed and worried. She wants this to change. She wants a man. she wants her man to be fully secured and keep herself secure as well.
There are a few things that you can do, I also did the same and it did bring me success.
First of all keep in mind that you are the best. People turn towards you for help. So there's a natural positive that attracts her towards you. Secondly, don't ever give her the impession that you are lacking anything(only for now), even if its her love. give her the impression that you can provide and protect and you have strong shoulders. at office, be at your cheerfull best, crack jokes, make people happy around you and if she looking at you from the corner of her eyes, give her a nice smile and turn your face off from her. Let a mystery suuround you. She 'll come to check. If she mails you, give her a response that makes her feel that you have absolutely no problems.
Don't be shy. Walk up occasionally to her desk and ask what is she doing but don't listen to her answer and quickly refer to something kept on her desk and ask something about it, but be short and without looking at her face say, "ok i gotto go" and return to your desk or to the cfeteria.
The idea is to show her some attitude. Let her run after you. She wants the same. Actually her attitude tells that she is giving you a chance by sending you mails and sms but does't wants to admit and show her love. Get these signals right buddy.
During all this while if she comes to spend some time with you alone, make her most comfortable in your company. Ask only about her. her family, her mother, her life. Dont start anything about yourself untill she asks. Only give positive answers and be a very good listner, this will make her come again and again.
Let her fall in love with you. You will know it when it happens. let her get desperate for you.
Ask her out eventually but this step will have to wait right now.
Alaways remember if nothing works then "SHE IS NOT WORTH YOU!!!"
Best of LUCK!!!!
Noddy
2006-07-22 06:39:58 · answer #1 · answered by .:NoDdY:. 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You already asked this? This is something you really need to have some courage about.
I have been in situations where I have been terified of telling someone, I have done it, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt, one thing I do know, I dont beat myself up about what could have been.
Grow some balls and tell her how you feel. It may well go t1ts up, so what, at lest then you can move on. Anything is better than where you are now surely....
2006-07-22 05:42:39 · answer #2 · answered by The Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to lunch and have a chat. Or go to a park or somewhere where there are other people and tell her.
Keep in mind she might not feel the same and not want to talk to you again. But get it out so you can move on with your life.
Remember, we are truely alone in this world and have ourselves to take care of formost. To depend on someone else to make us happy is an untruth. You can't be mad at others for not calling you when you are in need. That is a disappointment, people are free to do what they want and to be mad at something you expected them to do is your trouble, not theirs.
2006-07-22 05:39:46 · answer #3 · answered by catstu9526 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she thinks you are just a friend. You need to tell her how you feel about her. She won't start that conversation if you don't. If it doesnt work out at least you will know where she stands instead of always wondering. If it does work out you will be glad you opened up. Good Luck!
2006-07-22 05:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by wolffirestone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not expressing your feelings for her, and you are expecting her to know how you feel. walk up to her and tell her that you have feelings for her and would like to know if she would like to go on a date. she may surprise you and say yes. if i never took a chance with my wife we would not be married today with 20 years of marriage behind us.
2006-07-22 05:39:52 · answer #5 · answered by native 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be a nice way of her telling you that she isn't interested and she just wants to just be nice.
Don't make a mountain out of a molehill.
2006-07-22 05:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by Japan_is_home 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quit being a bozo! ask her out just for lunch maybe at first. take it easy. feel her out maybe see where she is at.
2006-07-22 05:40:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋