Marriage and weight gain?

Question

How would you take it if your husband said "If you looked the way you do now when we first met, i never would have gone out with you".. I know i have gained alot of weight and I have tried to lose it, but it makes me feel very unattractive when my husband says this to me. He says it doesnt matter now becuase he loves me and got to know me, but i still feel bad because now i know he does not find me sexy.

Answer 1

omg what a dipshit. i kow you love him but dang a man can somtimes ruin a perfect thing by opening mouth and inserting both freakin feet and if possibly the also insert their shoes aswell. i am a husband and i know that certain things are best left alone.if i where you at this point, i would do more talking with him although rehashing a low point may not be fun, just let it get out of control and turn into an arguement. if i am guessing correctly your husband tried to get as close as he could to encourage you to loose weight and stumble flat out on his butt with out thinking of what he said. if he really does love you and you know it then please understand his intentions where to inspire you to do what you already want to do which is loose wieght, he just screwed it up in stead of inspiring and aiding you in your will he botched it up. if in your talking you accept his appology then you are saying you wont use it in an arguement and you trully accept it. although god made us who we are and some are over weight he made you that way and gave you the ability to chage what about you, you dont like. find a unique way you to can inspire each other to improve yourselves together.

short story; great grandmother and my mother when she was really young. g,grandmother realized my mothers weight gain and instead of pointing it out she just started a little routine my mother liked with out pointing out her wieght they would eat a fruit together before meal times and talk my mother didnt know untill some 40 years later when my grandmother told her what it was about. its a sensitive subject but understanding why he made this error in communication and his intention goes a long way in fixing the problem love your man he deffinatly loves you.. good luck

Answer 2

Well, I am sure he doesn't look the same as he did when you first met him either. That was a very mean thing to say, but maybe you should look at yourself a little deeper inside. Why did you gain all the weight? Are you making time to pamper yourself, or have you gotten caught up in being a wife and mother and forgotten to take care of yourself. I know, because it happened to me. Get a makeover, not just for him, but to make yourself feel better. Join the gym or the nearest YMCA. Tell him to come with you. Tell him that you want to feel sexy again. Tell him that the comment he made about your weight made you think and now you want to change that and you need his help. Tell him you both can benefit from eating healthier and exercising. Take some walks together after dinner. Little changes can make a world of a differences. Don't get on the scale though. Don't put to much emphasis on that. you'll be surprised what big results little changes can make. Remember, you didn't get this way over night.

Answer 3

Sometimes I wonder if there should be automatic marriage rotation every 10 years. After a decade with the same partner, the law would give you one year of dating time, then require you to marry a different spouse. That way it keeps it sort of interesting, more stimulating, and gives more legitimacy to the concept of musical chairs. I was thinking about making that into law when I got to be president, but it doesn't look like I'll ever get enough of a voter base to accomplish that. Sad.

Answer 4

I think a husband like that is guilty of verbal abuse irregardless of how much weight you may have gained. No affection or anything romantic until a full apology has been said. He should be ashamed...and you should give the experience a good long look to see how you would like to change or modify things in your marriage.

Answer 5

He may be trying to guilt you into losing it . My opinion is it doesn't matter how much you weigh or what you look like there is beauty in all of us . Dont let him play these mind games with you , Tell him how it makes you feel . If he truly loves you he would not purposfully hurt you , either physical or emotional. Be strong and be comfortable with yourself, you have to love you before anyone else can. Good luck sister

Answer 6

He should love you for you and that was not nice of him to say. I have been dating this guy for over 2 yrs and gained about 25 lbs. I have opted to loose it and he has never said anything to me., It is not about what is on the outside it is about what is on the inside.
My smart mouth would have said
" If you looked the way you look now" I would have never dated you or married you either butt head"

Answer 7

Thats when u say, yeah i feel the same way about u, if i had known ur penis was as small as it is i wouldnt of ever gone out with u either, but since i love u , and accept who u are, ive learned to deal with it.. lol see how he likes it..

Answer 8

I'm right there with you baby..........next time he launches that gem of a compliment at you...throw this at him...If i knew then your penis wasn't going to get any bigger.I never would have dated you..........lol after that shut him off for about 4 weeks.start exercising and use the comment to get back to the way you look no matter how hard it is just do it. I lost 40lbs and my ex wife still treated me like crap.booted her.got a woman who loves me now ....and I gained about 30lbs back.and this one stills loves me. So do it for you in the long run and tell him to pull his head out of his azz

Answer 9

How about him? Does he look like David Beckam? If he has a pot belly tell him he is no better.

In the meantime, try to exercise and cut down of too much fatty foods.

Answer 10

My hubby did this to me alot. I weighed 123 at 5'4 huge boobs 23 inch waist when we got married. Had our 1st baby and god forbid waist went to 26 inches and I became a fat pig. Men are jerks and your hubby is probably into porn big time like mine was.