My sister is divorced. She left an abusive husband after 5 years and 5 kids. How does she get back into the dating scene?
2006-07-22 03:55:39 · 27 answers · asked by Jo Mo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me clarify something. She has 5 kids but two were before ***hole. She is not overweight, she is actually really beautiful. She has a good job as a paralegal for the Fed government. It is hard with the kids but I am here to babysit. Where are the good guys.
2006-07-22 04:17:04 · update #1
She needs to take it very very slow.....not introduce her children to her dates until he's been around at least a year....never have sex when the children are there.....let the guy know she's not looking for a father for her kids, just a social life for herself.....use double thick condoms when she does decide to have sex because the last thing she needs is another child at this point in her life.
**dating with 5 children can be expensive. (babysitters)
2006-07-22 04:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give her time. She may not want to date right now. When she is ready, she will date. Let her get over being abused for the past 5 years. And with 5 kids to tend to on her own right now, she may have her hands full. Has she told you she wants to get back into the dating scene, or are you just wanting her to get out there? Don't rush her. She will in due time.
2006-07-22 11:02:35 · answer #2 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing that is going to hurt her the most is the fact that she has 5 kids, one is not to bad but five ooh man. It's going to look like she is looking for someone to help raise the kids and also economically five kids is a beyach. So I guess the best thing to is to get out there and date, but make sure that she is looking the best way possible. If she is over, she needs to loose weight. I'm sorry but I'm being honest, 5 kids damn that's alot I don't have any which i'm glad. Oh make sure she get child support for those kids.
2006-07-22 11:02:19 · answer #3 · answered by ybzcarlos1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she shouldn't jump into the dating scene too quickly, that's for sure. She needs to take some time out for herself & her kids and become independent of men. Once she feels confident that she can "make it" without relying on a man, then she can start making wise decisions about who she should date. I have been there and know how unhealthy it can be to jump back into dating. She should get involved in a support group for divorced parents, get involved in her church, grow her "network" of friends, etc. Not only will these groups offer her support to get her through this difficult time, but who knows who she might meet there? :)
2006-07-22 11:05:00 · answer #4 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With 5 kids in 5 years, when does she find the time to date???
2006-07-22 11:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take quite a bit of time before she's back in the dating scene. Abusive partners have a way of chipping away at someone's self-esteem. Your sister might give the impression that she's ok after leaving him, but she's not. Her self-esteem is really low and she needs time to rebuild that. She'll also need some time to trust men again. I mean, giving your heart and your life to someone only to have them abuse it wears on you, it plays a mean mindgame.
Once she takes the time to heal, then she'll be ready for dating.
2006-07-22 11:01:57 · answer #6 · answered by Ron B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After a divorce it's always best just to get a little bit of counseling for a large variety of reasons. Most ESPECIALLY after an abusive marriage, she'll need abuse survivor counseling before dating or else she'll repeat the same mistakes and fail to see the same red flags. Call your local spouse abuse shelter and ask where she can find free counseling (they offer it for after you have a divorce too, they don't want you repeating it over and over and therefore teaching it to your kids) and her counselor will advise her as to timing and methods of dating. That's the safest bet.
2006-07-22 11:01:14 · answer #7 · answered by Jennicysm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be tough because of her responsibilities and lack of free time. I will tell you that I married a woman with 3 children. Unfortunately we are divorced now and today I would not consider dating a woman with more than 1 child. It's too chaotic and your sis has dug herself a deep hole to crawl out of.
2006-07-22 11:03:55 · answer #8 · answered by killmylandlord 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check here. Lots of support.
https://www.clubmom.com/display/244673?kid=84495&keyword=dating+after+divorce
2006-07-22 10:58:23 · answer #9 · answered by skigod377 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST OFF- get a baby-sitter. Time will guide her....different for most people....took me 4 months the first time and 1 year the 2nd time. I don't know how to find the right one.....so I quit looking....hehe
2006-07-22 11:02:31 · answer #10 · answered by SouthernLiberty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋