2006-07-22 03:03:41 · 15 answers · asked by Samantha S 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blonde replies. "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
FINALLY, a smart blonde joke.
2006-07-22 03:15:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss, Sally, left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"
2006-07-22 10:10:24 · answer #2 · answered by Peedah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats the best thing a blonde can wear behind her ears.
Her ankles.
Whats a blondes idea of protected sex.
Making love in a bus shelter.
Did you hear about the blonde who wanted a pair of alligator shoes?.
She went to Florida, shot four of them and still complained because none were in her size.
11 blondes and one brunette went mountain climbing.
The rope almost parts and they all decide someone should let go so the others can live. The brunette gives an impassioned speech on how she should be able to live.
All the blondes aplaud.
2006-07-22 10:15:20 · answer #3 · answered by cerebus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Blonde had a bad attendance record with the company she worked for, particularly being late for work in the morning. She was called to a disciplinary hearing where she was given a chance to explain her reasons.
Her argument: "I get up in the morning. I shower to avoid Aids,
I look in the mirror and try to straitghten my hair. I sometimes miss the taxi and then I am late."
Her boss has a bright idea. He gets one of the blonds colleagues to sneak into her rooms and steal the mirror off the wall, without the Blondes knowledge.
The following day she does not turn up for work.
The same happens the day after that. So the Blonde gets summoned to another hearing to explain his reasons for not attending work.
Her argument: "I get up in de morning. I shower to avoid Aids, I look in de mirror. I see no Blonde. I think I already left for work"
2006-07-22 10:15:04 · answer #4 · answered by zaazzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, the best blonde joke I know is a visual one. I'll try to describe it, but it's funnier if you see it.
A blonde and a brunette are having lunch together. When they finish eating, the brunette tells the blonde, "You have something on your cheek." The blonde rubs at her cheek. The brunette says, "No, the other side." The blonde, puzzled, sticks her finger in her mouth and rubs at the INSIDE of her cheek.
2006-07-22 10:08:42 · answer #5 · answered by swbiblio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hope you like them:
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
.................
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. c0pyr|ghta!haj0k3s
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them
.............................................
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. c0pyr|ghta!haj0k3s
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them
..................
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. c0pyr|ghta!haj0k3s
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them
.................
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
hope you enjoy
2006-07-22 10:17:32 · answer #6 · answered by Herbicide 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately jump into them. About a minute later, a policeman comes into the barn and sees the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one.
“Meow,” says the redhead.
“It must be a cat,” thinks the policeman and he kicks the second sack.
“Woof,” says the brunette.
“Must be a dog,” thinks the policeman and he kicks the third sack.
“Potatoes,” says the blonde.
2006-07-22 10:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by clic1_0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde police officer pulled over a blonde driver for speeding. When asked to see her license, the blonde driver looked in her purse and couldn't find it. She asked the blonde officer what it looks like.
The officer told her : "it's square with your picture on it."
The blonde driver, still looking through her purse locates a pocket mirror and asks the blonde cop: "Will this do?"
The blonde cop takes the mirror, looks in it and hands it back to the blonde driver and says, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you're a cop".
2006-07-22 10:55:58 · answer #8 · answered by Patty Pooh Pooh Pie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A brunette and blonde were walking down a tree-lined street. Without any prior notice the brunette stoppped suddenly and exclaimed "Look at that dead bird"! The blonde calmly stopped walking and looked up iinto the sjy and shouted "WHERE!!!!!"
2006-07-22 10:08:26 · answer #9 · answered by Gretchen B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you heard the one about the blond who brought a vibrator and knocked all her teeth out
or
A man with uncontrollable bowl problems is admitted to hospital
during the night he sh*ts the bed for the fourth time
he is so embarrassed he doesn't want to call the nurse again so he picks up the sheets and throws them out of the window
A blond is passing after a night out and the sheets land on her head
she panics and start striking out punching and kicking
a security guard who has seen everything walks over to her trying not to laugh just as she frees herself and says" are you OK what happened"?
the blond covered in crap and panting looks at hIm and says " im not sure officer im ok but i think i just beat the sh*t out of a ghost"!!!!!
2006-07-22 10:34:10 · answer #10 · answered by kb1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋