he is out of control before and after drinking. he shout and brake. he doesnt want medical help. he doesn't agree whith me when i told him that he's an alcoholic and he needs help.
2006-07-22 01:31:22 · 10 answers · asked by aya 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
he needs to hit rock bottom, you cant help him..sorry
2006-07-22 01:34:17 · answer #1 · answered by julia4evert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any addict can only be helped if they acknowledge the problem and want to be helped. He is not at that point, and there is nothing you can do.
You mention things being broken. A violent drunk has no control of his/her actions, and may harm you. If you are living with this person, move out TODAY, or have them move out.
Please don't think you can help or change him. You can't. In five years working with suicidal and despairing people, I never met anyone who was able to help a partner that didn't want the help.
Your main duty is to stay safe yourself - and if there are any children involved, get them out of that destructive environment. As well as putting the children at risk, this environment teaches them at an early age that excessive drinking and violence (particularly toward women) is OK.
For everyone's sake, if you are in that kind of situation, act TODAY. There are help lines that can give you the support you need if you do not have friends or family to turn to. You cannot allow yourself to stay "because there is nowhere else to go" or because "he's OK when he's not drinking". Sadly, I have seen women seriously injured and killed in this kind of situation - do not let it happen to you.
2006-07-22 11:49:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's assume his need for alcohol is due to his body sensing that there is too little sugar (fuel) in his blood stream to keep his brain functioning properly. Fuel in the bloodstream is glucose (a form of sugar), and is made from digestive processes breaking down the food we eat into that basic sugar. Alcohol is a form of sugar that is quickly ingested and quickly satisfying to the body's need for sugar.
If that is the case, then if you can get him to eat other foods that satisfy his body's need for sugar before he starts drinking then he may not pick up that drink. If you are in charge of cooking, this may be do-able. Some tricks would be to have a specially made protein drink ready for him when he gets up in the morning (especially if he has a hangover). Have a breakfast that includes 5-minute oatmeal as often as he will eat it. (Get creative and include the oatmeal in other dishes, if he will not). If you pack his lunches, give him tuna or salmon sandwiches at least once a week. Twice a week if he will allow. Make sure he has stuff for in between meal snacks. Meet him at the door with "appetizers" before he starts drinking. Like cheese on crackers or stuff.
Don't start all this at once or he may balk.
Also, check on the web for the Alcoholics Anonymous in your area. They have support groups for persons who wish to cope with alcoholics.
Check out www.hufa.org, for basic information on low blood sugar, the possible source of his need for alcohol and remember while you are reading the info that alcohol, like sugar, is a carbohydrate.
2006-07-22 08:43:13 · answer #3 · answered by Pegasus90 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try an intervention. Call AA sometimes they'll stop by and talk to the alcoholic. The problem has more to do with you though. You need help as well. There are alanon meetings and ways for you to lead your life and not tolerate his behavior. You do not have the power to make him stop. Its your decision to stay with him. He needs to make a decision to turn his will to a power greater then himself. You need to take care of yourself. Good luck!
2006-07-22 08:41:05 · answer #4 · answered by Mike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for him and more importantly for YOURSELF is to get the heck out of there as fast as you can! You can tell him that until things change it is over. That will not help him until he has had enough and wants to get help for himself but it will sure help you. I take there has been no violence towards you (yet) but are you willing to stay around and take the chance. Believe me the time will come. Suggest AA, tell him you care for him and then git! Good Luck and I hope things work out.
Now go.
T
2006-07-22 11:40:05 · answer #5 · answered by twhoodoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. What you need to do is to run away and save yourself. He has to hit bottom in order to believe he must change or die.
If that happens and he is successful with sobriety for a year or two, then you might think about going back.
2006-07-22 08:36:14 · answer #6 · answered by pondering_it_all 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only help him by helping yourself. Get out. Get out now. He will only get help when he's ready. You can't force him. You can't love him enough to make him want to change. You can't control him. You can't nag him into it. You can't guilt him into it. What you can do is make sure you are gone.
2006-07-22 08:39:14 · answer #7 · answered by Kali K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE is the only one that can help himself.
YOU can look into Al-Anon meetings to find out ways to make sure you are not enabling or encouraging his behavior. BUt addicts are the only ones that can help themselves. You can't force him into treatment.
If this is NOT your husband, I suggest leaving him.
2006-07-22 08:34:54 · answer #8 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He or she needs to help themselves first and decide that they are ready to be helped.
2006-07-22 08:51:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. My father is the sameway and it sucks.
2006-07-22 08:36:00 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋