Question for men in long term relationships?

Question

Why is it that sometimes men don't want sex with their wife or partner but will happily watch porn to achieve the same result?

Ladies if you want to answer, how does it make YOU feel?

I find it so upsetting when I am gagging for it and he won't come to bed with me, and then I KNOW what he looks at when I am asleep... Thanks for all the answers so far.

Snake Oil... didn't you see the word "sometimes". It's bloody obvious I am talking about my husband.

Answer 1

same result less work...

Answer 2

My dear lady, I think you should not jump into any conclusion. There are many reasons as to why men cannot perform in bed, they are very tired, they gave too much stress or worst they are impotent. Impotency is the man most sensitive subject to talk about.. That may be the reason why he needs to watch porn movies hoping it can arouse him.
I have the same experience 4 years ago, my husband just go to bed and both of us did not have any intimacy for 4 years. Later, I found some medicine he took to boost up his sexual needs. But it did not help. So maybe, you can have a good talk with your husband about it, let him pour out what is in his mind, it will probably make him feel better and less stress.

Answer 3

Why do ladies like you always frame your question as if you are an authority on ALL MEN?
If you have a husband or partner who does what you've insinuated ALL MEN do, you should ask HIM.
If you're going to say that you know ALL MEN do what you've claimed, then I'm going to ASSUME that you've collected the evidence first-hand and if that's the case, then the answer to your question would be, because you're slightly undesireable because you've been intimate with ALL MEN.
edit:
What would have been obvious would be. "why is it that sometimes my husband doesn't want sex...blah blah blah" What you wrote was "Why is it that sometimes men don't want sex...blah, blah, blah." If you can't see the difference, then what's bloody obvious to me is you have a problem communicating your thoughts. Maybe therein lies both your quandary and a possible perspective on its solution.

Answer 4

this is an long question, that really can't be answered. The line between reality and fantasy is very fine, and some men want their wives or girlfriends to act like porn stars in the bedroom, but angels elsewhere. Most women can't understand this,and of course,can cause problems within the realationship. One thing ladies should remember is that it is only a fantasy world for that guy at that time. Most guys,still love thier wives and would never stray.

Answer 5

I believe that men (some men) get sick of the same ole' same ole. Sad but true. I've heard a lot of men say they don't to sleep w/the same woman all the time. That's why a lot of guys are players. And porn excites them. The whole sexual experience is different for men than it is for women. Women get more into the emotional side of it. And being a lady, it hurts like hell when that happens. That's why a lot of relationships don't work out. My mom & dad got a divorce because of my dad's sex drive.

Answer 6

I used to have a partner who wanted to do it ALL the time. We split up 9 years ago and my partner now is just like you say, although he goes thru phases. Thankfully atthe moment he's in a "not looking at porn" phase, but he still dont want it like I do. sometimes it really gets to me, ideally I'd like it at least 3 times a week but I'm lucky, very lucky if I get it 3 times a month. Sometimes it really gets to me and I feel like why do I even bother with this relationship, but in general he's really nice and supports me with my huge amounts of emotional baggage (I suffer severe depression) we have 4 kids, 2 from the previous & 2 with him, and he has depression now. But that hasn't affected the amount we do it, its always been like this. When we were first together I thought it was because he liked to get to know someone first. Sometimes I really miss the old days.....................

Answer 7

Depends on the mood, or if there is lost attraction in the relationship. You see, its kind of like the reason that women don't want to have sex with their husband all the time especially as the marriage goes along unless you keep it passionate and romantic and keep switching things up.. its basically always gonna happen.

Answer 8

it's not necessarily that they don't find you attractive anymore

it's easier than sex, which is not guaranteed with the missus.
it's less hassle and in a fantasy you can play out everything just the way you want it.
it's a different experience and sensation, and especially if it is deemed naughty then they will get off on it.

What about when a woman drools over a footballer or Matt Damon or whoever is on tv and then keeps the image in their mind during sex?

Maybe you should milk him more often if it's becoming a problem, get involved in his fantasies instead of taking it personally.

Answer 9

Not really true but some men tends to have the habit of getting their wife to role play the actress in the porn. I don't know what is the reason behind it.

Answer 10

People get addicted to gambling ,alcohol and web sites like this (guilty as charged)
Pornography is sadly another one of those thing that men and women can get addicted to.
Check out www.pureintimacy.org For more info
This may or may not be your husbands problem ,either way it is a dangerous area in any marriage that needs to be addressed asap!

Answer 11

Hi, i have a simular problem.... but its the other way round its my wife who uses porn and goes on the internet chat....lol.
Personally from a male point of veiw i would prefere the real thing than a glass screen.