should I continue?

Question

I am married with kids. My husband cheated on me twice and was in prison twice in our 7 yrs of marriage. During his last imprisonment, I got to know a married guy (no kids), been with him for about a year. We sincerely care for each other and understand that we want the best for each other, won't hurt each other etc...in a way, we need each other. Now that my husband will be released soon, I initiated a break off. I feel since I expect no more nonsense from my husband, I should stop my inmoral way first. But I am hurting very badly, I am giving up someone who had been my pillar of support when I was most down. I hope it is right for me to give up our relationship, I am worry it will be for nothing if/when my husband cheat or commit another crime. For my kids, I carried on with my marriage and for them I am giving up the man whom I care a lot for. I never expect him to give up his wife, I just need someone whom I can share my ups and downs with. Should I give up for keep him?

Answer 1

Look, if you are not happy with your marriage why stay?
I believe that all the things you've said are excuses and there is a deeper problem than that.

Decide - be stern with your decision and no turning back.
It seems to me you are miserable and don't stay in a marriage you are very unhappy with and don't use your kids as an excuse. They will understand

Answer 2

Hi there, just want to share my 2 cents worth, l was an ex inmate when l was young, (was at the wrong place and wrong time) and l spent 3 yrs behind bars, there l have seen alot of faces, and depending on the nature of the crime your husband did, as long it is not drug related, most people ( under normal curcumstances will not return to prison) will change, and like me l am doing way better than any of my ex inmates, l got married and l have a daughter, but l married young as l wanted a sense of fulfilment of a family but as years and my work moved on, l met some people and l strayed and my wife found out, we just got divorced and it hurts to see it all go down the drain, what l can see is the man that u r seeing must understand that the "husband" will always be around due to your kids, but what if he can change this time? You may want to have a talk with your husband and be truthful about all, Now 1 year with a married man is not really good, cos with kids or not he should not be going out with you. My wife and l still call one another, talk and share our problems. We may may not get married again but ask yourself deep down, what do you NEED. Cos l found out alot of people mix up Needs and Wants. You take great care.

Answer 3

u have an unstable marriage before and now. since u have started an affair under circumstances and this affair that u started have given u hope and strength to stand up again, then why u want to give up this decent affair not bcos u have a bright future ahead when yr husband release from prison but a rather dark future, i think.

everybody disagree with affairs and i also agree with that but due certain circumstances, people tend to choose to take the wrong path. yes, u might break up a marriage but i believe that an affair was started with mutual understandings and whatever happened in future we have to hold our own responsibilities as we r all matured people.

i dont suggest u give up on this affair and i find no reason why u should. even if u give up on this affair. will it brings u any good??? i dont tink so...but instead i suggest u file for a divorce bcos yr husband is not a gentleman afterall.

this is a decision where u must decide for yrself only and nobody can decide for u.

is u and yr kids future, tink it over carefully and dont conclude just like that.

good luck and take care...

Answer 4

Sad to see your story. Pardon me for being frank, what you did is actually breaking up another happy family even though the guy have no children. Isn't this happening to you when your husband cheated you and how do you feel when you find out the truth?

I feel that you should give him up even though you need someone whom can share your up and downs. Yes, I do share your concern on your husband cheating you once again but ask yourself if you still have feeling for your husband. Only you can answer this question.
If you carry on the marriage with your husband bcoz of your kids, it is a mental torture for you. You don't gain anything from this marriage but what about your own kids development? You have to be brave, identify what is your next step and how does your marriage affect your children in future.
So think carefully what you want to do and what is best for your kids before you make your decision but hope you dun dedstroy another happy family. I think U will feel the agony when you found out your husband cheat on you, so I hope you don't repeat the mistake

Answer 5

Think of yr kids. What will they be like in the current situation . Father in prison, womaniser. If u sincerely care 4 yr children welfare get rid of both men and start a new life with yr kids. Display 4 them a better moral role than the 1 u r potraying now. The other man is just using u becos u r at yr most vunerable and he is having free sex. Do not depend on a man 4 yr happiness. Concentrate on bringing up yr kids. They r the most important people in yr life now. Work 4 them, live 4 them.

Answer 6

As far as your husband goes if he cheated twice there's a good chance he will go for number three.Really how do you know it was only twice?As far as the other man he may spend time with you to help you through your problems but he can't really be there for you because he is married.You say you stay with your husband because of the kids.Kids will adjust.Life is too short and from what you wrote your husband does not deserve your devotion.

Answer 7

Since your husband cheated (twice) you before and in prison, I suggest you leave your husband and go for the present man where you claimed as a pillar to you. Be fair to yourself and your present boyfriend, you have to care for the future. Hopefully your husband realised but seen to me your husband is taking you for a ride. Think about it and good luck.