How do I come to terms with who I am?

Question

I always thought I was going to be normal, but for the past year I have been fighting myself. I want children, I want to have a husband and have a wonderful life, but I face an obstacle.

I like girls too.

At first I thought I was allowing myself to be influenced by this ridiculous fad of teenage girls saying that they "swing both ways", but I've realize that isn't it. That I feel attraction to both sexes ever without having been with either.

I suppose I just can't say what I am to myself, nor my close friends or family; I fear judgement. How can't I admit this to my friends, my family, and even worse, myself? That my dreams for the future could be ruined by these awful thoughts?

I'm simply so confused.

Answer 1

Go get some counseling. You have to accept yourself before you can expect anyone else to. There's no reason you can't have everything you want out of life.

Answer 2

You are experiancing first hand why many homosexual people are more well adjusted than their strait counterparts despite teh social stigma that would imply the oppisite. Serious soul searching, introspection, and coming to terms with who, and what you are.

First - it sounds like you have passed the part about admiting to yourself that you are bi-sexual. You seem to be pretty awair of that. Cool beans.

The next part - learning to realise that what people think of you is much more a reflection of them and not so much of you - and treating the views and desires of other people accordingly is something that will come with time and age. Unfortunitly we all go through a period when we are in our teens when we are obsessed with self immage - and how other people perceive us. Part of becoming an adult (a part that is admitadly missing in many cronological adults today) is caring less about what other people think about ourselves, and more about accepting who we are. Don't let the judgement of others controll you - just remember that you will NEVER be able to please everyone, - no matter what you do - someone will ALWAYS think you are wrong. Ignore the judgement of others and be true to yourself. It soundslike you have just started down that path.

As for the 2.5 kids, station wagon, white picket fence, and MBA husband - you can still have all of that. You will be suprised at what you find as you get older. LOTS of "sedate" "boring" "prim and proper" types have fun little hobbies too. I know... I have been a part of many of them.

Just take it easy and you will be alright.

Oh - and one last thing - the way to deal with judgemental types is to act as if their poor reaction dosent effect you AT ALL - ESPECIALLY when it does. Don't ignore it - just don't let on that it bothers you. Be unfuckwithable.

Answer 3

perhaps u need to date both women and men. u don't say how old u r but i'm guessing in ur teens. if u r this age then ur still finding ur sexuality. don't be afraid just be urself and don't let others judge u, its not their opinion that counts its what matters in ur heart that counts. ask urself y u want a husband and y u want children? is this what society tells u to have? find out what u really want and who u fell most comfortable with b4 u add someone into ur life as if u r not true with them then u mustn't be true within urself. good luck

Answer 4

You are what you are................