What should I do?

Question

My husband has been watching porn online, even though I have asked him several times not to do it. Last Friday, he agreed to stop, but yesterday (Thursday) he resumed his disgusting behavior. I don’t know what to do. It’s as if he doesn’t care how I feel. I’ve been feeling very depressed today because of this. I even had to leave work early because I felt so sick to my stomach from the whole ordeal. I love him more than anything, but I don’t know what to do when he shows such blatant disregard for my feelings. Do you have any suggestions? Serious answers only, please.

To daisy5263: learn to read! I did not tell him to stop, I asked him to. He agreed to stop, but he was just lying to me. I don’t care to watch it. Just seeing what I’ve deleted from his computer disgusts me. I’ve asked him if there’s anything I do that he doesn’t like, and he says there’s nothing, other than turning up the thermostat temp.

If you have anything to say to my husband, please do so. I’m going to send him the link to this question once it’s resolved.

I tried installing McAfee parental controls to block all pornographic sites, but my husband just disabled and uninstalled the program.

Answer 1

too bad SOME guys are like that. they say "yeah, it's something all guys do.." that is not true. There are actually good healthy guys out there too.

Why doesn't he care about your feelings? A few things can be going on: Has your relationship become boring lately? Due to working too much, not having enough time for eachother etc? Because some guys reach out for that damn porn.

OR.... Maybe he is not sure enough about himself. Ladies it's not always your fault. We may think that, but it really isn't true. He may be the one that is so insecure about himself, that acts out like that.

Some people that love to watch porn so much, may be abused as a child. That can be sexually abused, OR because they don't know better, they saw their dad, older brother, family member doing it, so they really don't know better. In a way that is abuse.

he doesn't care about your feelings huh? Ok, make him understand how it feels like. When he is watching porn, make him understand it hurts your feelings, because in a way it feels like he is cheating on you. And that's not fare. How would he feel if you would have "the playgirl" at home....and would enjoy does hot bodies. Would that make him jealous, maybe you should just do that. hurt his feeling back.

OR seriously pretend you don't give a ****!!!! The more you show you care, the more he feels he is the God.....he has to chase you! Make him jealous. Go out, feel good about yourself, make time for yourself etc..... he will ask himself why you aren't that around anymore, and get insecure and afraid of loosing you!

All the luck in the world to you.

And just remember, some guys really are from another planet. they will always be weird creaters.

Answer 2

If you are looking at a healthy relationship you are definitely in the right and you are not alone. A lot of females tell me the same thing. It is a serious problem and cannot just be answered completely here. I think you need to have a serious talk with him about this behavior and why he is doing it. If there is something missing in your relationship then you both need to work on that. If there is nothing wrong with the relationship and he is the one with the problem (in my mind he has a problem regardless because he has turned to porn instead of doing healthy things) then he needs to get some help. You guys can do a lot of talking about it to understand it, you can support him and behavioral interventions can be put in place like putting blocks etc on the computer, not having so much computer time, spending time together doing healthy and fun things, no late night computer use, etc. You should talk with him not in an accusatory way as it will put him on the immediate defensive and he might close up to talking about it. I am sure he is not proud of his use but feels the need. So talk to him in an uderstanding way and try to get him to value your relationsip and what needs to be done to have a good one. Thats a tough and common problem, Good luck

Answer 3

How to avoid porn addiction on the Internet

1. Consider installing porn content filtering software( Strongly Recommend NetDog ,you can get it from www.netdogsoft.com ) on your computer. it will help to protect you from stumbling into pornography by accident, That's important.

2. Do not try to guess what the address of a Web page is. Many pornographic sites have similar addresses of respectable sites. For example www . whitehouse . com is a porn site. The real address is www. whitehouse . gov

3. Never click on Web site addresses that you receive in an unsolicited email.

4. Do not open attachments that come in email that are unsolicited.

5. Use filtered search engines or reputable directories to find the information you need.

6. Do not search for terms like girls. Think before you enter a search term.


Stick with reputable sites.
If something looks questionable, don't let curiosity get the best of you. Delete it or close the window.

Internet Porn Filter Resource:
http://www.netdogsoft.com

Answer 4

he needs counseling and an open forum so that he really express why if even in marriage he has a need for that. Is there something that is missing from the marriage as a whole, then you guys should talk about it and be honest, then you'll truly see why it's happening. If he doesn't open up to that ideal just try to talk to him and let him know how you feel. If he still doesn't listen. Let him know you see it has him being with someone else and that it is hurting the marriage.

Answer 5

I'd think you'd prefer a porn watching husband who is at home, over a husband going out to watch strippers at a strip club. why is pornography so disgusting to you? have you ever tried watching with him? i am woman and I love certain kinds of porn. he might leave you if you can't get over this *ordeal* as you call it. and since this is such an issue with you, why didn't you discuss it before you got married. everyone is different, its stupid to assume when you marry someone they will think the same way you do on every issue.

Answer 6

You married him, you should have some idea of what things he desired and turned him on.

Ask him to make you the porn star or element that he is so entranced by, you should be fully equipped and who could ask more then the real thing willing and able to do what you want.

I know it can be more complex then that: I am not married but I do know what my partners want, wanted and what I wanted, unfortunately I also know my particular desire could only be satisfied by one person and that leaves me in a dead end.

If he is in my boat it will be hard if not impossible but then you'll know and adjust to meet each other half way.

Answer 7

Men love porn, nothing else can be said about that...You have "told" him to stop.. What gives you the right to tell him to stop?

Open your mind, maybe watch some with him you just may like it also...I think you are making a big deal out of nothing, and your making yourself sick over it why?

Would you stop doing something you enjoyed doing because your husband "told" you to stop?

Answer 8

You need to explain to him how this makes you feel and ask him if there is something else that the two of you can do together to build more intimacy between the both of you. Some couples use pornography as a way to express themselves, but if that is not something you are comfortable with, then you don't need to do it. If you really feel this strongly about him not doing it, then you need to have a serious heart-to-heart talk with him about it.
Best wishes to the both of you.

Answer 9

I think you are over bossing , you should be happy that he is not eyeing outside the home and try to make you more happy . If you continue to behave in the same way , one day you will loose him for another one , better start co-opreting with him and do little adjustment with your own behavior , be pleasant and do little bit extra to keep him happy in place of arguing or cox him , if you are really love him .

Answer 10

He should consider your feelings, you could try to see if there's other forms you don't mind watching with him. Maybe not as hardcore, more softcore stuff can be more of a turn on for women. And since you're doing it for him it would be a turn on for him.