my girlfriend and i fight all the time and its really really bad.we scream and cuss and hit each other and all the while, our five year old son is there. rarely does he see it, but i know he can hear us and hes not stupid so i know he knows whats going on. i want to leave but if i do then i won't be able to take my son with me and i am scared for him because she has a serious depression problem and i am really scared for him. what the hell should i do????????
2006-07-21 19:13:54 · 26 answers · asked by jumbo j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i can't have custody because i have gone to jail for domestic violence and in the state im in once that happens then you can't get custody.i can't get her into therapy either because i have tried in the past.
2006-07-21 19:18:44 · update #1
Get help now and if that isn't possible then you need to do everything to take your child with you. It sounds like you both have anger issues so your best choice is to talk to someone together. If not your child may grow and do the same things in their relationships. He's young enough to help him, do it before it's too late.
2006-07-21 19:17:31 · answer #1 · answered by bdgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry for that. yes, it's terrible what's going on here. your son knows exactly what's going on. Kids are very smart, and pick up bad energy quickly. He will grow up acting just like the two of you, and probably won't know what a healthy relationship is supposed to be. Depends how bad you 2 are.
Ok, how long are you 2 together? Why do you fight non-stop? Ever thought of having therapy together? it can do miracles. But of course you have to support the idea 100%, both of you. If there is still love left between the two of you, isn't it worth trying? especially for your son's sake.
What do you mean you are scared of "him". Why can't you take him? If you really want to leave, can't you guys arrange something that works for the two of you.
If you are not willing to take therapy, you should split maybe. there is NO WAY it's ok to yell, curse, and hit eachother!!!! NO WAY.
Have you actually tried to sit and talk like two adults?
What you can do is also: Take a paper, and both of you just sit down, and think. Put down each others possitive and negative points. AND what you want your partner to change for you. AND what you are willing to /change for your partner. Try to do this without fighting. Actually tell each other before doing this, "Let's not fight honey".....
Also try to figuer out where all this hatred came from....Once you used to love each other enough to put that innocent baby on this planet.
good luck!
2006-07-21 19:24:35 · answer #2 · answered by KAT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fighting while your 5 yrs old son is in the house is really bad...Your son will grow up like you and he will have alot of anger inside and will become a woman hitter and have no respect for women...SO,you and your girlfriend and your son go for family
therapy...And stop the fighting before its to late for you,your son and your girlfriend...I have a question for you...Why didn't you marry your girlfriend before you became a father??IF therapy doesn't help,I would leave with your son and find a differance county to live in...To protect your son and you,I would change both first and last names...Hey, went it comes to the safey of a child,I'm all for doing what you have to do...Be safe and watch over your son...
Clowmy
2006-07-21 19:38:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to take a chance. It's not healthy for him to be with the both of you while you're constantly fighting, and it's not healthy for your son to be with a mom who is suffering from depression. Depending on her past, and if your girlfriend has been diagnosed with serious depression, then the judge may grant you (depending on your past) custody. The judge may look at the fact that you hit her during one of your fights. The judge may look at you and conclude that you're one of the reason's she's depressed. So it's hard to tell. My friend's wife was a manic depressive and he ended up getting custody of the children, so it can happen. You just have to be willing to look at both sides of the situation. The bottom line is that the two of you don't need to be together but you do need to establish some type of compromise as far as visitation whether you or she gets the child. But for your son's sake, please don't continue to hurt his heart by allowing him to see or hear the two people he loves fight.
2006-07-21 19:24:45 · answer #4 · answered by wrtrchk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy
2006-07-21 19:16:21 · answer #5 · answered by Renae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude you are such a p uss to hit the mother of your son which is also a reason WHY you don't deserve him.I think you need to leave and not worry about him he will be better off without you there.Don't go knocking his mother because she has a depression problem that's nothing,the worst problem she has is ,,,,she has an asswhole who beats on her.My father beat my mom and I'll tell you right here and now that boy will grow to hate you for that.Shame i don't know where to find you I'd like to see you hit me!
2006-07-21 19:21:45 · answer #6 · answered by jgmafb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling and therapy are good choices. Also, seek medical advice. Maybe her depression can be treated or at least controlled through medical treatment. Do something for the sake of your child. It has to be affecting him. The fact that you are asking for help is a positive sign. Keep asking.
2006-07-21 19:18:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its good that you're not selfish on your son's part but think it over for your girlfriend. before you get anything within radius to hit or ready to spit, talk to her. do you have a quite time during dinner, etc? use the time wisely and talk about the problem, and ask whats happening.
but if seriously want to leave her, let her know and your part on how you want to take your son with you.. remember to consult your family and friends as well. maybe have a gathering and sort the problem out together.
2006-07-21 19:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suggest u learn to walk away when the situation gets to the point of yelling or physical violence, if that doesn't work and she won't or can't go to "family" therapy then u will have to "accept" the court's decision about custody of your son and pray often for him if proving her unstable is not an option
2006-07-21 19:31:41 · answer #9 · answered by momatendofrope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just another proof that 99.9% of American women are depressed. Below are the usual symptopms. If your gf exibits any of these, think again:
**Anxiety, sadness or despair (constant mental basketcase and bitchy attitude)
**Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, especially failure at motherhood (you will be blamed for everything she does wrong)
**Loss of interest in usually pleasurable activities (sex stops, constant nagging starts)
**Difficulty concentrating or making decisions (similar to mentally retarded child)
**Fatigue (did nothing the whole day, yet always tired)
**Changes in appetite or sleep (becomes fat, then obese)
**Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide (completely mentally insane)
Well, in your case, DEAL WITH IT, and be ready for the divorce ***-raping.
2006-07-21 19:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋