My husband of 19 1/2 years has decided to leave. We have been separated but living together for the last months. He now is getting his own apartment. He says he doesn't want a divorce. But..he is not emotionally attached to me, says we have nothing in common, doesn't want to be with me, doesn't love me. We have 2 teenagers.
2006-07-21 18:33:47 · 15 answers · asked by chrissi0203 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
separated for 6 months
2006-07-21 18:34:13 · update #1
Separation doesn't have to mean divorce if both are willing to take steps on their own to deal with the problems in the marriage and work toward being together again. For example you might both be seeing a marriage counselor or family therapist separately, or even at times meet with the therapist as a couple although you are living apart. Honestly it doesn't sound like your husband is too interested in doing this...
best wishes.
2006-07-21 18:38:41 · answer #1 · answered by surlygurl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yes and no. Let me give you an example. My wife and I were married for 4 years. I go to Iraq on deployment and she tells me that she wants to separate. At first we were going to work it out. There is the no part of the answer, you might have a chance in working it out. Then in March she tells me that she met someone new and I should do the same. I'm now in the middle of getting a divorce and it sucks. There would be the yes. My advice, which might help might not, work it out if all possible. If not then it sounds like he is not good enough for you. You should find someone new or stay single for a bit and get your life the way you want it. Good luck with whatever comes about.
2006-07-22 01:42:32 · answer #2 · answered by stampedefocus2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually it's not the end of the marriage. Because sometimes you need space in order to get your things together, but if it's being honest with you saying he doesn't want to be with you anymore and is not emotionally attached, then you should just go ahead and get a divorce. It will just cause you more pain, if he moves out and then has women over to his apartment because he's not emotionally attached to you anymore, so I'm sure he's going to get attached to someone else.
He won't be celibate forever.
2006-07-22 01:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by MissT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously - Why do you NOT think divorce is the next step? - Why would you allow your husband to have his own apartment and not divorce you?
Being a divorced man with two children, we seperated as well. It was only a matter of time that we made it final with divorce.
As a last resort - you should demand that you both seek marital counseling.
2006-07-22 01:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat we have 5 kids under 12 years my husband was cheating on me through this last pregnancy the whole time right now he is living with her he is taking care of us I do not work I only take care of my kids. I know I have to find a job but right now I am waiting to see what will happen next. He also told me he is not attracted to me anymore he old cares for me because of the children. I am a women of faith and have been praying a lot God has given me a peace with this. I am just waiting on God to do the work I think they are is just blinded by the enemy and until we give up all our problems and emotions to God he will work in out lives at his time though not ours.
Good Luck and God Bless You I will keep you in my prayers
2006-07-22 01:44:45 · answer #5 · answered by iamasweetmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not always.BUT,the fact that he has been living with you,separated,and now wants to get his own place,leans me to think he does want a divorce.Honey,you cannot make someone love you or stay with you,no matter how bad it hurts.And I know it hurts badly.You gave him over 20 yrs of your life and then he does this?!Are you mad?Sad?Angry?You have every right to be!!I sympathize with you and will pray for you.Try to take care of yourself and your kids and concentrate on you,for a change.If he moves on,theres nothing you can do.HOPEFULLY
2006-07-22 01:44:22
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answer #6
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answered by missyandgordon 3
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After 19 years of marriage he says some **** like that. Either he has met someone else or just isn't happy. You just dont throw 19 years of marriage away. Just know that God says marriage is honorary in his eyes. So if he's putting his marriage aside for the cause of fornication, beleive me God will deal with him. Read your bible and pray. You'll be fine. You must pray to stay in sane.
2006-07-22 10:18:04 · answer #7 · answered by foxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that should be clue enough for you. i mean what is the point in dragging this on. you could be out meeting some one who is worth you instead of waiting for him. the sooner you are detatched from a selfish moron like him the better. i think the reason he does not want to divroce you is he does not want you to take him to the cleaners in divorce court. i say hit him where it hurts. dedicating your life to him and raising his two children he should treat you like royalty. i am sorry for you but keep your head up and look forward to new found freedom with someone new in your life who will love you good luck
2006-07-22 01:38:50 · answer #8 · answered by wedjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce and separation are the same thing but without the paperwork completed.
2006-07-22 01:36:14 · answer #9 · answered by Me again 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you need to get the divorce and move on with your life. You don't want your two teenagers to think this is appropriate for him to treat you this way or for you accept him treating you this way is ok.
2006-07-22 01:37:18 · answer #10 · answered by adm2576 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋