is hitting aloud?

Question

this is serious no jokes please, is it normal for your husband to choke you , throw you down on the floor, raise his fist at you ,push you hard , hit you in the arm (so far) , and tell you to go to hell or **** off? everyone ive asked says its normal fighting for a married couple what do you think?

i asked and told his parents ,,,,his mom laughed and his dad wouldnt say a word

we have 3 children so getting out of it would be hard

Answer 1

No. If you do not allow someone to touch you, then any unauthorized touching violates the law.

In your situation, every state has domestic violence laws to help prevent spousal abuse. The law works for both people in the relationship. Neither one should use violence towards the other.

Having a disagreement with your spouse/partner is normal. Maybe I am not normal, but I do not yell when I disagree with someone. I state my opinion, state the reasons for it, and then listen to the other side of the disagreement. Then I usually shrug my shoulders and ask what difference it makes in the whole scheme of life anyway. For the most part, there is nothing worth getting into a heated argument for anyway.

You need to take this very seriously. This type of behavior is extremely dangerous, potentially deadly. Your husband needs to know that the next time he lays a hand on you in anger, you will respond by having him arrested. DO NOT BAIL HIM OUT OF JAIL THE NEXT DAY. Most states bar the arrested person from going within a set distance of the other person for any reason, and they prohibit the arrested person from making any type of contact with the victim. Take full advantage of that short grace period. Think about what you want from life and if that includes becoming a battered spouse. If you have children with him, will he batter them in the future?

I suggest that you both get into counseling right away. Your husband needs anger management counseling, and you need counseling on the best way to protect yourself physically and legally. Do not wait to do this, if you do, it could be the last thing you do.


Good luck!

Will D
Enterprise AL

Answer 2

I don't know who you've been asking that says this is normal, but they must be NUTS! Choking, throwing, raising a fist is NOT normal in ANY relationship...that's ABUSE!! I've been shoved and have been told to go to hell before as well. But shoving is the farthest it has gotten..and believe me when I say there was a hefty apology afterwards and hasn't happened again. To me, shoving is a precursor to the rest of that stuff you mentioned and then some. You need to get out of the relationship..or at least separate and HE get some anger management and both in marriage counseling. You definitely need to put some distance between you two...and take the kids with YOU, cause you don't want that for your children either. If neither of those work (and most of the times, it doesn't) you need to end it and take the kids. For their safety, not to be cruel, you should have custody. And the fact that his parents said/did nothing just shows where he got the behavior from. It's obvious they see no problem with it and don't see a need to intervene; which is sad. That's when you turn to YOUR family. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

NONE OF this is normal.
You are in an abusive relationship. HIs mother laughed becasue it happened to her. and his dad was quiet because he is an abusive man.
When he is not at home get out the phone book or call 411 and get the number of a womans support group. There will be women there who will totally understand what you are going through.
Best to get away before he kills you.
Don't you watch TV and all those programs about abused women?
Most women never get hit or pushed or strangled.
What kind of people do you know who tell you that this is normal husband/wife arguments. Geesh......where do you live?
Abuse happens......but that doesn't make it right.
Get out while you can. Can you imagine what he would do to a chld if you had one.
Gather up your guts .get some self worth and esteme and get the Heck out of there.
Get a support group to help you get away free

Answer 4

Honestly...I'm not sure what's NORMAL. It's definately not right for anyone to choke you or disrespect you, but in relationships, it happens all the time. If this is a normal occurance...you really need to leave...or seek help. If he isn't willing to get counseling then LEAVE. Once it gets bad and he doesn't think he's at fault, then it will NEVER get better. However, saying words in anger is VERY normal, though extremely disrespectul and hurtful, it happens to the best of us. The ones we love are the ones that hurt us the most. It's up to you to make the decision that makes you happy. Good luck!

Answer 5

Honey, GET AWAY from this idiot now. NO it is not allowed in any way shape or form. Unless you wish to be dead earlier than you want. Some are into the hard stuff, (chains and whipping) but even that has its limits. He has a problem, and you need to get the hell out of there. Call the cops or 911 and DO NOT wait for the next one.

Answer 6

Every couple will row at some point, and maybe say something in anger... often something that you don't really mean, but the moment he put a hand on you in anger it became "assault" and it is definitely not acceptable.. maybe you can overlook a very minor case, but don't put up with anything that's actually hurting you, get out... find a safe place and call the police.. he needs stopping...

Answer 7

ok NO THIS IS NOT OKAY THIS SCUMBAG LOWLIFE SHOULD BE IN JAIL OR PREFERABLY ROASTING IN HELL OR BECOMING A GIRLFRIEND TO A GUY IN PRISON NAMED GUIDO. get your but out of that relationship go stay with family or friends and file apolice report no one under any circumstance should be abused, and this is not normal if my husband ever raised a hand to me he might wake up missing more than his hands. I have been married for 15 years and we disagree everyday but hit each other never and neither should your scumbbag.

Answer 8

NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO HIT YOU!! It is never ok! A man has no business hitting a woman! If he gets angry with you, he should have enough sense to walk away and cool off. You need to have that sorry excuse for a man arrested! If not, you're just waiting for him to put you in the hospital, or worse! Get help now! You can't afford to wait!

Answer 9

It's normal to argue NOT to fight.You are letting him abuse you physically,mentally,and emotionally.LEAVE and SAVE yourself.He will kill you.NO man who claims to love you,would EVER do this.IT is normal for married couples to argue,but by argue I mean discuss things,with maybe a slight raise of voice,or to give each other a few minutes alone to cool off.But the answer is NO!NO!NO!And if "people"you know say it is normal,well they aren't in a normal,loving relationship,either.So tell them to leave their spouses too.Good luck and please seek help at a battered women's shelter or an abuse counsel;or,or anyone who you can trust and will help you get away from this PUNK!!!!!SO FAR>>>you have over 16 answers and ALL of them are telling you no and to leave him!!!SEE???Believe us and get the he** out of there.His parents are helping him by letting him get by with it.His parents are IDIOTS too,enabling their stupid son!!!!!RUN!!!!

Answer 10

This is called a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, report it to the police and get a retraint order against him. This is not a hearthy living for you or anyone, you need to get rid of this person right now, do it now before your relative have to feel sorry about it because you might not be there to regred it.