im really loud and outgoing with friends but i cant seem to ever get myself to be that way around other people i dont know.the last time i tried to introduce my self it went terrible and i was soo embarassed!!! can you give me advice to geting myself to learn to speak to people i dont know better?
2006-07-21 17:23:12 · 12 answers · asked by nj_bigdog_jr 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
You most likely tend toward introversion. Introverts spend energy when the interact with other people and need to spend some 'alone time' to recharge. Extroverts gain energy from interacting with other people.
Interacting with a few friends is less costly than speaking to strangers because you have a base of knowledge to predict their likes and dislikes.
Give yourself time between social events to recharge, or you will 'tune out' and flub socializing with strangers. Work up a few questions that draw out other people and get them to talk. If you observe other people, observe other introverts to see what approaches they take when first meeting people - you will not ever be able to just go up and roar out the first thought in your head to a stranger - leave that to the extroverts.
2006-07-21 17:37:36 · answer #1 · answered by oohhbother 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I can tell you is, not to try so hard to be someone you are not. Being shy, reserved, and conservative is not a bad thing - it's just your personality. If you can be "normal" with your close friends, you know you are not _too_shy_ to be socially active.
You can start introducing yourself to someone with a very short phrase. Something like "Hi, I'm Amanda" or something. Then gradually make it a little longer. Try to pace yourself and say it somewhat slower, then it'll probably come out just perfect.
I personally think, many people are becoming loud, obnoxious, and carefree.
By the way, I'm probablly similar to you. I keep my introduction very short. It never stopped me from doing anything though.
2006-07-21 17:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it will develop with time, but for starters you could just try little things like saying a few extra nice things to a cashier when you're buying something, or say hello to a stranger on the street, that sort of thing. if you want to go further, maybe get a p/t job as a waitress (or start as a hostess). this helped me tremendously. it gives you positive reinforcement and encourages you to be more outgoing. it's a lot of little steps that will add up and one day you'll realize you are more outgoing.
2006-07-21 17:27:10 · answer #3 · answered by aj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u sounds just like me 6 months ago. i was the exact same way. to be rid of your shyness, it takes day to day effort. you gotta start small. when walking down the hallways of school comment to random people. it is so hard, but don't think about it. just do it. for example, one guy in the hallway got hit by a door and i said "ouch, you ok?" you don't have to stop walking and continue conversation. another time, a girl was wearing a shirt that i thought was cute so i said "cute shirt" while walking past. all this helps to break the barrier of talking to strangers. if you are desperate, just ask people if they know what time it is (regardless if you don't need to know). all this little things make you do bigger things and then you aren't as shy anymore. good luck!!!
p.s. another thing: do a lot of yahoo answers. you can respond to strangers without actually looking at them. it helps too
2006-07-21 17:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by Jugglingmidget06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first you have to tell yourself that they are only another person and don't be afraid.That you are just as important as they are for once you put yourself on their level then you won;t be afraid of them judgeing you which this is all about. Perhaps they are shy too. It would help if you took some public speaking courses to build your self confidence/
2006-07-21 17:32:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
aj's answer was on track-get in a community play or try open mic night at a comedy club-prepare first-once you tackle your greatest fears in the biggest way, the common situations are NOTHING!!!
2006-07-21 17:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by The Riddler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try taking a speech class or take a job in sales (it will force you out of your shell).
2006-07-21 17:27:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep a flask filled with tequilla in it....that always helps me.
2006-07-21 17:26:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have more self confidence
period
2006-07-21 17:26:17 · answer #9 · answered by mike jones 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be urself
2006-07-21 17:26:13 · answer #10 · answered by lovely 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋