I loved my bf. We had so much in common, you know those weird things that no one likes and understands as much you? 4 us it was dark novels, philosophy, art, David Lynch movies, the underbelly of history, food, and unheard of bands. I loved him, but I always felt like I was giving more to the realtionship than he was. He would never call to tell me something I didn't want to hear, like "I can't make it tonight"- he avoided conflict. To aviod conflict, he didn't commincate. Sometimes, he just didn't call. I was tired of being in love and always feeling left out. I'm the one who broke it up, but it was a matter of time unitl he did. We're still freinds. We have a great chemistry.
He's lives with his parents and isn't out to them. I believe that he comes from a dysfuctional home with strong catholic roots. I can understand that part him isn't mature enough to handle more than casual dating. I make exuses for him when he needs to grow some balls. But why do I still want him back?
2006-07-21 15:30:06 · 17 answers · asked by jhs80123 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It is called letting go, and it is difficult because we envision them happy with someoene else and it hurts and we want them because there are memories and there was love and may still be-but let go no matter how hard it is. It may not be the right time for the two of you either-be his friend.
2006-07-21 18:02:02 · answer #1 · answered by Wheels 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, I don't care about the best answer points. But from what I've just read in most of the previous answers for your question, I would say that you have a great conglomeration of an answer.
In the words of the song writer / musician / singer Neil Sadaka, "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" (older song, sung by him in the early 1960's, again sung by him as a remake in the mid 1970's as a slower soulful tune, and who knows ..... probably remade again in the 1990's as a reggae tune by some Caribbean upstart or urban ghetto hiphop'ster stripped of it's feeling LOL).
Is there still a friendship after falling in love and breaking up with that person?
Depends on how bad the "breaking up" hurt is, and for what reasons you broke up for in the first place.
2006-07-22 00:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by Brenda J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are lonely. Loneliness lets people settle for someone or somethings that are not good for you. It makes you think you are missing out on something or makes you fill empty or not complete. From the words you written, I see you were in love and he may not be. Trust me, a person who really wanted to do something or be with you will find a way to do it. I would say move on. Stop making excuses for him as well as for yourself. It he can't communicate now it won't get any better. Stressing yourself out over someone who cannot and will not commit will only damage your self esteem, not theirs. Kick the dust off your feet concerning this relationship and move on.
2006-07-21 22:48:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love sucks sometimes. my ex was a prick. he treated me like a piece of crap. but i still loved him. i would defend him to everyone. until i woke up, which is what, from the looks of it, your starting to do. im not gonna yell because i have been there before. ive had all the same questions. all i can do is give my opinion. think about it...how much does he actually love you if he is embarrased to be around you in front of his "people" (parents included). and when i say embarrased i mean, not comin out yet. its a waste of time and i hate seein other people go thru the hell i went through. i know this didnt help but my mind is runnin on empty. i know im a nobody but if you need anythin or wanna talk. hit me up k?
2006-07-21 22:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by JP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to make this short, Let him go. After the ending of a relationship. Your heart needs time to heal and by being with him you are not letting go and you are not healing, you are still hoping for him to come back to you. This guy will not change, they never do. Be good to yourself and be good to your soul. Or better yet as my dad says there are more fish in the sea. lol
2006-07-22 13:40:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have learnt in the past with my previous relationships that love is blind. Love does not care what the package looks like, it only cares that it loves. But we have a mind and ego that has needs in order to be happy. I have learnt that love itself is not enough to guarantee happiness in a relationship. There has to be the right compatibility, and the right qualities in the person that meets our expectations of what we want in the relationship in order to be happy.
You have two choices, either change your expectations and accept him unconditionally for who he is or take this as a lesson in knowing who you are and what makes you happy in a relationship. Use your mind a little bit more than previously to evaluate the compatibility overall for long term happiness.
2006-07-21 22:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by Amma's Child 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Past relationships are unique because even though the relationship is over your feelings can not be turned off so easily. You both shared special bond, and it is only natural to not want to let that go.
Good luck, with what ever choice you make!
2006-07-22 03:17:18 · answer #7 · answered by ak23boi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because u love him. it is soooo hard to be in a relationship with someone who isn't willing to care about your feelings. Trust me, I know from experience. I had a gf who was just like your bf. It has nothing to do with his upbringing. you need to stop making excuses for him to justify how he is treating you. My gf wouldnt communicate with me, even when I begged her, and told her that ignoring me hurt me then just telling me the truth, but she still continued to act like this. I felt she was hiding something. I say unless this guy changes how he treats you, then you can be with him because you deserve better
2006-07-23 15:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love doesn't go away quietly or quickly -- it's a long and arduous process. The only thing that will get you through is time -- and maybe some pleasant distractions.
2006-07-21 22:34:37 · answer #9 · answered by Shadycat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're still in love with him and not over him yet. You will be over him when either you or him make a firm statement that it is over and both start realizing it and find someone else
2006-07-22 01:31:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋