is my first poem in English.
2006-07-21 15:28:55 · 13 answers · asked by karlosolito 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I will die, unforeseen is not
Because the cause is unreal
Like my soul have a spot,
For the worm, I will be meat
You need wait for me
I will return someday ones
My Promise the human be
Like the once upon times
If you can believe it,
Not every day will be floppy
If not, that truly is broken it
For sure, will be totally droopy
I arise in the eternal again
Because the life perpetual is
Not matter what is the main
Or if you can see like bits
However, the thing is now here,
Moreover, the important will see
Whenever, the cause is not there
Whatever the price was get you to me
2006-07-21 15:29:29 · update #1
kinda confusing and forced but you have a great start. keep working on it.
2006-07-21 15:32:10 · answer #1 · answered by v.ball_17 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
really coming from a professional poet, it sounds particularly compelled. Do you imagine it truly is compelled? honestly it truly is an fantastically sturdy first attempt. you've the flexibility to positioned your thoughts accessible. yet is does have stretched throughout it. you purely favor to enable the words move. do no longer make some thing come out. in case you do it is going to seem as if a pen exploded throughout your web page. and ... EDIT EDIT EDIT my pricey. the foremost to a sturdy poem is numerous copies.
2016-11-25 01:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lern to rhyme u ditz! even jocks do better! i would, but youd die of jealousy! the words dont even go together! id name it a piece of crap!
Not every day will be floppy
If not, that truly is broken it
For sure, will be totally droopy
i mean, come on! read a dictionary before you try this stunt again! u could kill someone!
2006-07-21 15:33:13 · answer #3 · answered by Jake B. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it. Edit it where it sounds choppy. Learn a little something about parameters and flow and quite worrying about rhyming words. If you try to force a word to rhyme it will sound false.
You've got some good ideas here and some good images. But always do your edit before you show anybody your work.
2006-07-21 15:35:04 · answer #4 · answered by Doc Watson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a lot confusing i get the the consept. but the wordsd are dont make sence. i think you shoult learn a little more english befor try ing again. but i like your consept // e-male youre pome when you're find it out road_runner_161
2006-07-21 15:43:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty good. Some of it is a little confusing because of the wording. Over all very good!!
2006-07-21 15:32:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the worm, I will be meat!!!!
Its a bit floppy who ever said floppy pancakes ain't to bad with some syrup!
2006-07-21 15:41:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good, but a little confusing. I like the concept, and if this is your first poem in English it is damn good!
2006-07-21 15:33:09 · answer #8 · answered by newsblews361 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try reading good poetry in English before you write it.
2006-07-21 16:41:35 · answer #9 · answered by A J L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really great for ur first poem in english. keep it up folk. u are good.
2006-07-21 15:32:18 · answer #10 · answered by Blackarrow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its awesome for ur first in english, keep up the good work :)
2006-07-21 16:05:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋