I am married & hubby is away with military. I have been sleeping with a mutual friend of ours STRICTLY for the physical act. Now the guy I slept with keeps asking me if I'm ok, are we on the same page about it just being physical to help me when I feel lonely, he doesnt want to have an affair, just help me out when I need it, yet he calls me quite often. I think he may be starting to feel something more for me than just sex. Is this a correct assumption?
2006-07-21 15:23:10 · 22 answers · asked by boo boo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't have feelings for this guy, it is purely meeting my physical needs. However, I do agree that things could go wrong. My husband and this friend of ours had a conversation before he left where my husband asked him to "help me" if I needed it. My husband wont deny the conversation. We've been friends with this guy for 7yrs.
2006-07-21 15:38:05 · update #1
Yes, he is dating someone, not exclusively.
2006-07-21 15:47:56 · update #2
We are both in agreeance that if he starts getting more serious with her, he has to stop with me and I'm fine with that. He is simply filling a void that will be here for a year!
2006-07-21 15:51:21 · update #3
There's a fundamental difference in the way men and women operate. It's been documented scientifically.
It's this: Women fall in love, and then have sex.
Men have sex, and then fall in love.
It's been proven. So yes, your physical buddy is probably feeling more for you than just sex. I think this was a rash decision for you all to make. It's going to get messy. If you separate from your buddy, he is possibly going to make waves about it. It could break up both the friendship and the marriage. Rash decisions indeed.
2006-07-21 16:41:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that he does have some feelings for you starting to develop, but he could also feel that he is just trying to be a friend and look out for you since you are alone. You did say that he is a mutual friend. If you're not sure where your relationship together is going, but know where you want it to go, then maybe you need to remind him that it's just sex. It's all to easy for your feelings to become tangled in these situations. It's hard to keep feelings out of it after a while.
2006-07-21 15:32:27 · answer #2 · answered by hopeless 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not just a physical act, but obviously you haven't learned that. It involves the emotions, the psyche, the ego, and your soul and spirit. You CANNOT have sex and walk away never having it affect you.
Are you assuming correctly? Yes, you are.
You also need to assume something else and that is your husband will find out. I feel sorry for your husband (especially when he is out serving his country).
I don't know how you can think no one will judge this. You've broken your wedding vows.
2006-07-21 15:33:10 · answer #3 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why all these people are judging you. Your husband isn't there to do his husbandly duties; you found someone willing to step up while he's overseas killing people. Kudos.
About your problem...some people don't have the ability to separate sex and emotional attachment. You may have found such a person. My advice is to have a long talk with your sex partner and find out what he is really thinking. If he is getting too attached, then you should think about breaking it off for his well-being.
2006-07-21 15:40:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh No Sweetie, you have started something. Your assumption is totally correct. End it now, you don't want to ruin your marriage. And though I don't condone your actions, you're human...but end it now before this turns into a Fatal Attraction, hopefully this is not a close friend, because you know you will have to be prepared for the outcome, involving your husband.
2006-07-21 15:31:57 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad you try to find an excuse for you actions. Nothing can justify what you are doing. Your husband is out there risking his life and you're sleeping around...who cares if this other guy is feeling more for you. Maybe you two do go well together afterall you don't deserve your husband. He's too good for you!
2006-07-21 15:34:22 · answer #6 · answered by Curious_Camo_Jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out if your mutual freind is having sex else where. If he is then he shouldnt be having feelings for you. However if your his only source of sex then yuuup he's growing in the wrong direction.
Ask him if he'd be with you if he could. As in together. If he says yes, then shut it down girl and go find someone else to bang. If it's too touchy leave it alone. WHEN IN DOUBT THROW IT OUT!
2006-07-21 15:45:42 · answer #7 · answered by A man ready to commit. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People feel lonely, DEAL WITH IT. Your husband is off fighting for the rights of everyone in this country and all you can do is CHEAT? You deserve to have a plague happen to you
2006-07-21 15:36:15 · answer #8 · answered by Maxwell Smart(ypants) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-08 04:41:31 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be. It could wind up being more trouble than its worth. Just go to the toy shop and buy you a silver bullet......you wont miss sex at all after that...and it will be drama free. I hope he doesnt turn psycho and tell you husband......good luck.
2006-07-21 15:28:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋