do you ever feel its cruel that women only have a small window to have children and men don't?

Question

i mean if you have kids when you're really young
its harder to provide and if you wait until you're more established you run the risk of having problems. when do you think is the best time to start a family.

i'm not saying wait until your 40,50 and by the way i have three kids, but i have seen women 35,37 who are very successful ,but cannot conceive you're considered high risk at 35!

Answer 1

Well, theoretically, women in the mid 20's are at their optimal time to conceive with little or no problems...the older you get the more problems could arise. I was done having all my children by the time I was 26...I had no problems conceiving...no problems carrying them, no problems nursing them...it all went as natures plan. I'm grateful too for having them so young..now I'll be young enough to enjoy them more, relate to them more, and when I have grandchildren, I won't be in a nursing home!

Answer 2

I think what you are asking is a fair question, but it is a question that has many right answers and no wrong ones.

There are problems in both genders for child bearing. A womens fertility decreses as she gets older. So does a mans.

A baby is more attuned to Downs syndrome the older the parents. The incidence of Birth defects can be higher the older the couple.

I think were the "danger" lies is when the women is older than 45. Toxemia, Stroke, even death in childbirth are more common the older the women is.

Having said that, I can also say that men are no stranger to health problems after 40 years old. Most men in the 50 to 51 range expierence some health issues especially those associated with reproduction. Enlarged Prostates and so on.

Is there an even trade off? I think to an extent yes.

By the way. I have a wife who is 48 years old and pregnant.

Answer 3

Being "high risk" at 35 doesn't mean you can't conceive. Women do it all the time, I've known some of them. I understand the paradox of being able to support your family vs. having time to raise them/reduced risk factors, but both are accomplished all the time.

I don't think it's unfair that men have a longer fertility span than women, because biologically, all a man needs to do is put the sperm where it needs to be. That doesn't require a lot of work compared to carrying and delivering the baby. With the plethora of things that could go wrong during or as a result of a pregnancy, I think the "narrow" window is best for the woman's sake. Just remember, 35 is NOT the absolute cut-off date, it just means you need to be careful. And if you waited that long, chances are you're responsible enough to take care of yourself and take those precautions necessary.

Answer 4

There is no perfect timing for having a child when have that feeling of enough confidence in yourself and your abilities and financial independence (notice I did not state financial security) so that when you are finally married to the man you cannot do without, your kids will have a parent who is emotionally healthy, which is very important.

SO, what means more to you? Most people know its the people who are in your life and not the things that make life special. That being said, you want a measure of financial independence because having a large Savings account or ownign a home husband or a great Education or Career doesn't guarantee that at all, neither really does any job or wealth guarantee a life of because we don't control our future, we can only try to live our dreams!

Answer 5

Hey, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Besides, would you really want to be running after a two year old when you are in your 50s or 60s?
Also, maybe its natures way of assuring that babies and young children have proper nurturing until they can reach an age that they can take care of themselves.

Answer 6

Men DO have some fertility issues as they age. But you're right, mostly it is female.

Now, someday, it will be common practice to freeze eggs and be able to carry yourself or have a surrogate whenever you want.

I bet people will still want to have kids at the regular time, though. It's a young person's game.

Answer 7

When your married for a few years. I had my the last at 36 year old. He is in good health.

Answer 8

i think its mean that women have to go through childbirth and men dont know how it feels and theres some guys out there that thing they can do it without pain relievers or anything.

Answer 9

I would say finish school, get some secure housing and care under your belt, oh, and money, find someone you care and trust, and when you feel right, you'll know.

Answer 10

I think it's cruel that men have a window at all.