And, under what conditions, and how would you judge whether they were adhering to them or not?
2006-07-21 13:28:56 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no. once a withdrawal is made from the fidelity bank and trust, no further deposits are allowed.
2006-07-21 13:29:58 · answer #1 · answered by marabierto1961 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I foolishly did that with a marriage. I got an STD. I ended up with HPV, and caught cancer and almost died. I will never have another child, I will never be able to work again, I will live every day in pain for the rest of my shortened life because of the radiation and chemo treatments for the cancer.
Don't let him back. You deserve better. Don't do what I did. Don't trade in your future for a false peace of mind, thinking you don't want to be single again, for whatever stupid, stupid reason. There is stuff out there that can kill you if your partner brings it home. Does he hate you that much?
Think about it that way and leave. You should love you, and so should he. If he is risking your life for a quick romp with some strange, he is a fool. Fools end up with nothing. Do you want to go down with him?
If you get sick, he will leave you. He is stepping out now, he definitely won't stay when he is killing you with AIDS or HPV. He won't stick around between the outbreaks of Herpes or whatever else.
There is no condition that could ever win back my trust now. A cheater is more than a cheater, he is a liar, and abuser, an attempted murderer...
2006-07-21 13:40:20 · answer #2 · answered by nik named mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, I took my vows seriously, and honored them. She cheated, and didn't deserve my forgiveness or a second chance. I've always believed once a cheater, always a cheater. Found out after the fact, I wasn't the first guy in her life she had cheated on. And from what her sister and friends say, she's done it at least twice since we divorced.
There is no reason for cheating on someone. And as far as I am concerned, not reason to forgive them either.
The trust has been broken, and can never be fully mended. Any conditions you would set, can't be scrutinized close enough to know that they never do it again. Where there's a will, there's a way.
Once they cheat, dump them. Move on with your life. Find someone that respects and loves you enough to remain faithful, and honor thier vows. There are those of us out here.
2006-07-21 13:35:53 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is very painful and it takes a long time to get over.
If my husband was truly repentant (repentance is a U-turn, not just I'm sorry) then I would forgive him.
Forgiveness is a two party deal. The offending party has to ask for forgiveness and own their behavior. If they are truly sorry and you know in your heart that they are, then forgiveness is possible and desirable. There can be a restoration of a relationship only when both parties are involved.
If you are just forgiving them because you think you have to...and they are not repentant or really sorry, than that forgiveness is only for your benefit. It will not change the relationship and the cheating may continue. That is a deal breaker.
Ask yourself questions:
Is this a pattern of behavior?
Is your husband/wife willing to do whatever is necessary to earn your trust back?
Do you feel that he/she is truly sorry and willing to do a U-turn by not ever speaking to this woman again?
Is he/she willing to own his/her behavior and the effect that it has on you and your family?
Is there a true recognition of the damage and pain this has caused?
Follow your gut.
2006-07-21 13:43:38 · answer #4 · answered by mothertime2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think eventually I would forgive them. I think my x may have cheated on me. I never caught him and there was never any proof. We ended up breaking up b/c he didn't want to get married.
Anyway, no I could not be with them. Because it doesn't matter to me wether the person they were with initiated or looked awesome. It would be the fact that he didn't have the character and personal strength to do what he "should have done".
What if later on we were in a situation and he "didn't have the strength to do what he needed to do." Nope....At the point that someone stops respecting me and can not be loyal, I loose respect for them.
Will it hurt? OFCOURSE...will you be tempted to keep him or take him back? OFCOURSE... Will the opportunity arrise for the spouse to cheat again? OFCOURSE...Are you sure your spouse would "just say no" to the temptation? hmmmm???
2006-07-21 13:36:55 · answer #5 · answered by bluemidnightbeach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probaby not forgive...cheating is a conscious choice...it shows a complete lack of respect, courtesy, and caring for the person you're supposed to be in a relationship with...and there would always be the fear of more cheating (more cheaters repeat the behavior than not)...
I'd probably have to move on...with a heavy heart, but I don't tolerate that behavior...completely unacceptable...
2006-07-21 13:32:19 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
will it depends how long i knew him/her and if you really love him/her (yes)i wouyld take um back
but then it wont be a good relationship because you lost your trust in him/her and it wont feel the same and cheating is a big and hateful word because it can hurt your feelings and that would make you feel secure about every boy/girl friend you have and that would not be fun at all becuase you would wanna always know what they are doing or were they are going and it going to make them wanna cheat on you and who cheats on you or hurt you or do you no good but treat you wrong they will read what they sew
2006-07-21 13:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would forgive them but would not stay with them. Sorry the trust would be gone. Cheating is the ultimate of betrayal to a person.
2006-07-21 13:31:30 · answer #8 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was it a one time thing, or is this an ongoing thing. This is what I have to figure out. It would not be easy, but I would do everything I could to save my marriage. If this was something she was continuing even after being caught, then I would have no choice but to leave.
2006-07-21 13:34:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO way in my book once a cheater always a cheater. Plus the trust will be gone and if I am not what they want then I would not want to stand in their way of finding the happiness that they must be looking for
2006-07-21 13:33:56 · answer #10 · answered by mr. Bob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I caught my spouse cheating, I would file for a divorce. Why? I think in the vows it says thou shall be faithful.
2006-07-21 13:34:40 · answer #11 · answered by michelegokey2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋