about 7/8 of the time me and my boyfriend are perfect together. we're best friends, laugh at the same stuff, have a really true togetherness, but sometimes, our rows turn into the sickest, most hideous things ever, i mean really disgusting horrendous stuff, mental torture, even violence. it's always ok the next day, but it scares me that sometimes we have this truly horrendous occurences. and it's not often enough for me to say for sure that it should end, because honeslty the vast majority of the time we are wonderful together, and we've been together 5 years. what do you think?
2006-07-21 12:26:47 · 10 answers · asked by rachel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
How often would you say someone should be involved in "the sickest, most hideous things ever, i mean really disgusting horrendous stuff, mental torture, even violence",before you told them to walk away? Once is too much. You need to find away to leave, and get yourself healthy. You see the problem, but you don't seem to see how destructive it is. That happens when you are to close to the situation. At least you are putting it out in the open and acknowledging that there is a problem. I wish you luck and I hope you realize that even though it only happens once in a while, the nasty thing we say and do to each other lose there shock value and before you know it, it is a common practice to humiliate and abuse each other.
2006-07-21 12:37:41 · answer #1 · answered by eeyoreshunni 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After five years you may feel that this is it, good bad indifferent. Love doesn't have to hurt. You would think after five years that you know a person. surprises should be fun. Violence doesn't dear. You've got to get out of this relationship.
It's hard to understand when you're young. Sex as long as it's good is only 10% of a relationship 90% if it leaves you wanting.The most important thing is being comfortable with someone who would hurt himself before ever hurting you.
You deserve to be the center of a mans life not just a device for him to use until you step out of line and you see the other side.
Talk with your family, see if they agree. those that truly love you and not in that relationship always have 20/20 vision.
Good luck.
2006-07-21 19:48:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That does not sound like a healthy relationship at all. the longer you stay with a person who has violent tendencies the harder it is to leave when things get really out of hand. You say you have been with this person for 5 years now, well do you intend to marry this person,?Do you expect to have children with this person? Violence in any relationship can only mean self destruction for you and yours so you are very lucky you do not have any children to witness this as it would be setting a bad example as children are innocent they do not understand what is right and wrong.Is this an act you would like them to see.
2006-07-21 19:44:35 · answer #3 · answered by mermaiden_4_ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never seen a deal like that where the fighting got less over time without some changes in behavior patterns. Sounds as though there are problems you don't discuss because of fear or shame or who knows what. Test question. Is the fighting REALLY about big important, relationship questions? Or stuff that doesn't matter a tinker's dam?
2006-07-21 19:37:17 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has your bf ever been diagnoised with any kind of mental illiness.
Is he on any kind of medication.?? I wouldn't stick around much longer unless he gets some help wtih this. He might be schizoprenic or manic depressive. Or maybe he was raised in a family where when they got mad they over did it. He may need to work on some anger managment. I definatly wouldn't want to be
around him when he can't pull out of this. Could be dangerous.
Before you continue with this guy ask him to be evaluated.
I hate to tell you this but when we love someone we think things will get better with time, usually something like this just gets worse.
2006-07-21 19:36:59 · answer #5 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi dear, it depends on what you call 'wonderful'. It seems to me you are only mad together.sex and money does not mean true love it is what you are made of from inside out.so your boyfriend might have a bit of mental health disorder.so get him checked out.And don't think about marrying him. Because you will end up being misrable it will only become adomestic violence story in future. However, I wish good luck.
2006-07-21 20:35:24 · answer #6 · answered by Survival 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn me too its never gotten physical but the emtional abuse is nuts at times but most of the time things are all right...I honestly think after five years and you guys are still together then its all right, but ask yourself is the crappy 1/8 out weigh the other 7/8?
2006-07-24 15:36:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is tough and scary, and i would say its all okay.. except you kinda scared me with the whole 'even violence' If my bf EVER hit me, or if I was ever angry enough to hit him... i would call it off, that is dangerous grounds. Good Luck!
2006-07-21 19:31:39 · answer #8 · answered by bickeo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds normal to me. try to be thankfull that its only 1/8ths of the time and enjoy the other seven. mine seems to be about 50/50 at the minute.
2006-07-21 19:31:14 · answer #9 · answered by richard d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no im a paranoid schitzophrenic sometimes i trip but sometimes im write an\d since i hear things people try to convince im hearing things when im right too.
2006-07-21 19:31:22 · answer #10 · answered by to_retarded_4_u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋