I wrote this one a long time ago. What do you think?
Broken
You silently shattered the remaining pieces of my already fractured heart,
as i tried to collect them, they were ground to dust by the careless trampling feet of the passersby.
No amount of emotional adhesive can hold it together now.
You Blindly stripped me of my daydreaming fantacy,
haphazardly taking your big pink eraser to my thought bubble,
I was careless and didn't have a back-up file.
My pleas for you to stop fell on deaf ears,
as you smiled and nodded pretending to understand, the depth of my brokenness.
2006-07-21 12:21:11 · 7 answers · asked by cocoavanillagirl 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
Sorry "Fantasy" Thanks for the spell check
2006-07-21 13:36:50 · update #1
The poem is excellent and is hardly "cute" as one responder called it. (Note "fantasy" is how the word is spelled. )The images you create are gripping and very well give the reader a picture of what you are portraying. It sounds as though you went through a tough time and emotional distress. I hope now that all is well. Keep writing!! You have a talent!!
Good luck!!
2006-07-21 12:46:45 · answer #1 · answered by No one 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Aww, that's so sad! But I thought it was really good. It can truly describe someone's depressing feelings.
2006-07-21 19:26:26 · answer #2 · answered by Candy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in parts i can feel your pain, but in other parts with some words you use, thats where it gets lost... but really just rechange the wording in some that u express yourself and it will be a really great poem for others to feel u .....
2006-07-21 19:28:52 · answer #3 · answered by just_me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's cute. I esp. like the last line, I think every woman can relate to that.
2006-07-21 19:27:18 · answer #4 · answered by Elle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've been through something that hurt you. It's evident in your poem.
2006-07-21 19:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than cool - it's Cugat.
(sound of snapping fingers)
2006-07-21 20:15:20 · answer #6 · answered by bicpenitentary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no...sorrry, the idea is good but words like " adhesive" back-up file" etc, just don't do it for me.....sorry
2006-07-21 19:25:50 · answer #7 · answered by lf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋