Sent a sympathy card to old friend, Got a Thank You and personal note. Reply?

Question

I recently asked about sending a Sympathy Card to a man who's
wife just died.( I had an affair with him forty years ago.) Some answers were positive, some not. I took the advice of the positive. I sent the card.
I received a Thank You card with a personal note. Should I reply?
He has no idea that I have not been married for years. Again I am struggling with what is appropriate.

Answer 1

I have no idea what the correct etiquette would be in a situation like this but I think it would up to you if you reply.
Keep the note light and fairly impersonal. Try to speak to his grief concerning his wife instead of any personal relationship you had or you hope to have.
He might appreciate someone to talk to about his pain as he is suffering now. I know you might find that burdensome but most people are afraid to talk to someone who has just had a loss like this. Also, they assume that the grieving person "gets over it" in a few months. I can tell you from personal experience, that this does not happen.
Also, if you think you might be interested in him as more than a friend later on, then you will be miles ahead of anyone else because he will see you as caring and compassionate. Someone who was there for him when he needed someone.
Also, you have to be prepared for the fact that he might not answer you or he might put you off.
Just be kind and responsive to the things he tells you, even if he goes on about his wife. He is just grieving now and people who are grieving tend to be a little "out of their minds" so to speak.
Good luck, no matter what you decide.

Answer 2

From an etiquette standpoint, it is not necessary to reply. Since this is more personal, it all depends on how he worded the thank you note. Was it the standard thank you or was was it more personally directed to you?

If it was personal and he mentioned talking on the phone or getting together, then do so.

If it was a standard thank you, then wait for a few months and drop him a line (write, call, e-mail) to let him know that you are thinking of him and wanted to see how he's doing. His response will tell you all you need to know. Good luck.

Answer 3

i could say no longer till you're sending thank you enjoying cards to various others that they be conscious of...i assume a card for sympathy is a distinctive form of gesture that isnt neccesary to reciprocate...if this individual attended the viewing or funeral besides the undeniable fact which you're able to or of direction if plenty of their kinfolk or friends sent plant life or presents...additionally undergo in concepts if this individual is hurting financially or is elderly they could assume a thank you...that is less difficult to deliver one and stay away from the question and write some thing like "we savor you're heat concepts in the time of our time of greif" and its as basic as that

Answer 4

wait about a month and send another card "Thinking of you"

Answer 5

its ok 2 reply. but if u dont want old flames to reheat, keep it light. it doesnt matta if he knew u were married or not. b a good friend. thats all(if that wat u want!). Good-luck!