What if your mother in-law tells you that her daughter told her that we had sex before marriage?

Question

She said she only remembers one time,and then we deceided to wait until marriage.In fact it was around 57 to 57 1/2.Should I be hurt(my wife and I used to party but we did not get THAT high I remember ever time)or did she not want to tell her mother the truth?Her mother said she is telling the truth and has no reason to lie.I haven't spoken to my wife yet.WHAT SHOULD I SAY????My skin is starting to crawl.Dr. Phil please do not respond.

Answer 1

XXXXXXXXXX How dare her mother get into your sexual business in the first place. My mother in law has more respect for me and her son than to ask questions of this sort. I would discuss this with my wife but leave her mom out of your business. That's getting a bit too close for comfort. XXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 2

Maybe your mother-in-law is old school but the fact remains that there comes a time when she is going to have to get over some things. Your wife just doesn't want to have to be judged. Doesn't really matter what she told her mother, you don't need to answer for that. She probably should declined to answer the question but maybe she was "mother cornered". Talk to your wife, don't be hurt, she wasn't trying to betray you. Of COURSE she remembers that you made love more than once, that can't even be an issue. She just didn't want to hear it from her mom. The mom-in-law is probably fishing to see if you will rat out her daughter.

Answer 3

Oh my god, what the heck difference does it make? You are married - so what if you had sex before marriage.....who hasn't?!

I assume you are old enough to be married which mean you are of majority and mature enough to know that this DOES NOT matter!

My own mother told me that the reason she cannot remember the exact date of their anniversary is because they had sex three days BEFORE they got married and she considers that the moment they were married - not the legal ceremony. She was soooo embarrassed to tell me and I thought it very sweet.

So tell your wife and laugh about it together. Go to your mother-in-law and tell her it really doesn't matter does it? You are married and that is all that matters now.

As for the sister-in-law don't even broach the subject with her. Poor girl must not have a life of her own.

Go forth - have sex and be happily married forever!

Answer 4

ummmm your grown, your married.. so why do u care what your in law thinks?? Please remember that your in law was once young and im sure she's not a pure as she'd like everyone to believe.. What should u say???? Say that your sex life is something u dont discuss with anyone other then your wife.. and leave it at that.. no dont be hurt, she probably got into a conversation that she herself didnt necessarily want to be in, and felt that the less her mom knows the better so she admitted to sex prior to the marriage but didnt feel to need to go into detail about how many times ect.. And maybe she denied it (your wife), and your mother in law is trying to trick u into finding out what the real answer is.. But its none of her concern, u both got married, u werent just having sex to have sex and then dropped each other.. u went on to make a lasting commitment.. so id tell your mother in law to basically , politely to butt out.. which is why i said to tell her " that you only discuss your sex life with your wife" 1. that shuts her up fast.. 2. u dont get into a discussion with her about your personal life.. and 3 . your respecting ur personal life by not discussing it .. so in all accounts u come out smelling like a rose.. (oh one last thing, mothers and daughters tend to talk to each other just about everything if they have a really good relationship, its not like a boy trying to talk to his mother about sex.. where u feel embarrassed ect.. so dont be upset with your wife, just be upset that your mother-in-law would try to corner u with such a topic)

Answer 5

I think you're making this into a bigger issue than it needs to be. It sounds like your mother in law does not approve of A)sex before marriage; B) You (we don't have all the context, so bear with me on some speculation); or C) having sex for any purpose other than the procreation of life. Just talk to your wife and let her know that your mother in law approached you with this issue and make sure you go along with your wife if you'd like to see 58. Good luck.

Answer 6

I think Mama just wants to start some drama. I mean really, if your wife only remembers having sex with you one time out of 57-571/2 (*cough*) then I don't think she would remember most of the relationship prior to marriage. In other words, she wouldn't have married you at all.

Just ask her if she talked to her mom about the incident...

Oh and if she really only remembers having sex one time, hope it was really good.

Answer 7

Sounds like your mother-in-law is trying to play some tricks on you. What if she's lying about your wife telling her that you guys had sex before marriage just so you could fess up and tell her what really happened? What if your wife didn't say anything to her really? It's a trap!

Answer 8

Dude, no one EVER wants to admit to their mom that they are getting laid out of wedlock. Especially if that person's mom is old fashion.

I was swinging from the rafters as soon as I left home. You think my parents know that? Hell no. Till the day my Dad died, he never had any idea that I had been another man's bed.

You wife is simply giving your mother-in-law the image that she needs in order to be happy. Let you MIL be blissfully ignorant and be happy she does not know the truth. She might just come after you for defiling her pure as snow daughter.

Answer 9

"what if" is the question?
think... am i sweating the small stuff?
are you bragging or complaining?
if you love your wife, then it's not all that bad if you had sex before you tied the knot,
it's the year 2006, right?
or are you upset because she didn't say you did it 57 1/2 times before you got married?
your question is not clear.

Answer 10

You should not say anything. Your wife was probably not wanting to tell her mom that she did it that many times before marriage because it was important for her mother to think her daughter was pure.