Once during sex, my husband asked if I would consider having sex with a female. My answer was NO WAY. I told him that I would participate in TALKING out his sexual fantasy during sex but would never actually do it. How would you respond if your husband asked you this? Should I have been offended?
2006-07-21 11:22:51 · 28 answers · asked by Melm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Depends was he serious or just "dirty talking" if he was serious id tell him sorry im not going to ever approve of either one of us cheating so u can get your jollies from it.. and if he was just "dirty talking" then as long as u have no problems with it staying in fantasy land i dont think its a bad thing.. as long as he is full aware that, thats as far as it goes..
2006-07-21 11:39:48 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is a very common fantasy. Since men are visual they get off on what they see, the same way they like to look at different women in magazines, or even on the street. Rarely if ever, does it mean that your man actually wants another woman. As for asking you during sex, it was probably only because at that moment he was aroused and uninhibited. Since you are reasonable enough to talk to him about his fantasy that is a good alternative. You should never be made to feel like you have to full-fill this fantasy in reality. The best thing to do is just tell him (away from the bedroom) that you appreciate his honesty in sharing the fantasy with you, but you do not want to make it come true.
2006-07-21 18:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by All I Hear Is Blah Blah Blah... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was only a question during sex. You sound like a reasonably open-minded person that is willing to discuss his fantasy. But remember, it is probably only a fantasy. He may just want to see what your answer would be. It has been my experience, that even when our spouses ask us questions such as the one your husband asked you, they are only ASKING. Part of the fantasy may just be that he wanted to gauge your response and have you open up to him regarding your own fantasies. Do just what you said and talk about it. His fantasy does not have to be your fantasy or vis-versa.
2006-07-21 18:42:40 · answer #3 · answered by MsET 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have been offended. He asked you a polite question, you answered it. I think it's cool that you're willing to spin sexual fantasies about this for him during sex, and I'm sure he appreciates you for it.
As for whether you should actually do it (which you didn't explicitly ask), that's up to you. Many primarily heterosexual women are also somewhat sexually attracted to other women, others are not. If you are, if done right (i.e. without anyone's feelings getting hurt and without damaging your relationship, which is of course the tricky part) this could be a great opportunity to explore your interest. If you're not, you certainly shouldn't do it just to please him.
2006-07-21 18:37:52 · answer #4 · answered by Roger D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a fantasy for a lot of guys. Most fantasies in a persons mind play out in a specific direction though and don't always happen how we want in real life. For example, your husband could be very excited that you agreed and during the action everything is going great for him until he realizes that you are making noises and moving in ways that he's never seen or been able to invoke from you himself. That could be very damaging to his ego :).
2006-07-21 18:33:44 · answer #5 · answered by Windseeker_1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you two should talk about why would there be a need for a thrid person and if your comfortable with the idea of more then just the two of you. You shouldn't have been offended though because wasn't asking for permission to find some one else he just likes the idea of you and another. Plus if he bugs you to much ask if he would have sex with another man that might get him to leave you alone for a while if you need to.
2006-07-21 18:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
During sex yes I would be offended because I would be wondering if my husband was thinking of my with someone else while we were making love. Just let him know how this made you feel and explain to him that you are willing to discuss this matter just not during sex.
2006-07-21 18:28:12 · answer #7 · answered by 4X4 Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should be offended. He's a man and what turns you on more than that. I think it's a good idea to talk about it but if your not comfortable with it then don't act it out. I would though. As long as the whole process is about us and not the other male or female involved.
2006-07-21 18:28:19 · answer #8 · answered by suprise 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never be offended in your marriage, even when the opportunity presents itself. You know that people think all kinds of thoughts and sometims they consider actin them out. That was one of those fleetin thoughts, and he should treat it as such, unfortunately the fact that he asked gives you a reason ot be insecure and wonder if he's out there trying minage with other women...don't worry about it, just let him know that you're not interested in that but you are willin to be kinky in other ways. In fact maybe you should get unpreditable on him because clearly, he's bored.
2006-07-21 18:29:45 · answer #9 · answered by strong_beautifulqueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
number one is that both are married and commited for each other making love sex only between two of you.. and Yeah yous hould be sooo pissed off not offended.. You should tell him you know if you thinking about that you should find other woman and you really hurt me. I married you because i love you and only have sex with you. not share with no one.
Me made love my wife there no way i ever asked her to want to have sex with female.. no way... she is my and i am her that is simple is that becsue we got married because we are together no one else.
Your husband disrespect you and ask you... you should not have sex with him for days until he learn not to day that. He know what marriage means and now this? sad.
If my wife tells me that want have sex with woman and I will be so piss and say why you think that and what wrong with me and you??? if you not happy being with sex with me or what ever? whymarried me??? first place?? damn....
You told him clearly message NO WAY if he asked again tell him this:
You need to respect that and I need you to stop doing that and I am not going to have sex with no women or men for you .... I married you because i rather to share wtih you. If you don't want me at all because i made your day end of the world and you can find someone else not me... I will not do it and you need to respect that..
2006-07-21 19:05:46 · answer #10 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get offended, it is a fantasy, it's good that he was able to ask you, even if your answer was no, that means he can share with you his fantasies, you are his wife after all.
Remember, you do not have to make all of his fantasies come true, but you can share them all.
keep having fun girl.
2006-07-21 18:39:51 · answer #11 · answered by MATADOR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋