OK all you 30 somethings; I have a question.?

Question

I'm 31, 2 kids, been married 12 years. Around 29 it hit me that I wasnt happy with my life and no one was going to change it but me. I have an awesome job, two really great kids, and a shitty marriage. I have no problems with the way I look; I get complimented frequently; but I still cant put my finger on whats missing. I want my 30's to be great but feel like I have to do a lot of soul searching, and be brutally honest with myself and others to figure things out. I guess my point is I should be happy but I'm not. I dont want to look back on life at 40 or 50 and think, damn I wasted alot of time. Is it just my age? Does anyone else feel like the lightbulb has just came on and you have to figure yourself out?

Answer 1

This can happen. I'm not in my 30's but I've been through them already. Sounds like you have a pretty good life. What is it in your marriage that is "shitty?" I think your problem lies there. Seek counseling and see if it can be repaired. Do it now, don't waste too much time, then you'll find yourself wondering, what if. Counseling will help you sort out your feelings and find out what it is your missing and what you really want. Take it from me. Been there, done that.

Answer 2

What a stupid remark above, the single asserting you have been sixteen whilst she grew to become into 4. think of roughly it - once you would be 178 she will have the skill to be 166. not lots distinction then! Age would not rely one bit. She is eighteen, she might desire to comprehend what she is doing and as long as her demons are pleased with it ( :p ) then what the heck. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that, for it to final it particularly is have been given to be greater advantageous than you being a shining white knight, fixing all her problems. That degree won't be ready to ever final in a good courting. She's have been given to make a contribution on your existence besides. in spite of this, you probable understand this and that's in simple terms area of a level on your courting. enable's settle for it, what 30 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous would not pass up the possibility of a courting with a youthful, pert, .... Am combating there for a cold bathe! heavily, good success, the actual incontrovertible fact which you quit to ask a question like this proves you're a good and considerate bloke.

Answer 3

No, theres nothing wrong with you at all. I felt the same way after i divorced my husband. He was all I knew. I had to start dating over and it was hard. I to had to do crucial soul searching, stop justifying and making excuses, in order to figure out who I was as a person. It took a long time to do it. It's even hard trying to do it and dating. Sorry the two don't go together. All I can say is this tho - No matter how long it take you to get to that peaceful stage in your life....When you get there you will instantly know you are there. Life is gonna be so sweet to the taste. As your children get older you will understand why it was so important to go through what you did. Life repeats itself. It also tells a story. Pay attention to the steps you make. Make sure those steps you make are for your peace and happiness. You are truely blessed.

Answer 4

So, if you love your kids and your job and yourself, then the problem must be your marriage. I don't know what anyone else thinks, but to me, nothing is permanent. Life is WAY too short to be unhappy. It doesn't sound like it's just your age or whatever, it sounds like you are unhappy. Get out of it. You're definitely not too old to find someone who will treat you right. I know what you mean about figuring yourself out, fortunately I have. I waited until I was 30 to get married, to make SURE. And so far so good. Good luck!

Answer 5

Wow... I thought I was the only one going through this right now!!

I wish I could give you an answer, but I'm trying to sort this out myself... so perahps this is more common than you or I believe it to be.

I know that were I thought I'd be at this age and where I am are two different places and I'm not sure how to bridge the gap, or if I even want to anymore.

I sincerely wish you all the best and I hope you figure out what you're missing or searching for!

Aloha!!!

Answer 6

Only you can make yourself happy.if your not ask why? do some deep honest soul searching and find out what is wrong. this may be why your marraige is shi--y. you are feeling this way. soul searching can resolve alot things, it is healthy to cleanse your mind. or go out and buy yourself and your wife a brand new HARLEY and ride the wind, enjoy your time together. You have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. It's fun to ride together. only you can decide. good luck in your search of happiness.

Answer 7

Didn't you just say that you're doing this already? "I dont want to look back on life at 40 or 50 and think, damn I wasted alot of time."
Sorry, at 43 I've probably lost my marbles by now and have missed the point?

Answer 8

I just got divorce it will be yr for me this Nov I have no kids but I was in a lousy marriage and let me tell you the freedom and happiness I am feeling I am happily divorce sure I was sad the marriage ended but after 9 yrs of no sex and emotinal abuse I am sorry but I had to go and no regrets just hope and happiness

good luck to you

Answer 9

Sounds like you need to examine your marriage. I'll bet you and your husband don't talk. Tell him how you feel, and ask him how he feels... maybe some of the fault is yours. If the thing that's missing can't be fixed... try a counselor... if that doesn't work, you're probably out of luck! Personally, I'd rather regret what I didn't do, than what I did do!!

Answer 10

I am 31 with two kids a great job, a good body, and i am going thru the exact same thing. I would also like some insite.