after bad things happening how do you start to enjoy life again ?

Question

my best friend and dad died within 3 months of each other and my head is still full of anger.how do i start accepting and getting rid of the hurt and anger i feel deep inside myself.it has been over a year since it happened and i want to start enjoying life again.nice answers only please.

Answer 1

You would definitely benefit from grievance counselling. They will know exactly how to help you. If you don't want to go for counselling, buy a book on the subject. Read it and be honest with yourself about how you feel. You have to deal with the hurt and anger inside of you.

Once you are ready - start facing each day one day at a time. Do things that YOU like to do. You may want to avoid situations that remind you of your father and friend.

Don't feel bad about having fun and enjoying life again. It is exactly what your loved ones would want for you.

Remember - they no longer have to deal with any sort of pain or problems and don't want you to.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

It sounds like you have had a tough year... I'm trully sorry for you for that. It is ssooo difficult to lose a person you love, let alone 2 of them. It is hard to get over this, I know personally but I'm sure they would not want you to grief yourself to death or be anger.
Have you tried any counseling or just talking out your feelings with someone you trust? Sometimes it helps to relieve some of the anger, if you can just talk it out.
I don't know how you feel about God but the worst times in my life have been eased by knowing and accepting God's love. Pray and give all you anger to God.
Start a new llife. I know, easier said than done but it can happen, if you lett it. Find the things you love and the things you want to do and surround yourself with them everyday.
The pain of losing someone never totally goes away but it will lessen, only if you let it.

Answer 3

Talk with a professional....That could be a head start on the road to contentment and happiness...It is very sad that the lives of two people you cared dearly about were taken....especially being in such short time of each other - But our cards are laid out the way they were meant to be...though it isn't always what we want or hope for....It's part of our maker's plan...and that's probably how it was meant to be...But, please remember....you are still here to live your life. I've always liked the saying "Live Every Day As If It Were Your Last" I lost my best friend a long time ago...when we were almost 17. I was with her when her life was taken. Not easy to get over....I know by experience...I also know that she would want me to be happy. I've not lost a parent yet....But, I will and I know it won't be easy. Not really looking forward to the day... Then of course, who does...right.

Well, Hope I helped you some.

Answer 4

My entire family Mum, Nan, Grandad, Aunts were all wiped out in a 6 month period when I was just 6 yrs old. Just leaving myself & my older sister who was ten at the time. We were put up for foster care.

I'm now 28 with my own daughter and nieces a new family!!
If there is anything I've learned from loosing those so close it's learning to be able to look for good in everything.

I no it sounds strange but after years of hating the ones I'd lost for leaving me, then those who were trying to do there best for me, I also hated myself and being me.

All I can say is anger, hate any negative feelings you carry can only make life and whats happened harder to deal with and as long as you keep it up you can't move forward. I say move forward as you will never move on. You don't want to forget just learn to be without that person around in body.

I was 17 before my psyciatrist said if you have things you need to say but have no one you want to say them to, I mean deep thoughts that people may judge you on then say them to the people there about.

I sat and wrote to my mum a proper letter laid out like it was going to be posted and in there I said evey emotion I needed to share. I asked the questions only she could answer. I sobbed while writing from start to end. Then put it in a sealed envelope away where no one would find it.

I wrote her three letters over the years and when I moved not long ago I found them and read them. I have now moved forward as standing still just hurt me i realised. But years on reading the words I wrote and remembering the emotions I carried for so long. I can now see just what writing those letters did. We all hold back when speaking to people as we no we can be judged but by writing those letters I let out every emotion good and bad.

This may not work for you but I hope you will try as I thought it was a silly idea when he told me to do it. I'm not going to say the obvious "time is a good healer" and all that cos we no that. But I will say everytime I feel emotional or depressed and sorry for myself I think what would my mum be wanting me to do. Sit here crying in a mess or making the most of the time she never had with me. Do what you think will make them smile if there up there watching. It makes life a easy place to be at a time so bad.

I hope your pain eases and you can move forward.
Take care

Answer 5

Life is the most complex thing that can happen to us, isn't it. I have just lost my mum of 86 ... she was my rock when my wife became seriously ill and yes, her death leaves a void. There are certain things that I tell myself to deal with the bad things .....
* LIfe is finite, we all die somehow ... some sadly too young but life is the price we pay for life. Sometimes bad things happen, that's simply a law of nature
* Your anger is entirely negative and entirely within yourself and sourced by yourself. Give yourself permission to let it go. It is the right thing, simply be aware of it
* Sure the world is full of bad things but also full of beauty as well. And it's there in abundance. Again, give yourself permission to see the beauty, laugh again, smile again ........
* Most important ..... celebrate the lives of both your dad and your friend. They were both special so it is vital that you recognise their death by celebration for their part in this world. They would both love you for it and want you to hear and see you celebrate! IT will make you feel so much better! Hope this helps ......

Answer 6

Time is a good healer but some times you don't get over it.Both my parents has passed away and when I meet new people and they ask me about it and I just tell them I don't want to talk about it because it will be like scratching open an old wound and it hurts for long.You need to find a very good friend who you can share things with and trust then talk about it.It will be difficult but it does help.I kept my problems in too long and now I can't get it out,so don't let it happen to you!

Answer 7

Hi sweetheart, You have been through a terrible time and it will take time to get over it. Try to remember all the brilliant times you had with your father and friend, think of how lucky you were to have them in your life even if it wasnt forever. Talk to friends or maybe a berevement councilor.
You will never forget them but you have to re learn how to live life without them being around. Maybe try a new hobby or have a night out - take things slowly. I wish you all the luck in the world - email if you need to chat xxx

Answer 8

You have grieved enough. You are in a circle and you will not find it easy waiting for it to go away with time. The best you can do is remember how lucky you were having them around, and change what you can in your life. People have associations when they do the same things, and see the same things, with the experience and memories that they had at the time. If you manage to find something new to interest you, you will learn how to cope.

Answer 9

I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Aren't people wonderful in a crisis??

I too lost a dear friend earlier this year - she committed suicide.
I miss her daily and often have quiet times just to sit and cry.

I went to see a councillor and talked and talked until I couldn't talk anymore - believe me it helped.

I was so angry with my friend for what she did. I was so angry with myself because I felt I hadn't been there for her.

It is getting easier and I know it will for you. Be strong.
Your Father and friend would want you to be strong.

Take the advice of others on this site. It's good advice.

You are the most important person at the moment.
You are responsible for your life and happiness.
Please keep strong.
Don't isolate yourself. Join a dance club, or a sports club - keep active, go for long walks - it helps.

Good luck.

Answer 10

I'm guessing you are from Louisiana too(Saints fan) Yes this has happened to me and I was completely hurt. I fixed his computer for him, we had sex and he told me I was not good enough and if we stayed together he would have sex with other women. Now his laptop is broke and his broke tell cant even afford another one. I still have his files from where I had to put them on a external drive to format the hard drive and he is gonna need em but I might not give um cuz yes karma is a *****. You may feel for him cuz yall are friends still, but I dont think feelings are still there, you are just happy to see him hurt which is wrong but oh well its life.