Men and Women what do you think of this?

Question

A friend of the family passed away recently she was married to the same man for 30 years.. she has been gone 4 months and he is getting ready to marry someone else.. I was told that she has stopped taking her medication 2 months prior to her death because her husband was already having an affair with this woman. Her husband is minister. Personally i hope he burns in hell and can not find anything nice to say to him so i advoid speaking to him however my husband who is realted to the deceased wife of this man still speaks to him he brought all of the lady's stuff to my house so my husband could put it up. If i say anything to this man what should i say? I feel my husband shouldn't speak to him either and i want to tell him what a piece of **** he is . What do you think?

i do know for a fact she hasn't been dead 4 months and he is marrying another woman so do not ask me to give him pity he will never recieve any from me.

This woman was like a mother to me.. and my husband isn't happy about the situation either but he is more laid back then i am... He doesn't have his own church due to an earlier affair...

lol your all entitled to what you think but so far the advice has not really helped any.. I choose not to say anything to him out of respect for my husband as far as respect for my deceased friend i feel by not saying anything i am disrespecting her.. God will pass judgment on him but it doesn't mean i will nto judge him in my own way

My grandmother has never even dated and her husband has been gone for 15 years .. As far as all the bible thumpers who have responded... u know what i might burn in hell but it will not be for being a biggot this is what most church people are like so before u waste ur time preaching to me stop to think i do not care about your relgion im happy u got it but keep it to yourself because in my experience this mans behavior is normal of bible thumpers

So far there is only one anwser that even consitutes anything but preaching... i thought this area was for advice.. not for people to psuh thier relgious beliefs..

Answer 1

Hmmmm, I find it interesting that almost everyone answered similarly. I usually think it is best to stay out of people's business but at the same time the fact that we don't get involved in society etc, everything is going downhill. Dirtbags could beat up some innocent handicapped person right in front of a group of people and no one would help. It's a pretty sad statement of our society. Other cultures get involved and they end up having less crime and less sociopaths. And that is substantiated with actual reseach. We have almost 10 x the number of sociopaths in our country compared to Asian countries as an example. It is probably due to the lack of bonding, family involvement, general societal concern, etc. What happened to the good old days when an experienced caring adult could correct a younger person, nowadays a younger person is going to beat up an older one just cause they can! I think you should talk to this man, not jump to any conclusions but let him know what you are thinking. I think if your assumptions turn out to be correct you should let him know what you think of his actions in a respectful manner. Maybe if we did that more often, people would be ashamed and think twice before doing unscrupulous stuff. Good luck

Answer 2

I think you should keep your opinions to yourself. No one knows what was going on in that household. You were told that she stopped taking her medication because he was having an affair with this woman. Does that make any sense? Why would you listen to gossip, because that's exactly what it is. I can understand your feelings toward this situation as it's only been 4 months since his wife passed, but that is his business and he will have to answer to God some day if he is doing something wrong. But that is for only God to judge, not you or anyone else.

Answer 3

It's all hearsay. You have no "proof" of what you've heard. It seems to me that you are reacting based on the fact that he is getting ready to re-marry so soon after his wife's death. Coupled with the fact that he's "a man of God" makes this even harder to swallow. You could confront this man and tell him you are "having a difficult time with the rumors you have been hearing". That would give you a segway into the conversation. He can refute what you have heard, or shed some light onto what may have been going on in his marriage. Either way will he be upfront and honest? You would hope so, however would you believe anything that he does share? Does this man owe you any explanation? It is difficult to put judgment aside, believe me I struggle myself. As for your husband...he's entitled to his own opinions, his own way of dealing with the situation, and to impose on him what "you think he should do" is not fair to him. After all your relationships belong to you as do his to him. You can only conduct yourself in a way that feels right to you. Remember that we can only control ourselves, not anyone else. Good luck!

Answer 4

The deceased and spouse may have had an agreement on him not being alone, you cant base what you think you know on hear-say. If he is happy, let him be. It is probably very difficult to be alone after being with the same person for 30 years. You shouldnt say you wish he would burn in hell, thats not for you to judge! You could possibly see him there if you dont forgive and forget! Maybe the best thing to do is talk to him face to face, and tell him how you feel. The worst thing is he will tell you to butt out, and thats probably the best thing for you to do! Dont be bitter toward your husband for speaking to them, just be sweet, and be there for support if need be. Better yet PRAY about it, that could be the best thing for you and your family! Put yourself in his shoes, and see how you would feel about this! It may surprise you!

Answer 5

have you even considered that maybe he was lonely in his marriage...30 yrs is a long time to be with someone. At least he stayed with her clear to the end, like he promised when they first got married. you might not agree to how he is handling the loss of his wife...but, that really isn't any of your business. you handle it your way and let him deal with it his way.

if her death was expected..like to a major illness...than maybe those 2 already had a talk about him moving on. or maybe he already dealt with his wife's death and so no need to keep crying over her.

like i said, 30 yrs is a long time to be married and he done his job while she was alive....now leave the guy alone and let him live his own life and you live yours

Answer 6

I think whoever told you she stopped taking her medication is a big mouthed busy body and I think you need something to do other than listen to gossip. You are being mean to someone based on something that you don't know for a fact is true. Shame on you!

Answer 7

Listen, I know it's hard, but there are allways two sides to every story, and most the time when we think we know whats going on we only have a small bit of it right. Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel, but dont let it eat at you.

Answer 8

Say nothing out of respect for the deceased woman. As for him you have no authority whatsoever to reprimand him or tell him what to do, it's out of question. His whereabouts in the second life is for God almighty to decide and no one else of us mortals.

Answer 9

I think you should just let him go on with his live. Be cause someone up there you know what I mine All in go time he'll get what's just like they say no bad deed go unpunished he'll get his

Answer 10

DONT GO TO HIS CHURCH, AND REMEMBER YOU MAY NOT KNOW ALL THE FACTS,BUT DONT SPEAK TO HIM IF YOU DONT WANT TO. LET HUBBY MAKE HIS OWN DECISION