Marriage...when do you do it?

Question

I have lived w/my bf for 2 years. I dont feel old enough to be married, but alot of people in my replies keep saying "marriage marriage marriage".

I am only 20... he is 25 but hes not grown up enough to get married. And if we were to get married theres alot of things that need to change.

Isn't 20 too early? Or just for marriage and not for engagement. His mother WANTS US to get married. Shes said it repeatedly but I never though of it as an option.

Whats the earliest age to get engaged. Don't give me the typical "when you think you're ready"

Because we aren't. But if we were to be... if he decided he was...

Does it really make men more commited? People have said that too. How many years is too long to be engaged? If we got engaged (it would be a group decision) we still wouldn't get married for about 3 years... when we have money.

Ughs, replies would be appreciated :0

What about promise rings? Shouldn't men do this and not the womyn say HEY blah blah...

Answer 1

If you are living together, then aren't you already living life as a married couple anyway? The only thing that would change is the "contract" that you have with each other. What I'm not understanding is, if you are already living together and acting like a married couple, then what is the difference if you actually are married? Marriage makes the arrangement legal before God and men. You both obviously are ready to be married if you are living together otherwise you would just be "dating" and not living together.

You might want to check your state laws on cohabitation (living together without a marriage license) since in some places it is still a misdemeanor.

Answer 2

It would be much better to get engaged, since you are not ready to get married. And then get the money. Actually, the best thing to do is to let it go as it is now, since you don't sound too ready for the next step. Don't do what other people push you to do. His mother probably wants grand kids ASAP, but that's none of your business. Don't do it under pressure. If you are thinking this much about it, then it's probably too early, and shouldn't be done. Talk to your bf about it, how does he feel? As long as both of you are happy with the way things are (or happy enough), don't rush into it. It can always be too early to get married, but it's never too late.

Answer 3

I see you have asked several questions on here, I think you are really confused about your relationship with your boyfriend. And yes, 20 is too young to get married. I did and we are now divorced. Look, your young, you need to be going out, hanging with friends, (I saw that question too) and partying, and having a good time and meeting different guys. This guy is not the one. If he were you would know it and you would be happy. You need to meet other people, I wish I had when I was your age, but my bf wouldnt let me either, then I married him, had his kid, and got divorced. Man it sucks being tied to someone for 18 years that you now hate! you need to find someone that you are 100% sure about, and everything clicks with you, and no jealousy, take it from someone who has been where you are. It took a long time for me to find the perfect guy, it took 20 yrs and two failed marriages. Do not marry this guy! It will be a hughe mistake!

Answer 4

I know this isn't the response you want, but DO NOT (EVER!!!) let somebody else make the decision of who/when you marry for you. You will regret it for the rest of your life.

There has to be that moment in your life when it suddenly clicks, and you realize that you don't want to continue living your life without this guy permanently in your life.

There are a couple good books out there (with titles like "1001 Questions to ask before you get married" just look it up on Amazon.com) that you can go over with your boyfriend and see if you are both ready for marriage.

I applaud you for not marrying until you have the money to do so. So many poor families bringing children into the world that they cannot support, it's nice to see somebody thinking straight.

Answer 5

well my answer don't get into a marriage....


because if you are not really sure dint do it ...it will be a bad chose tell me...i was there...first i live with him i was just 18 everyone said get married, get married all the time.....so then after like 5 to 6 months we got married i was not sure to get into a marriage i was not old enough be in the kind of relationship....so after one year everything was bad......all that year were fights all day ....... one thing and other he never was not mature to be in a marriage.....so now i am divorce i am so happy that i am ......i dint have to be argue with no body.....



so decide if is that what you really want to do...
is a very important decision for you....
so think about it

Answer 6

You say neither of you are old enough to be married, but
you are old enough to move in together and play house?
The difference is committment, some people say it's only a peice of paper, well it may be, but that peice of paper is
a committment, sure you may have a committment now, but marriage is a much stronger committment !!!!! I don't
think either one of you is ready to be married or live together, those are good excuses, your age, when you can afford it and all that. You've been living together for 2 years and you aren't even engaged?

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with getting engaged and then just saying you are planning on a long engagement and don't set the date yet. If someone asks why, you can just say you both have so finalize some things that will affect your future so you have to do that before you can set a date and begin planning.

Answer 8

Hey girl if he;s not ready and you arent either, then dont do it
you're both lying to yourselves. Also do get married "just because" other people are telling you its a great idea and its about time. NO! if you dont feel its the right time then dont put pressure on yourself to make others happy. You gotta make yourself happy and thats all that counts. so if you're happy about getting married to your B/F then go ahead if not then dont push the issue.
Also discuss it w/ your b/f. communication is the key!
good luck girl

Answer 9

Marry at 25, That is the best age for you. You have to experience several quearells and if you sure that he is not insulting or hurting you when he is angry, you may marry him.
Also be sure that he has job and you have job and good place for living and a car. And be sure that he is not cheating you.
Also you are not wise enough because you are 20. Please do not marry now!

Answer 10

I don't think u should rush into marriage. If other people ask is just to pressure you guys or put him on the spot..give him time to mature if things are going well. Sometimes when parents butt in it just makes it worse so tell his mom to back off.