i lost my baby last November by stillborn there was nothing wrong with her and now iam in a law suit againist my doctor and its seems like everybody thinks that it's nice for me to hear they are having babies and don't get me wrong iam happy but they know that it's hard for me because they are having something that was taken from me please help
2006-07-21 10:10:59 · 17 answers · asked by lorettaq_25 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
sorry to here about that i feel for u so much. i cant even amagine what u are going threw. u just need to try to be happy for them. they dont relize that there happiness is killing u. u have every right not to be happy. good luck with your law suit i really hope u win it.
2006-07-21 10:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by shell4678 3 · 11⤊ 0⤋
I can sympathize with you, having miscarried 5 pregnancies. However, as bad as people may feel about telling you, they probably want you to share things about their life. That is what my friends would tell me-some of them even delayed telling me until it was obvious they were expecting. As hard as this is, you should probably try to not avoid these kinds of situations. I can almost guarantee that your friends are not thinking that it is nice to tell about the babies when you lost your precious gift, but merely trying not to leave you out of their lives. If it is still too painful to hear about it, then you would have to speak to them and ask them not to talk about their children. Eventually, though, this will get a bit lonely. I know-I avoided every baby shower, phone call, baby naming, etc. for too long and became so isolated. I will be praying that you find some joy again soon-good luck!
2006-07-21 17:29:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all -- I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
It's always hard to hear about your friends having babies after you've lost one.
The only consolation I can give you is to remind you, of course, that they're not having babies just to make you feel bad. If it gets too much to bear, just put a hand on their arm gently, give them a weak smile, and say something brave but sad.
If you're TOO sad, they will stop being around you altogether for fear of depressing you, which I don't think is what you want. You want to say something that lets them know it hurts to think about what you lost, but that you know they're not being cruel. It's always effective, for example, to apologize to THEM because you're sad -- unless they're completely clueless, they'll realize that they've been slightly insensitive and will tone it down.
2006-07-21 18:22:00 · answer #3 · answered by Scott F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is so normal for you to feel that! My best friend just lost a baby not to long ago, and I have a 4 month old, I felt so bad even talking to her about mine because I did not want to hurt her feelings. Maybe your friends just want to try and make you feel better in some way!!!! I know what I did was let my friend come to me, when she was ready to be around us then we were there for her. I hope you soon feel better about your situation!!!!
2006-07-21 17:53:09 · answer #4 · answered by Mommyto2handsomeBoys 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot hold your friend's happiness against them. It is not their fault that your baby was stillborn and their's were not. They are not purposefully trying to hurt you with their preganancies. Try to look beyond yourself and your tragedy, and take joy in your friend's successes. It really will be healing for you. There is no malice in them going on with their lives. If you stop yours, then you will be deepening the tragedy of what has happened. Life must go on, and in time, you will heal enough to want to try again yourself.
2006-07-21 17:17:53 · answer #5 · answered by TXChristDem 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every life is a celebration, don't rain on their parade. Losing a baby has to be one of the most difficult things a person could ever experience. That doesn't mean that everyone you know should put their lives on hold until you are recovered enough from your grief to return to living. My condolences to you and try to be happy for your friends.
2006-07-21 17:16:07 · answer #6 · answered by jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I'm very sorry for your loss. No one should have to go through losing a child - but you should also be happy for your friends and don't make them feel bad because they're having babies and you unfortunately lost one.
2006-07-21 17:31:52 · answer #7 · answered by Angelina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it had to have been hard for you to have lost a baby but you cannot hold that against your friends and you should be happy for them I dont think they are throwing it in your face They want you to share in their experiences and dont give up One day you can have many more children
2006-07-21 17:16:19 · answer #8 · answered by Brock C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think of your friends and there babies a blessing to help you cope with the lose of you child Lots of incourgement and love your way
2006-07-21 17:41:50 · answer #9 · answered by mommy2faithat19#3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing they can do about it, and I am sure they feel bad for you as well but, you should act happy for them, My friend had a miscarriage and was due this month as am I, I sympathize with her because I had a Miscarriage before but she is happy for me as well
2006-07-21 19:35:06 · answer #10 · answered by Heather H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋