Should I move on from my husband or try to make things work?

Question

I've been married going on 2 years but with him for 9 years on and off. we have two babies together, one who is 2 and the other is 9 months. For the past months weird things been taking place, such as I found girls #'s, hang up's on his phone when I answer and the iceing on the cake is for the past couple of weeks he tells me over and over how he doesn't want to be with me and how he is not in love with me. Already teo times he has walked out on me and the kid's while stating how over it is between us. What should I do? I love him so much. I can't imagine life without him. My kid's are so sad when he is not around. Do I just give his space or will that cause him to nevr to come back to me

Answer 1

Dont imagine life without him, live life without him

Answer 2

I was in the same position as you where my husband point out and said that he isn't in love with me anymore and that the marriage is over.....I too have two children by him and I tried to work things out with him forgiving him for cheating on me, but if a man tells you he doesn't want to be in the marriage anymore believe it someone else has caught his attention....I know it will be hard to move on but it is not fair to your children or you to c you unhappy.....u have to be strong, pray about it......the part where you said that if you give him space will that cause him to never come back well if you look at the big picture he is already gone you should probably find something else to stimulate your mind....and in the end he will reap what he soed....God Bless

Answer 3

Sorry to say -- he was too immature to get married in the first place. He is through with you. Get a good lawyer, get all of the money out of your joint bank account, change the locks when he is out, and get over it. As far as the kids go, give him equal time with the kids, as long as he pays his child support.

Move on. You are probably a great person who deserved someone good to love you. The longer you hold out hoping, the worse he will get, and the more miserable you will be.

And yes -- this is coming from a guy!

Answer 4

When someone treats you that way, it is basically abuse.

He is hurting both you and your children, and he obviously doesn't care.....what kind of a father is that?

Don't you think you deserve better also?

Look, everyone deserves to be loved and to live in a relationship that runs on truth and trust.

You have neither.

He is a bad husband and a terrible father.

Now your question to yourself should be "do I wanna be a good mother?"......as a good mother wouldn't let her children be treated like that. They are also learning from what they see, as in, they will grow up thinking it is ok to be treated that way.....which then costs thousands in therapy 20 years down the line for them to sort out.

In short, start being good to yourself and your children.

Take Control of your life, you deserve more out of life than the scraps from a cheat and his hooker.

You deserve love!!!! and there is someone out there for everyone, even though it doesn't feel that way right now.

I hope you find peace with this.

Big hug to you!!!!!

Answer 5

I'd be sad too, but your feelings of love are not enough to make a relationship work. I know the feelings seem like they're the most important thing here, but they're really just one part of what it takes to make a relationship work--your soon-to-be ex-husband isn't doing what he needs to do on his end to make it work, besides which, he's told what his feelings are. Better to be lonely with the possibility of being loved than stuck with a relationship that won't function. You need a lover who is your partner--sounds you have neither. Once you get through the feelings, I strongly suspect you will not want him back. Good luck, I know it's tough.

Answer 6

he has issues, marrages go through rough spots around 7-9 years, it takes work to make it through them....sometimes it takes years, but in the end it is worth it. that is part of his problem, the other part, is the kids....they change everything. having a young one around makes you tired and probably do not want sex as much...this bugs him too i'm sure. sit down with him and talk. when you two r not fighting, and truely discuss how you want to move on, together, or apart. have a heart to heart. don't get angry just be real....he may have or is cheating...if you think you can get past this, work it out. best of luck.

Answer 7

you can stick around waiting for him to come back after you give him whole alot of space... and image that he bang women out there right now. and you think he not going to do that and he told you clearly he not in love with you and you found girl phone number and calling... If my wife saw that girl phone number asked me and knowing that I lie and she will end it don't matter how old it is.. I don't understand why husband treating you like that and you still lov ehim???

It make no sense Both of you should think about Marriage before it happen but things happen like that and I know you do love him so much but really you already gave the answer to yourself about giving him whole alot of space...

Answer 8

you are a big girl, so messing with your head and heart is fair game since you permit it. but messing with the kids is unforgivable. Would you let anyone else abuse them like this?

You sound way too needy for your own good, or for the good of your children. You both need to grow up for the sake of the kids, but since you can't control him, only yourself, better get with it.

I think divorce is a horrible thing for kids to be subjected to, but there are worse things - like your present situation.

Answer 9

get the DVD/VCR of "The Story of Us" watch it together. then decide together if working things out is what you both want. if so, get the men are from mars, women are from Venus DVD. watch it with him and discuss what is being said at the end of each segment. don't be afraid to share your feelings. just learn how to say them in a language he'll understand. good luck

Answer 10

It is complicated because of the kids, so you will always be connected through them. I think you should definitely move on. I've been divorced - I know.