why doesnt he love me anymore?

Question

im soo confused ive been wiv my bf sence i was 16 six years now we have two wonderful children hes neva been a very loving person and it has always been me cuddling and kissing and giving all the affection and loving words ive finally had enoth and said i need him to be affectionate and loving back as i need 2 feel loved and needed in return hes says hes an emotional wreak and he says he wants to have a break but i have said its all or nothing so he said hes doesnt love me anymore and its not fair on me that i should get on with my life as im still young (hes 11 yrs older ) he thinks hes been holding me back from doing things i dont belive he doesnt love me anymore he cant just switch off hes love just like that i love him sooo much im in such a state as if i dont have him i have nothing his my life i know nothing else i have no other family im not sure that i can cope wivout him i need him soo much i dont know what to do :(

thanks for answers some more helpful than others i know its not another woman he wud neva do that plus he cant even tell a little lie. and being married or not has nothing to do wiv it we were going to married but had to cancel due to me falling pregnant wiv our 2nd child i really love him wiv all my heart and i know i sound needy but i dont want to be wivout him but at the same time i dont want to be wiv sum1 who doesnt love me and keeps messing me about i cud live wiv out him i wud just rather not god someone help im sooo confused as wot to do 4 the best hope and pray and hope for the best or cry my heart out and get rid of him

Answer 1

I'm in a similar situation. My husband said he doesn't think he loves me and I want things to work.

I know how you are feeling, sick, can't eat, sleep, constant gut churning. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I don't know what the answer is and I wish these people would stop assuming the man has another woman! I know it's common but it really doesn't help. Most women will know in their heart if that's the case.
Have you been arguing a lot recently? Do you try and have time alone? It's hard with kids isn't it? And life just kind of gets in the way.

My aim now is to try really hard and have fun with and without the kids, if he can't have fun and decide he wants to be with the one he chose then I'm better off out of there in the long term, i wonder if you would do the same?

Answer 2

So, when you were 16 he was 27. Now you are 22 and he is 33. You've had two kids together and have never married... that should tell you something right there. He never did love you or want you enough to marry you. You were just a child when he came into your life and he took advantage of that. Now he wants to get rid of the responsibility of you and the kids. I say you are better off without him. This man has no respect for you.

Go get a child support order set up and start taking responsibility for your life. You don't need this man in it. Set up a visitation schedule for the kids but don't let him back in your life. He will just hurt you.

I'm sorry but he sounds very selfish. Move on with your life.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Wow...this is a tough one. Well, for starters let's start with the "I need him" issue. Do you really need him? What has he offered? Apparently you are unsatisfied and unfulfilled. This is no way to live your life. You mentioned that he has always been cold and distant. YOU did the loving and hugging. Then one day you decided that it wasn't enough. This is something we as women HAVE TO STOP DOING!! Never settle for less. You know what you deserve; stop settling and wait for God to give you that! I want you to promise yourself you'll never do it again. This man has TOLD you he doesn't love you. MOVE ON. You can make it. Do you go to church? Talk with a minister and maybe he (preferably she) can help with this situation. Start praying. If you're unmarried, repent and ask God what to do. Haven't prayed in a long time? Doesn't matter. He'll hear you. He loves you. He can give you all the love your man never did. And then He will send you a husband that will adore you and honor you. But you gotta seek GOD first.
Now, I understand you all have a family. But what really secures a child's happiness is seeing two HAPPY parents. You may not believe it, but children can often see if something is missing. And staying only does more damage. My Take: Leave and God will make a way for you.

Answer 4

If he doesn't love you anymore, he most likely loves someone else. You have to stand on your own two feet, go through a period of mourning and healing, and telling yourself that you will find another when the time is right. Being needy repels people. You need to have your own life and share part of it with another. You need supporting friends. Professional counseling might help. It takes two people trying hard to keep a relationship going--if you don't have that it's done. You can control or change other people. Good luck. Tell yourself you'll go through pain, but grow and be a happier person in the long run.

Answer 5

Could it be that he has another woman on the side? Sounds like it. And if that's the case, then you are better off without him. Divorce is a scary thing. I divorced my ex after 13 years of marriage and we had known each other since we were 16 also. My whole family disowned me. But now I am with a very loving man and my life couldn't be better. Maybe there is something better for you out there.

Answer 6

I know i remember staying with my ex wife so long that I have no feelings for her anymore becasue I have no family and no friends .. so I learn the hard way to move on and and I remarried and very happy and i give love and she give love back to me.. There a guy out there who is a giver... your BF is taker and you are giver and you need to find someone both are giver.. look at me my wife and I are giver and guess what my two kids are giver even if they are 3 and 2 years old msiling.

I know it hard to do that when you don't have family. I have ended my family 10 years ago and I have been much better off without them..

You don't sound beg or needy at all.. you just want a guy to return love you do the same becasue knowing that does love you back huh? My wife said all her exboyfriend not happy all taker not giver and she met me and I am a giver and I love her so mucha nd i do anything for her and I die for her and even my kids too. that what kind of guy do for you too not just him think about himself and that is selfish of him.

Answer 7

I had a baby with my ex when I was 14. We stayed together for about 5 years until I finally left him. You will get over it if you guys don't stay together. You have been with him so long that you are used to him that's why it's hard for you. When you have a baby at such a young age like we did it's more like an attachment, like you said he is all you know. You can do it. If he is not happy and you guys can't go to counseling to get it worked out then you need to let him go. You will be okay with out him.

Answer 8

Hey,
Just talk to him more and ask him if this is really what he wants...B/c when your kids get older they will be confused and crush that their mom and dad ain't together and they will be asking questions...Just tell him that you love him and want to make it work out....You should've married him that way if he wants to leave you, he would have to pay for the divorce, pay child support and alimony....Then pretty much you would've had it made and didn't really have to worry about anything and plus he would have to find you a place to live and pay the note on the vehicle.....Good Luck in whatever choice you make...May God be with you!!!

Answer 9

im in a situation similar to yours but im not married or have children but i have been with my bf since i was 16 i mean i probably didnt treat him right and he remembers everything. he left me and said he didnt ove me from one day to another how can that be. but i believe he really does love you maybe he just needs space to rethinnk things over i have been waiting for him for a couple months letting him think things over and well i still know deep in my heart he love me an dyour husband absolutly loves you. just give him some space, dont worry we all feel like we have nothing without out the person you love but once you realize that it didnt kill you it only makes stronger!

Answer 10

I've been through the same I've been with my bf since i was 15yrs old we have three kids and been together 10yrs. I put so much importance on him and making him happy and what i got in return was him cheating on me almost every time i was pregnant. i took him back because i was so immature and needy, and had low self esteem. Now i know that the world doesn't revolve around him so for all his actions in the past I turned out to be cold just like him and now he misses the old me..what goes around does come around.