oksy, my husband and i seperated back in june and i decided to move back home to virginia and he stayed in dallas. we were going thru hard times and i just decided i need time to myself. (we have 3 kids) well he cheated and of course i got pissed off, but i forgave him because we have been thru alot in our relationship as well. okay so, we have moved past all the childish things and i plan on going back and working on our marriage. well today he calls me from work and he was on the girls phone that he cheated on me with. he said that she has been telling him how she feels about him and he says that he has told her that she was a mistake and that he wants to work things out with me, his wife. he also says that she has been buying him almost anything that he wants, but i don't get it, why would he call me form her phone? and i have caller id. i believe my husband but, from a guys point of view why would you call your wife from another womens phone.
2006-07-21 09:36:24 · 17 answers · asked by lateshafinley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i aint readin all that crap.............
2006-07-21 09:42:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...I would not. That's akin to rubbing salt into the wound. Maybe the "buying him anything he wants" includes a brand-new cell phone in her name. To begin with this situation is very suspect. does he seem sincere about making this work? Of course if you return to Dallas and the former girlfriend is there you run the risk of this occurring again. probably on a higher plain of sneakiness. Which of course would cause you to go back to Virginny again.
So...guess it should suffice to say if you feel comfortable 9but wary) then go back and try and make it work. If it happens again, well, you can file for divorce. Forgive once is devine....but not a second time for the same thing. At least at that point you'll know what side you bread is buttered on.
Good luck...oh...and keep the kids in mind when you make these decisions.
2006-07-21 16:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm, errrrr well? My battery was low!!! that's the ticket!!!! yeah, that's what it was! If he was serious about working it out, he would have dumped her, in one shot! The problem is that men think a separation is a permission slip to sleep around. When you were separated he had this fling and it did something for him inside that you might have done for him once. But you don't, wont or cant make him feel it anymore. If you let your dog chew your socks on Thursday, hes gonna chew them on Friday too, and every chance he gets from that day forward. Once you open the bag its really hard to get the cat back in. I wish women could see this b-4 they decide they "need time to themselves", mine and alot of other relationships might have survived! If you are both working on things, you don't need to separate, and if only one of you is working, you still don't need to separate. Divorce or stay, separations normally just make the couple want a divorce anyway, from what I've seen!
2006-07-21 16:51:21 · answer #3 · answered by tmajik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My two cents, he's confused about what he wants. He obviously has an attraction to her but appears to feel an "obligation" to you and your kids. I would NEVER call you from another woman's phone, particularly the one I cheated with on you. I'd be concerned that if his head (or heads) are not on straight, you and your kids may get caught up in a mess while he tries to figure out what he wants. I would not appear that he is REALLY ready to make things work with you. Beware.
2006-07-21 17:06:28 · answer #4 · answered by Bill P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I don't believe that stuff about once a cheater always a cheater. However, Tell him that you still need time to consider your options. see what happens next. If he loves you and wants you back make him suffer. You have all the talons ( you are incharge if he is telling you the truth. If he wants you back then maybe he needs to come and get you.
2006-07-21 16:43:25 · answer #5 · answered by christsluv4u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby, your in for more heartache if you move back or let him in your life again. He is just wanting the best of both worlds, you and his girl friend. Hold you ground stand firm. You sound like a very nice lady, you will be able to move on with your life and find someone who will treat you like a lady and be a father to your children.
2006-07-21 16:49:56 · answer #6 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep--I'd be suspicious too, and I'm not the suspicious type. Best suggestion I can make, if you haven't already talked to him about it, is to ask him about it in person. Then turn your B.S. detector up to full volume and see what it tells you. If he did nothing wrong, he'll understand why you'd be concerned and explain it in a calm manner, and his priority will be to maintain the connection with you. If he gets defensive or evasive,,,,I'd make sure I was not dependent on him for anything important for awhile while I figured out what was best for me and my kids.
2006-07-21 16:48:42 · answer #7 · answered by Pepper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kinda weird? Maybe he did it on her phone so she could hear him talking to you? I would call him on it and see what he tells you. If I was him, (which I am not) if I really wanted to be back with my wife and meant it I would be on the first plane I could to Virginia to apologize and try to get you back.
2006-07-21 16:48:16 · answer #8 · answered by mr.mister 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he using her phone, AND why is she still buying him crap? that implies he is still talking to her and giving her enough signals to think it's okay to buy him things.
I'm drawing a blank as to why I would use a mistresses phone unless I was still seeing her or being weak.
It's your decision on what to do - 3 kids in the picture definitely makes decisions tougher.
2006-07-21 16:46:49 · answer #9 · answered by Nightwish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there,,,it sounds like hes being open with youabout your relationship and being over at her place ,,hes either not to bright or ,,after telling her that he want to be with you and work it out and showing her by using her phone while shes there conferming that this is what he wants and that it is actually you and not another girl friend,,so that she sees and hears what he says,,,i do hope that he is sincere ,because yes there are always hard times in a relationship and you have forgiven him to try again ,,kisses to you and i do hope it works ,,care to chat any more ,can email me ,,take good care,,,,,,Fyr
2006-07-21 16:46:45 · answer #10 · answered by fyr s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be confused with whom he wants to be with. If his lady friend has given him many things, than she more than likely gave him her phone also. You have to decide as to whether you are ready to go back and give it another chance. Once you see him, you will know whether you know. It will be written all over his face. Good Luck!
2006-07-21 16:53:36 · answer #11 · answered by icemountian8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋