What should i do please explain please read details?

Question

My mother gives me guilt trip,told me not to move out work on my own.Im 24 saying they need me to work to pay at home.I stayed back to realise she ignores me when things i plan she doesnt like(shes done it all her life)if i try to talk to my father he sides with her.My younger sister realises this but my mother says i start fights.Im adjusting but i planned 11 birthday party for younger sister my mothers always whining theres no money when there is so i pay for parties all times again she started theres no money so i said ill pay she didnt like the idea of birthday party for my 11yr sister she sulked ignored us for hours.She came to talk when she wanted something.When she doesnt like it she shuts off which is not fair since in everything she wants her way theres nothing wrong in throwing a birthday party for 11yr sister.She & my father owe me $3000 when i say i want to go on holiday give money back they wont give it. What should i do?I ignore her tantrums she comes around.

Answer 1

In a situation like yours, your best bet is to move out and be on your own. No one can honestly look down on you for it, you are 24 after all. Also, your mom is being selfish. Your little sister will appreciate you throwing her a b-day party, so you should definitely do it. Don't let them push you around anymore.

Answer 2

You need to move out regardless of what they're a saying. Unless you have some type of disability, there's no reason why a grown *** person should still be living at home with their parents. That's not healthy anyway. I wouldn't give a damn about nobody and their tantrums if i really wanted to move . You have to think about yourself first. You are the most important person in your life because without you, you would be nothing. Literally. So whatever you feel that you need to do, don't let anyone stop you, even if it is your parents. If you have 3000 to lend out, then you definitely will be straight when you move. I'd say go for it.

Answer 3

she's got issues with her own life and unhappiness that has nothing to do with anyone else. She's trying to control others because she doesn't have control over her own life. Distance with love is the best remedy....I had a mother that was similar and I moved 2000 miles away when I was 21 because I realized I would never grow up being controlled by someone else's emotions. Even if you send some money back to help them out that would be fine, but don't burn ur bridges or leave home on bad terms. They will guilt trip you and beg you to stay, but just assure them you love them and go ahead with your plans. Chalk your $3000 loan as a gift and move on. It's not worth the time or energy - and its their backwards way of keeping you attached.

The first year was hard for me - my mother refused to call me for months after I left, but eventually they accept it and respect you for making your own way. Your parents money situation is not your fault, and it is not your responsibility to be the parent.....you are 24 and they are capable of supporting themselves (as long as there is no disbility or illness preventing it) You are entitled to a life of your own, not wasted years being a puppet and financial support. CARPE DIEM!

Answer 4

either pay them rent and tell her to treat u as a tenant (ie freedom to throw parties) and ur not her slave anymore (well maybe not that harsh), OR move out for reals (maybe even take ur sister w/ u). sounds to me that a) u have some money, b) know how to take care of ur family, c) are fairly responsible/have a consience. your mother, however..doesn't sound like she has these qualities, cuz if she DID she would be taking care of YOU , not the other way around. also, when u "lend" family members money, it's pretty much gone. i would say try to move out, even tho she gives u the guilt trip. why feel guilty?? ur paying ur dues, paying ur rent. if u weren't there, do u really think they would have to move out to another place?? well, maybe they're living in a place they can't afford then. they can't expect u to give u ur young adult life cuz THEY want to live in their house w/ no parties..that's just lame. and u can use ur money for whatever u want, u are working. tell them they can keep ur $3,000 (cuz OBVIOSULY they don't have the money to pay u back!), get out of that situation so u dont' have to worry about her bugging u or coming around or ignoring people. that's not a healthy family relationship, and ur just stressing urself out by continuing to be their bread when they don't give u any respect in return!

Answer 5

Quit worrying about your mother and stand up for yourself. It is your mothers job to worry about paying the bills, not yours. She can only make you feel guilty about it as long as you allow her to. If you can afford to live on your own I would definitely move out, that would also give your sister a place to hang out without all the drama. No, you obviously don't cater to your mothers tantrums, thats why she is the way she is, people have always bowed to her and you are just being another one of those. If someone had refused to take her crap 20 years ago maybe she would have grown up and wouldn't still be making everyone around her so miserable. As long as you live in her house she does get to make the rules, so get yourself your own house.

Answer 6

Will 1st you don't need to put out money for your parents they can make there own money. If they don't have any money than why should you pay for everything? you keep on telling your parent that they own you and you want it now. And if you don't get the money they owe you tell them that you will not come to see them any more. Your 24 years old and you can move out if you want too your parents can't tell you what to do. will I don't know what else to say but good luck!!

Answer 7

Move out on your own immediately. If you can't afford to get your own place this instant, then stay with a friend. Do not give your parents another penny. Kiss the $3000 good-bye (you'll never see it) and go start to make your own life. You deserve a great life; not a guilt trip!

Answer 8

Yes. Ignore her tantrums that she throws. To me, it sounds like its getting pretty old! Whatever you do, don't give her anymore money! If she owes you 3000 dollars already, im pretty sure thats enough! Confront her about this situation & see what she has to say about it. ( The only time you should give her money is if its an emergency) Tell her shes a big girl, she can handle things her self! .. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 9

This is so hard for me to say this, but maybe it is time you moved into your own place. Have you spoken to any of your Aunts or Uncles, regarding this. I don't know what country you're from, or what the family customs are.. Your life just seems so hard to take.. It's unfair to you, your 11 year old sister.. and your parents.
Can you speak with your pastor, if you have one..

Answer 10

Okay, here is your answer.
First pray about it. Then you have a couple of options.
You can talk to your parents and try to come to an understanding that suits all of you.
You can start saving up money and move into a furnished flat somewhere.
You can start saving money and move into a flat with a mate who has furniture.

Good luck.