Im 24 years old and in the middle of college. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 years. We love each ther dearly and both want to get married. He has not proposed yet bu it is definitly comming. Anytime I bring this up to my mother she lectures me about finishing school first, (which I totally agree with) but do I need to finish school before I accept a proposal? Im 24 for crying out loud!!! When will my mother stop trying to make me feel like I am some young girl whos in puppy love? We are dead serious about marriage so why can't she just be (or act) happy for us?!?!
2006-07-21 09:28:46 · 21 answers · asked by J. P 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Doesn't sound to me like she's treating you like a child in puppy love, it just sounds like she doesn't want you to sacrifice your education to get married, and i can't blame her. I'm sure your mother has seen tons of women who devoted themselves to their 'men' and ended up really screwed 15 years later. Sounds to me like she just wants the best for you. Have you let her know that you totally agree with finishing your education first and have no intentions of giving that up to get married? And if you do what is the big deal? What i read here is that you agree with her but at the same time want to argue some other point. Are you sure you really know how you feel about it? Maybe if you sit her down and and let her know exactly what your plan is she will stop worrying, at least as long as your plan is responsible and well thought out. Good luck!
2006-07-21 09:34:36 · answer #1 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom just doesn't want to believe her little girl is growing up. Your mom should be more adult about it though. You have been with the man for 3 years so you'd think she would be happy that her daughter was planning on getting married sometime in the near future. Your not rushing it. You want to finish school efore getting married. Maybe your mother should step back and see that you have a good head on your shoulder and your gonna do the right thing.
2006-07-21 16:35:22 · answer #2 · answered by lillady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is just concerned for you. Perhaps it is a reflection of something that happened to her. Maybe she quit school or didn't go to get married to your father. Have you tried to sit down and have a calm talk with her? Take her out to lunch and explain to her what your feelings are, your plans for the future and your boyfriends plans. Let her know you are an adult by showing her you have a plan and that you are not jumping into anything foolishly. If she's a rational woman, then she will understand. The key is to show her you have a plan and laying it out for her.
Good luck!
2006-07-21 16:35:21 · answer #3 · answered by TMH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a mothers job to always want the best for their children. Getting engaged while your in school isn't a bad thing. Just wait until you finish school for the wedding and make sure your mom knows that you want to finish school. Just because your mom isn't acting happy for you doesn't mean that she's not. Parents always worry about their childrens decisions and sometimes parents forget that their children are old enough to make choices on their own. Just tell your mom that you appreciate her advice and concern and you respect her choices in life and it would mean the world to you if she respected yours as well. Hang in there! Your mom is only doing this because she loves you!
2006-07-21 16:35:52 · answer #4 · answered by fennamason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look first of all I spend lots of time on da PC (computer) so had to learn how to cut the words in half don't try 2 be a smart azz
as 4 ur Q ur mom is never gonna stop preaching so 4get bout it I'm 22 merried a 2 year old kid my hubby is 29 we have an educaton but is very hard.. if u want 2 get merried go 4 it, finish school get a good job n then have kids!!!!!!!!
2006-07-21 18:55:24 · answer #5 · answered by Cookie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...well I think the better question is when will your boyfriend be serios and propose?...Until he does that, your mother will not take you seriously in that respect. In her eyes he is just a boyfriend. Trust me marriage is not a simple act of love. It takes a great deal of understanding, tolerence, respect and a sense of humor to be successful. For crying out loud you are only 24! that is not old by any means. The commitment of marriage should be built on the foundation of your personal commitments that are underway such as your career.
And remember, in her eyes you will always be her baby. When you have children you will understand and not one moment sooner.
By the way congatulations on your LOVE.
2006-07-21 16:38:22 · answer #6 · answered by stephiestrobel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time bring this situation up when it actually happens. I'm sure she's just looking out for your best interest here, not giving her too much credit. Just leave the whole marriage proposal thing alone until it actually happens or she brings it up and then talk about it. She'll be fine. Congrats on both college and your new life.
2006-07-21 16:34:35 · answer #7 · answered by Barbie doll lover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chronological age doesn't have anything to do with being mature enough for marriage.
There are no less then six mistakes in your question section...your mother is correct in telling you, that you need to finish school.
You are ONLY 24; you have plenty of time for marriage AFTER you have the proper skills to take care of yourself in life. That includes education, along with the maturity you are so obviously lacking.
2006-07-21 16:36:09 · answer #8 · answered by madamspinner2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is your mother, she`s not going to change so don`t try, your mum wants the best for you ....... (her baby) most mums are like that, my mum is, just go along with her, get engaged and she`ll come to terms with that ... then do the marrage bit .... stay calm even though you may not feel like it .... just remember you`ll probaly be a mum one day and even thought you may not think so at the moment .... you`ll be the same, good Luck xxx
2006-07-21 16:35:53 · answer #9 · answered by Tatty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I could help you. Im 37 and I dont think mine takes me seriously now. I have had to kids and the first one I was 20, and she treated me like I was a 13 yr old telling her I was pregnant, then the second, I waited till I was 34, and the first words out of her mouth were, oh no.....
Maybe she will get it whe you are on like your 15th wedding anniversary? but maybe not even then. maybe never. sorry.
2006-07-21 16:35:49 · answer #10 · answered by cutiepie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋