Im not good at this stuff. What should i say to her for comfort. I told her id be there whenever she needed me, but i dont know what else to say to her when she cries. I just say im sorry.....
2006-07-21 08:36:43 · 13 answers · asked by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
there is no real way to make the pain go away for your friend...just be there for her and offer your support. That alone is the best thing you can do.
2006-07-21 08:41:05 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jersey is right, just be there for her. Empathize but not Sympathize. Let her know you are concerned about her and pray that her pain eases up. Look a pictures of her brother together and plan a farewell of sorts where the two of you and his friends can do something that her brother enjoyed to say your good bye's. For instance, if he liked Bowling, have a bowling farewell. If her liked Skateboards, go to the Skateboard park and have a farewell party. If he was an infant then this may not apply. Offer to help her and her parents if you can. Maybe take them a nice lunch or offer to tend to to her kids while they go out, Kindness is never forgotten.
I too, am sorry for her loss and that you both will be going through some tough times. Hang in there and how nice of you to ask how to help. Great friend you are!
2006-07-21 08:45:44 · answer #2 · answered by divaterry1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anybody is good at this stuff. Just be there to listen to her and help her out with stuff she's not up to doing. It's easy to try to stay away from a grieving person (sad to say alot of guys are like this) because it's unpleasant, but she's never needed her friends like she does now. You're a good friend to be so concerned for her. Everyone is different. Some want to talk about the deceased, and some don't. Just be there to listen to her.
2006-07-21 08:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by Ricky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can really do is be there for her. My best friends sister (18) got into a car accident 2 years ago, the only thing I could really do for him, was keep him drunk and all you can to keep her mind off it. I took off work for 2 weeks and all we did was talk about the good times that we had with her and how she use to make everyone smile. just try to remind her what a great person her brother was. when I was upset, talking about that helped a bit, try to stay away from the I'm sorries. try to have a few friends hang out for a couple days to see if that calms her down a bit.
2006-07-21 08:45:10 · answer #4 · answered by Frank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i lost a brother and it was real nice of my friend's to stop by and comfort me...they were there with me through thick and thin...but please don't say ther following thing's...because it bugged the hell out of me.." he is a far better place and he is not suffering any more"...now that made me mad and if u have not lost a sibling then u well not know how it feels. So. with all respect just comprt her and let her know that ur there...It made me so happy to have a fren by my side...hug's are always nice too..let her know that it is okay to cry and just to think of the happt times that they shared and keep them close...I know that my little brother wouldnot want me here crying all the time...i am still thinkn of him to this day. I miss him soo much..respectfully said" Rest In Peace baby bro...I love you and Miss you"
SO u take care and end my regard to ur fren .....
2006-07-21 08:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by itsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's really nothing you can say to make her feel better...unfortunately. Just be there for her, like you said. Let her cry, reminisce, maybe share a few stories yourself if you knew her brother.
2006-07-21 10:20:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please share my story with her...it will help her:
When my brother died at the age of 32, I was devastated. After the funeral, I came home and felt there was some unfinished business between us. To make a long story short, I spoke out loud to him on the outside chance he could hear me. Keep in mind that I was feeling mighty foolish; but I did it anyway. I poured my heart out to him and ended my thoughts, with what I hoped wasn’t an one-sided conversation, by saying, “Please check on our baby brother [because he couldn’t attend the funeral] in Germany; I am worried about him.”
Ten minutes later, I received a mysterious call from a gentleman I hardly knew. He lived in the same state as I did and I rarely heard from him...so the fact he called me from Germany was miraculous in and of itself. This man does not possess a poetic bone in his body; but before I could respond , he began to speak of truly lovely things. He said he was standing outside a beautiful garden with flowers of every color and description. Colors were present that he had never seen before.
He continued to expound into a fifteen minute description of truly wondrous things…and then stopped abruptly with, “I don’t know what got into me, why I called you, or the fact I found your phone number in my pocket. I don’t remember putting it there. I am embarrassed.” Then he hung up…and I hadn’t uttered more than a squeaky “Hello” when I first picked up the phone. I haven’t heard from him since that time.
My brother’s death gave me Life…for I knew with certainty that Life continues after someone passes. I learned that Love continues into eternity. We change from a physical form into a spiritual one. This launched me into more productive things. He is still with me…and I knew that someday I would gain an opportunity to share this with someone.
Listen to your friend; be there for her, share my story with her in the hope it will comfort her…as it did for me, so long ago. Tell her to be alert to signs that her loved one is still with her. My brother dedicated a song to me that only we knew about. I didn’t hear this song played on the radio for many years. All of a sudden, every time I turned on my radio, this song would be playing. I knew he was with me. I now understand the beauty of the Life/Death/ Life process…and it is glorious, indeed.
2006-07-22 17:16:09 · answer #7 · answered by riverhawthorne 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just spending time with her will help. You don't have to say too much, just try and get her to talk about it. There is nothing anyone can say. It will take time to heal.
2006-07-21 08:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by Sabina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am soooooo sorry. Pray and ask God 4 healing. Pray pray pray. God loves him and her and u too. I'll even pray for yall. I'm here 4 u if u need someone.
2006-07-21 08:42:00 · answer #9 · answered by Whitney G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just hang out with her and just show her that you will be there, she doesn't need you to say anything, just to actually be around her and letting her know that its okay to be sad.
2006-07-21 08:39:07 · answer #10 · answered by JerseyBleu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋