Support for Children of a Sex offender?

Question

My father was arrested two weeks ago for Possesion of CHild Porn and Lewd or indecent act with a child under 16. Then last weekend he went back to jail for 2 days for beating up his girlfriend. I'm an adult and I know that he is sick and needs definately help. My issues are with me dealing with all of this. It is really hard dealing with a father that is guilty of these charges. Has anyone ever been through this? Is there any sort of group or program that helps? Thanks for your help and time.

Answer 1

There is this group national alliance of mental illness http://www.nami.org/ and it has meetings all over. If is for the family members of people who have issues like your fathers. It helps the family members get support, undertand more and no that you are deffinetly not alone. Stay strong!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

You could start a group. Just remember you have no part in what your father does. I know it must be hard especially if you live in the same town. You can legally change your last name. Talk with the people at a mental health center they may have information on where groups for this meet. I would never judge anyone for what their father does. Stay Strong.

Answer 4

I am sorry for you Samanatha, but child abuse is the curse of our age. I am much older than you, so instead of Father, for the argument and question, I will have to substitute Son. I am afraid to say, that if he was involved in child abuse, I could not forgive him and would completely write him out of my life. There is no alternative and statistics prove that it may be a disease, but it is 99percent incurable. I would not like him to have anything to do with children, be they yours or in my case, my grandchildren. I would attend someone else's funeral and consider it his. And that would be the end of the matter. I would never consider him alive again. It would break my heart, but that is the truth. Take care, God Bless and I hope, sincerely hope, that you have the strength to deal with the matter in whatever way YOU consider the best...................

Answer 5

There is group and one - on-one counseling.Check with your local Health Department or Behavioral Health Services.Some times even the Law Enforcement can give you the names of groups Especially if you have young children who may have to deal with what their Grandfarther is.

Answer 6

you might go to the courthouse and ask them if there is a list of groups for this kind offends
or maybe start one up yourself and see what happens
good luck

Answer 7

This is a pretty site. I hope it helps and my condolences for you and your family, Good Luck!

http://hopefull1.tblog.com/

Answer 8

We are way too easy on those who decise to abuse children. Here is my answer to these people who abuse our loved ones
Sex Offender Legislation “Wish List”
1-GPS and lifetime supervision/treatment Law The failure of today's solutions regarding sexual offenders is because we are stuck in the strategy of “public notification” rather than “controlling offenders”. The current model puts the burden on parents rather than offenders, and makes the wrong people work to prevent abuse. Remotely (GPS) knowing where an offender is at all times throughout his lifetime can help to prevent that offender from creating new cases of sexual abuse.
2-Include all known offenders in the management plan-for life. It is wrong to include just those under supervision since the Meagan’s Law was written. People do not ever age out of this behavior so why an old is charge less important than a new charge. Sexual offences are the most under reported crimes (according to the FBI). The fact that a molester has not been arrested recently does not necessarily means he has not offended. In my opinion all offenders should be included in any plan, regardless of when their offense occurred. I believe some states have done this already.
3-Put all offenders , levels I, II or III on the website . I believe Florida does this. The leveling tool is very poor and pedophiles often end up with only a level I because they did not use force, and they superficially complied with treatment. The way the leveling system works pedophilic “groomers” who do not use force (and are the most busy of all offenders with hundreds of victims) are often not level III’s and therefore are able to have their offense relatively unknown. In New York for example offenders can lawyer up and reduce the “level” they get at their hearing. Molesters can assert they are “non violent”, “sober”, ect, and get the “points” reduced or get the judge to “override” the scale. Currently the public notification system is failing. All offenders of all levels should be on the website.
4- “Victim Shield Law”. As you know one of the few protections we offer rape victims is “Rape shield laws”, in order to at least try and prevent a rape victim’s sexual history from being put on trial rather than the rapist. In child sexual abuse cases there are no “Rape shield laws” to prevent the victim, or the victim’s family (often the mother) from being made the center of negative attention. In the past defense lawyers for rapists would portray rape victims as promiscuous, today child molester’s lawyers portray victims and victim’s mothers as manipulative, litigious, unreliable, angry, mentally ill, sociopathic, medicated, or undedicated. Because we as a society love to blame women, especially mothers, molesters have been able to harness the misogyny in our culture in order to escape responsibility for their offences. Like the old rape cases that would revolve around the victims sexual past, today molester cases revolve around a child or a mother’s real or fictional problems instead of the focus of attention being the sexual abuse committed by the offender. I do not know if there can ever be a “victim shield law” to prevent the victim/victim’s mother being put on trial rather than the molester, but I know it would help victims avoid being re-traumatized in the system and help society hold sexual offenders accountable. One of the things to always remember with offenders is they are control seekers, and will take any opportunity to attack rather than just defend. They feel entitled to their behavior and see being held accountable as an injustice they are being forced to suffer, and they have zero guilt in harming any number of people (even their children) in order to escape the consequences they deserve.
5-Plea deals down to “Endangering the welfare of a minor”. Despite the underlying behavior being the sexual abuse of children offenders are often given convictions that hide the nature of their behavior. When this happens offenders can get employment that gives them access to children, offenders are not on the State Sex Offender Registry. The other consequence to their being given non-sexual charges is that it cuts their supervision time in half. Misdemeanor sex offences carry 6 years probation supervision but “Endangering the welfare of a minor” carries only three. I feel the law should be changed so offenders cannot be given non-sexual abuse charges.
6-Make “Endangering the welfare of a minor” registerable , if the judge feels it was a sexually motivated crime. The registry is to narrow and limited as to what crimes can be registered. Laws be changed so “endangering the welfare of a minor” is registerable when the behavior or motivation was sexual.
7-“Standardized” conditions for those on sex offender probation. Right now offenders with good lawyers can get specific (or all) sex offender conditions removed from their sexual offender conditions of probation. This means that sexual offenders are on probation but are allowed to drink alcohol, work with children, have computers, go to bars, and do other things that will create a higher risk for the community. I feel there should be a “Statewide Sex Offender Conditions of Probation” that conditions cannot be removed from (but conditions can be added to suite the offenders issues).
8-Sexual Offender Contraband law- Strangely it is legal for sexual offenders off probation to own all kinds of things such as handcuffs, police lights, spy cameras, and software to make their internet behavior more anonymous.
9-Sex Offender use of technology law- When bank robbers use technology such as wearing body armor the penalties are increased, why are sex offender allowed to use any technology without added consequences. Offenders choose the internet because it allows greater access to children and greater anonymity. They should be punished for use of technology to harm a child. (technology such as Computers, digital cameras, webcams, ect)
10-“Secrecy Bind Law” The offender getting his victim to not report the crime he committed should be a separate crime that he suffers added consequences for. The pain that a victim suffers because the offender threatened, tricked, or manipulated the victim into silence should be seen as a separate and deserving of added consequences.
11- “Parental Alienation Syndrome” is a pseudo syndrome that is being used to get offenders off the hook by saying (incorrectly) that sexual abuse allegations come from a manipulative ex- playing head games with a child rather than because the child was actually molested. This “Parental Alienation Syndrome” is not a legitimate disorder, has not been subjected to peer review, has been ignored for 20 years by the APA, AMA, NASW, ECT because it is just a sophisticated way to say your wife is crazy and turned everyone against you. It is being pushed by hired guns such as Doctors, PhD’s, and lawyers to get their child molesting clients out of trouble. It is a favorite of the “Fathers Rights” groups who see men as victims of the Family Court system. By the way, these “Fathers rights” groups, “wrongly accused” groups, and “victims of allegations” groups are very organized and spend a good deal of time and energy networking and paying professionals. These angry, entitled molesters are organized and work hard, and I feel we need to work just as hard against them. My point is I feel we need some legislation to block this fake disorder from being used in court



The Myths and Truths about sexual offenders---The Myth::We can relax a bit now that we have sex offender registration.….The Truth Despite Megan's Law, the overall number of sex offenses occurring have actually increased, the websites can only do so much; we need GPS and lifetime probation to control this population. Currently we are failing to control them The Myth::Some Sex Offenders are not violent.….The Truth Non “Violent” Crimes such as molestation are just as traumatizing, and calling them “non-violent” is not in any way accurate. The Myth::Most sex offenders don’t have a lot of victims …The Truth Although 75% of sexual offenders were convicted of one offense, that just means they were only caught once, almost 100% of them have multiple victims. Many have been found to have hundreds when they were polygraphed on this question. The Myth::Most Sex Offenders were at one time abused as a child themselves, that’s why they do it.…The Truth Most "sex offenders" has never been sexually abused. In fact, offenders say this to appear less culpable for their crimes. When they are polygraph on this question their rates of being molested go way, way down, their rates are in fact close to the rest of us who are not molesting The Myth: :Sex.Offenders get serious punishment, and we don’t have to worry about them for years….The Truth They get revolving door sentences, if they even go to jail, and the vast majority do not, Offenders usually get probation, and even then sex offenders do not get GPS and lifetime probation(as they need to). Offenders quickly get back to a normal life while victims have lifetime consequences.The Myth::Sex Offenders are very controlled on probation or parole and cannot look for more victims. The Truth Offenders without GPS are on part time supervision, they are “good” while in the Probation officers eyesight for the weekly office visit. Offenders have all week to create more victims. Lifetime supervision with GPS would put society in charge. Currently offenders run the show, and this means more victims. The Myth:: Sex Offenders will grow old and out of this behavior.The Truth There is no “aging out” of offending. An offender has these desires and intentions for life. If they change it is to prevent being caught again. The Myth::Sex Offenders are all on the registry ….The Truth Sadly it’s very narrow and limited as to what crimes can be registered. Many offenders are given plea deals for non registerable crimes even though their actual behaviors were sexual offences. Laws must be changed so these “endangering the welfare of a minor” and other charges are registerable The Myth::Offenders friends and family support their recovery …..The Truth In realty the offender’s friends and family have denial regarding the offender’s full responsibility for his offense (they like to blame victims, police, DA ect). Offenders friends and family usually minimize the crime (he only touched her breast), and offenders friends and family often belittle rather than support the goals of supervision and treatment. Overall friends and family help the disorder rather than the offender who has it. Almost all of the time friends and family are working against the good of the community, although they may not know this. The Myth::The community is the main concern during the supervision process ….The Truth Actually, the current situation is budgets and offender rights are more important than community safety. The Myth::Offenders have to register immediately with local law enforcement. …..The Truth Sex offenders are often given up to 10 days to register upon moving in, or being employed within a state. Some states don’t require sex offenders visiting their state to register. Most states do not require sex offenders to register in advance of a move, they can move in and then inform. Getting a violation on a manipulative offender trying to beat the system is far too difficult. The Myth::Megan's Laws are consistent across the United States and protect the public equally. ….The Truth States laws vary, from only a 10-year registration without being put on the website to a more appropriate lifetime registration with community notification. (although registration is not supervision, and supervision without GPS is only 20 minutes a week of supervision) The Myth::Judges do not have discretion and have to give offenders the registration and probation terms that apply. …. The Truth In New York for example offenders can lawyer up and reduce the “level” they get at their hearing. Molesters can assert they are “non violent”, “sober”, ect, and get a level I or II and avoid the III that gets them posted on the website. Pushy lawyers advocating for the offender can get the Judges to change the sex offender conditions of probation as well, removing bans on child contact, allowing offenders to drink alcohol, own a softball team, and have computers, ect. Currently Judges have far too much leeway and offender’s attorneys use this to give the offender more freedoms that he then uses to act his sexual offences, even while on probation. Taking away judges discretion will allow society to determine the rules rather than the offender’s lawyer.