Can one truly forgive and forget when the cause of the pain is always in the back of one's thoughts?

Answer 1

Forgiveness is an unnatural act. People don't forgive; they get even. Forgiveness is an act of grace on the part of the one who was wronged. It is not an emotion; it is an act of the will. It says, "I am willing to cancel the debt you owe me." When someone abuses us or causes us pain, there is a cosmic law that says the person must somehow pay for the wrong done. That's all well and good, but how much payment is required? When will the scales balance again?

Forgiveness wipes the debt clean. Forgiveness is not primarily for the offender; it is meant to benefit the victim. Anger and bitterness are nasty bedfellows and the one who holds onto anger and hate loses in the end.

A word about forgetting: You will not forget a wrong done, but you will find that the act of forgiving will take the sting away in time.

Answer 2

One can forgive and forget if the pain caused was unintentional or a mistake but forgetting and forgiving someone who caused you pain intentionally is very very difficult. Especially when the cause of the pain is lingering in your thoughts reminding you of the whole episode and you're still hurting when the subject comes up.

Answer 3

Yes I believe that you can truly forgive but maybe not necessarily forget. The pain "what ever it is" eventually becomes removed from the intial response you had to it. Occasionally you may remenace and feel the way it did when it first happend but not as frequent or nearly as painful as when it first begun. So long story short is with time many wounds can be healed. Now if your constantly exposed to the person that caused the painful event or the cause of your suffering then yes it is harder to cope.... it's important to move on so you can heal....

Answer 4

Some times we are able to forgive but for truly painful events it is almost impossible to forget. But at the same time you don't have to forget just as long as you accept. And are able to make the painful experience a learning experience

Answer 5

No, you cant forgive and forget, whilever those thoughts are anywhere in your head, except in the closed section,... you would be fooling yourself to think that you could, ... the issues that caused the pain, have to be resolved,...... only then can you move towards forgiving and forgetting..

Answer 6

Do you honestly believe that someone in your life that perhaps has caused you mental or physical pain did so with the sole intent of purposely hurting you, then you need not forgive them, but remove yourself from their presence immediately.

When you mature and develop understanding of human nature then you realize they did not understand what they did and you can forgive them. There is no need to forget, because you yourself have learned from the situation. What does not kill you makes you stronger,

Answer 7

even if we forgive it remain buried deep in our subconsious only to rear it's ugly head from time to time.

Quite honestly? I don't think we can. We can pretend to be as noble as we like, but those thoughts are there for as long as your brain cells send out signals.

The only answer is to become totally insane. Even though the pain is still there somewhere, we are not aware.
Would be nice if we could selectively remove painful experiences in life.
But that would post another interesting question. Would we want to remove painful memories forever? What kind of person would that make us then?

Answer 8

Time heals all wounds.

But I know that in my case, when my ex-husband left me, I couldn't forgive, so I asked God to take my willingness to forgive and give me a supernatural ability to forgive beyond my own. He answered that prayer and here I am 14 years later. I fight off the temptation to give in to bitterness now and am able to attend weddings again and be truly happy for the couple.

Answer 9

I could be totally wrong, but I don't think the phrase "forgive and forget" are anywhere in the scriptures.

Forgiveness means resolving and dissolving any negative feelings toward the offender. I don't think you are obligated to put yourself in harm's way again.

You may certainly be able to forgive a pedophile, but you certainly don't have to let your kids go anywhere near them.

Answer 10

Personally I know that it is possible to forgive but never to forget. Forgiving someone for their transgression says that you have gotten past whatever it is they did to you. Not forgetting says that you will know better next time. At least that's how I look at it.