my girl is always avoiding issues that have to do with our relationship. She thinks that because she doesnt agree she doesnt have to deal with it. Or she even picks whats important to her on whether she will deal with and issue or not. I dont know how to tell her to respect my feelings and work on herself in a nice way.
2006-07-21 07:10:56 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm the butch, I just know I would like a healthy relationship. We are not married and just moved in together after a year of dating. She has three kids from a preivous relationship and I deal with all those issue, i need her to deal with our issues.
2006-07-21 07:28:51 · update #1
no, I'm easy going and very fair. If there is an issue I address it so its delt with and we move on. She on the other hand would like to pretend its not there, not deal with it and that leaves me unable to put it behind us.
2006-07-21 07:32:34 · update #2
WOW....This totally happened to me. My boyfriend always brought about situations that hurt our relationship. I always had an attitude (still do), always needed to be right and whenever there was something wrong I simply ignored it. One day my boyfriend came up to me and let me know that if I didnt change my ways he was headed for the door. Of course what did I do? I played it cool and said "there's the door". And he sure did keep his word. walked right out the door and didnt see him for a good month. Hmmm..needless to say I went out partied drank heavily and talked to different guys...nothing more. nothing less. Well, that got old really quick...I finally got to see myself and experience a sense of aloneness (if thats a word) and I noticed that if I continued my stubborn ways I would lose one of the most important things in my life! Not only that but I would hurt my career, social life and family. I mean who wants to be around someone who only sees it their way and not in all angles?? I know I wouldnt. I felt bad for myself... So here's a suggestion that will do both of you some good. It may not work...it's just some advice...everyone is different and has different reactions so keep that in mind.
First of all...A relationship is mutual. Both of you have issues that need to be sorted out. Sometimes it's hard to get through to each other because each of you intrepret situations in your own ways. I'm sure she can be quite a stubborn you know what but you know you shouldnt get so upset about it. That's her fault that she is like that. The only thing you can do is show her the way you'd like her to be. Could be the way she was raised. Also, do you nit pik at every little thing? And when you guys sit down to speak do both of you take part or do you guys battle to speak first? Communication and respect is key to a relationship. Iv'e said it before, it wont always be 50/50 Sometimes the other half has to put way more effort than the other. Sometimes its 80/20 60/40 or even 100 percent to zip. If you really want to work things out then you guys need to sit down and talk in a manner that she realizes this is it. If we dont straighten it out...it's over. See, I think that she has some kinda control over you and you let the situation get worse everytime. As soon as she sees your not messing around she can either do one of 2 things:
She can learn to work on her crappy attitude with you next to her guiding her carefully although your not a babysitter
OR
She could work on it alone without you beside her.
Plain n Simple.
WHY should you be with someone who is not willing to lower her guard just a little to realize that she is hurting this love you guys have? It's not fair to you and it definitely hurts her creditbility if you guys ever broker up and she wanted to get back with you. Honestly, if you truly love this person and see yourself with her later on, then work at it and show her your not kidding around. If not, well then......move on as harsh as that sounds. Do you know how many other chicks are willing to snag a good guy like you who is willing to talk about situations in relationships? Plentiful. trust me!
Your girlfriend needs to open her eyes and smell some alone time. I think it's the best way for her to see she that shes risking losing you It's also great for you because although it hurts to leave someone for something like that, it's best for YOU and your frustrations. You dont need anymore shyt in your life....enough of that kiddy b.s. Good luck with that....Take care!
2006-07-21 07:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by Cloe 4 · 12⤊ 3⤋
that is someone i does no longer have a courting with. Their snappiness and absence of take care of alternative peoples emotions is a deal breaker, no count number how positive they're after sex. only because he's lengthy gone through some stuff or you believe he's depressed isn't any reason to be disrespectful. the guy is mentally abusive. attempt counseling. If he received't or is unwilling to make any compromises then go away him. you could say you adore him all you go with yet I doubt you're deeply in love with someone who talks poorly to you, who's disrespectful and whom you won't be able to truly have a friendship with. that isn't any longer a courting. it is an insecure lady, hoping a guy will substitute and dropping her self truly worth. people substitute for the worst now and again and typically situations there changed into no genuine substitute, the indications only weren't noted interior the initiating. the guy mocks you and also you imagine that is love? Time to end the cycle the following and bypass on from this jerk.
2016-10-15 01:24:18 · answer #2 · answered by schwenck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck on that. My ex and I had the same issues... lack of communication. The main reason we broke up. If she really wants it to work, she needs to be willing to discuss the fun stuff as well as the crappy stuff. Everyone is different and opinons vary. What makes life interesting. Coming right to the point that respect is lacking in the relationship should give you a good idea if she is willing to make it work. If she won't discuss it, she's got her head stuck in the sand and at that point you have to ask yourself if that is the kind of person you want in a partner. Good luck. It isn't easy.
2006-07-21 07:17:53 · answer #3 · answered by minderaser00 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are hard. As a Christian woman I would just love to suggest that what about giving a change to a relationship with a man...but under this category...I do not know if you are originally man...and I know that this is also a problem with hetero sexual relationships...
Read the Bible. I find a lot of answers from there. It is not easy to follow advise from the Bible...but maybe, maybe you will find yours from there?Do what Jesus would do.
2006-07-21 07:19:31 · answer #4 · answered by SeeTheLight 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We need to talk because I am going through the same stuff as you are with my partner, only we are married and have lived together for 2 1/2 yrs.
2006-07-21 08:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you called her your girl. so you are apparently not married to her. good deal.. because it will never work out if you can't sit down and talk about issues. you didn't explain very much but if she isn't willing to talk then you really don't want to be with her anyway. she apparently isn't willing to change what is bothering you so find someone new.. And make sure you can both sit and talk.. don't be over sensitive.. everone has there own ideas but they really need to talk..
2006-07-21 07:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she must be butch?if shes trying to act like a guy(which she is because guys never deal with relationship issues)i'd say find a chick thats not tryin to be a dude.
2006-07-21 07:13:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack a bag and go away. She'll either realise tht there are things you two need to sort out, or she won't in which case you'll have saved a lot of time.
2006-07-21 07:18:03 · answer #8 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try showing her this question and answers that you've received...communication is vital to a relationship...if she's not going to talk..I can see major roadblocks ahead for you. But I am not a lesbian...I'm a gay male..but I think the same dynamics apply...good luck
2006-07-21 07:51:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her for a little while. I watched this happen to my sister. It was the first time in her life she took at look at herself.
2006-07-21 07:12:41 · answer #10 · answered by sleepwalkin smith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't sound like much of a partnership to me. Why do you stay with someone who doesn't respect your feelings?
2006-07-21 07:14:29 · answer #11 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋