I can understand masturbating when I am not home for days. I just don't know why he would do that, knowing that I love being with him sexually. We went to a family therapy and she told us that sounds like he has an addiction. He even admit that. it makes me worthless when he does that, I feel like I am not attractive to him anymore. I know he is not cheating because he work and comes home, he never go out with friends or anything like that.Please I need some advice, this is driving me crazy...
2006-07-21 07:06:48 · 66 answers · asked by Porsche 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Actually I LOVE SEX!. I had told him to join me in the shower and he just give me an excuse.like he is tired or later tonight we will make love. then later that night nothing. we haven't been intimate for almost 10 days. it is RIDICULOUS I had told him that I will leave his *** and be with someone who will give attention. He don't let me leave him he said that if I leave him he will destroy my life bla bla. The only way to leave him is taking my stuff out of the house when he is not home. Like I said I don't care if he masturbate but I AM HOME why he don't take advantage of me? I know he likes being with me but what I believe he has in an addiction.
2006-07-21 07:43:40 · update #1
I would be turned on and join him! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
2006-07-21 07:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by belizeigram 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I went through this with my first ex wife...the problem was all she ever wantexd to do was have sex. If she sat next to me and held my hand that meant she wanted to have sex...it got to be a chore. and I wanted to be the one doing the chasing once in a while. I actually wanted her to say "NO" once in a while to play hard to get. Not only that but when we did it she was disappointed if she had less than 5 or 6 orgasms. My suggestion is to ignore it, do not come on to him at all, hell go in the bedroom and masturbate then tell him "It's ok I do it to." You might even get a vibrator to make him a little "jealous" for lack of a better word. Also, make sure there is no resentment in the relationship. My ex did some hurtful things and I was too immature to know how to deal with it as the time and I could not get "in the mood" when I was filled with resentment at her...also she was really selfish in the bedroom that did not help. Counseling would be a good idea if he is game. If ya want to chat more IM me. Good Luck.
2006-07-21 09:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by haughtybloke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cant really give you a answer but i can try to offer you advise i to had the same problem with my exhusband and at first i felt very undisired after a while i lost interest in having sex with him because he wouldnt come to me when he needed it although we had sex often after a while he did start cheating i once asked him why he had to do that and why he couldnt just come to me his answer shocked me he said that he craved more excitement and when alone could emagine anything he wanted so i tried something new anfd i advise that you dont i gave him his fantasy of another woman and i and as i said he is now my exhusband when they have an addiction to sex it will never end unless they want it to and the more its fed the worse it shall get so hold your head up it has nothing to do with how attracted he is to you its just like drinking or drugs its an addiction and only if he wants to stop will it i hope this helps in some way
2006-07-21 07:19:02 · answer #3 · answered by monica j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that sounds so familiar. I was in the same situation with mu husband.It hurts and I was so angry we had a major blowout and separated for awhile. Once he was without me he finally made a decision that I was more important. I'm sure he still does it but not he used to. I have learned to forgive him and he has learned how much it hurt me. Don't let anyone tell you that this is "normal" and get use to it. Its not and it unfair to you. My relationship is great now. Just a little tidbit the Internet makes it very tempting for men so we had a password put on that only I know so he cannot get on when I'm gone. Its comforts me and takes away that temptation. Good Luck Sweetie it will get better
2006-07-21 07:16:31 · answer #4 · answered by sunnyday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lighten up. He's not addicted to masturbation and there's nothing wrong with him. Whether or not he jerks off is none of your business, quite frankly. You see, just like all women, you think everything a guy does somehow has to do with you. Don't flatter yourself. The average man has enough testosterone to launch the space shuttle. Leave your husband alone and don't make him see a therapist because you're hung up and you think his masturbation is an addiction. You need to seek therapy for your low self esteem.
2006-07-21 07:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by Orgzu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk about this.
First, he must address the problem. There could be some underlying anger and this is done not for pleasure but as a sense of power and control.
You need to have a little test. Every time he feels like masturbating, have sex. Take the time to guide him through genuine lovemaking (not just wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, kind of sex).
By addressing this together, you may be able to work on this behavior, but the key is he has to genuinely want to change.
If he bails on this, there is nothing that can be done.
2006-07-21 07:12:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have reason to think that you'd rather not do it with him?
Sometimes a guy will masturbate when he gets the feeling that his woman would rather not be bothered.
Are you staying attractive for him? Sorry if this sounds harsh, but if you've become a tub of lard and wonder why he prefers his hand over you, I would say stop wondering, and get yourself in shape.
I can't imagine choosing the hand over the real thing, but I can see how the 2 things I mentioned might affect him.
2006-07-21 07:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy I live with does the exact same thing! A couple of times a day! I usually just let him do it, I must admit, he does last longer when we have sex. Either help him or leave him alone, but don't end your marriage because of it. They guy I live with I was married to 10 years ago for 6 years. His sex drive is stronger now than it was when we were married. Enjoy it!!!
2006-07-21 07:20:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to join him...let him know that you want to be a part of that experience with him. I highly doubt that he finds you unattractive but there could many 100 reasons why he masturbates. One may be that even though you love to be with him sexually, u 2 may not be having sex as much as you may think, so he turns to masturbation.
The first step though, should be you getting involved and helping him out which may turn into a more sexually pleasing experience!
2006-07-21 07:12:19 · answer #9 · answered by USC Fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a dominant character and for this he feels to be a child not your hun. from my point of view to be dominant means a lot of things: u are severe with your life not necessary with him, u have mor succed in your life than him or u can enjoy life more than him. Or he has a rich imaginations and think that is a shame to share with u his fantasies. And in the end yes I agree that is some addiction. Talk with him and when he need someting like that, no matter how many times per day, do sex/love togetter.
2006-07-21 07:14:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't have anything to do with you. If he feels the need more than you then he's being polite by not jumping on you every time he feels the urge. Most men do that, and a lot of times they just don't feel like having sex, so they take care of it themselves. I suggest that you stay in counseling so that you can work on your self esteem issues, and leave your husband alone. He's ok, really.
2006-07-21 07:12:00 · answer #11 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋