What should I do with this guy?

Question

This guy is my best friend, we've known eachother for like 5 years now and I love him to death, I would love to date him, and see him as more than a friend, but I cant read him to find out what he wants! Today he told me he always loved me but I had a boyfriend at the time that we met, and it was "hard to ask me out, when I always had jealous boy up my @$$" (his words) ... If he has "always loved me" then why hasnt he asked me out, since I broke up with my ex three years ago? I've even had another boyfriend in between and all he did was crack jokes (like he was jealous) Since I'm now single again, and really can only see myself with him, I've tried to make time to go visit him multiple times, but he always tells me something that he has planned to do... Is it just bad luck on my part that he has stuff planned when I have time off.... or do I need to go about this a different way???

I just want everyone to know that everything that you said hit me in a different way... I told him today about a dream I had about my ex, and I could tell it upset him, but yet to told me I needed to go to who made me happy ... and I told him who really made me happy... I just don't know if he believes it or not, I think we have joked around as friends for so long that he doesn't know how serious I really am! We need that "move style" kiss, you nkow when the guy thinks the girl is just joking around until she kisses him... all I need now is my chance for that ... thank you to everyone for your comments!!! they really meant alot!!

Kristine
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Answer 1

I'm gonna tell you okay: people ALWAYS want what the can't have. He's usually more interested in you, when you have a boyfriend up the *#*&.

It's been 5 years, that a long time to be unsure. Try 30 years, that's my story. So I tell people to just put it out there. It is better to lay your cards on the table now, let him know how you feel about him and that you would rather date him than date someone new. Ask him how he feels about that. WHATEVER his answer is, accept it and do what makes sense.

If you don't say anything, trust me, it will last a lifetime. I was always too afraid to be direct with my friend, yet here we are, 30 years later and I still don't know why it hasn't worked. I do keep someone else and he's married so we would never cross the line. But our chemistry hasn't changed. Don't let this happen to you.

Be brave and go for it!

Answer 2

This is heart breaking! At the risk of sounding insensitive.....forget him. If every time you've made plans to see him and he says he has something planned he is, unfortunately, avoiding you. For what reason I do not know. But he obviously enjoys teasing you or 'acting' jealous when you're with another boyfriend. If you've got feelings for him and he is showing nothing back except what you've described then he is more than likely not interested. I had a female friend who used to do the same thing to me. All buddy, buddy, hint wink and nod but when asked directly after a few months she declined and wasn't very nice about it either. Save yourself the trouble. Now if you should get a call from him in a few weeks when he notices the attention has stopped, then proceed cautiously. You don't want the cycle to continue for it will only lead to more heartbreak. There is always a chance he could come around but the chances are slim.
Have a great day!

Answer 3

I think that if it was me, what I would do is get in touch him and let him know that you are available now and that you would like to see him. I would try this a couple of times when you know that he has time off or is going to be off. Even pick a time a week or so away from now. If he still makes excuses not to see you, then I would go on about my life. Then should he show back up, I would let him know that I gave him every chance to get with me and he always had some thing else to do.

The way I look at it is, if he is really interested in you, it should not take to much to get him to come your way. But if you can't get him to come your way that easy, then he is just not that interested in you, UNLESS he is just that shy knowing that you are single again now. So just ask him out and see what happens and then if it is a no go, get on with your life.

Answer 4

Good luck, I think you will work this out soon.
It seems like you're both interested and since you've known each other so long you don't need to worry that he doesn't like you coz he obviously does!
Just find the time to have a really good chat with him. Eventually, it should happen, especially since he's said that stuff to you about him always having loved you! If he doesn't have time for you then he's a nutcase heehee. Don't worry, sometimes people are really busy. You'll see pretty soon if it's genuine or not anyway.
I hope it works out = ) You lucky fish!

Answer 5

If someone really, really likes you--even loves you if only as a friend--and you made a special trip to see them, they would MAKE TIME FOR YOU. Maybe you and this guy have crossed signals, both of you not sure what the other person is thinking. You have nothing to lose by being direct with him. If he is not interested in you romantically, you can still be friends (I assume). But if you make your desires known, and get no response, he is letting you know in a passive way that he is not interested.

Answer 6

Guy friends are tricky....and are always giving off mixed signals. The one thing my experience thought me is that they always seem to want you when you're unavailable. When you are available its as if they don't realize you're a girl. In highscool I was best friends with two guys,and at one point or another, I had liked each of them, neither one wanted to risk our friendship by dating. Of course, the second I had a boyfriend, they were all mopey and possesive and touch feely, and telling me that I was better off not being with my boyfriend. Its the standard you don't know what you got until you gone. I guess the moral of the story is that I didn't end up marrying either one of them.

Just keep that in mind.

Answer 7

Time for him to put up or shut up. Does he want you or does he just want to flirt?

If he were straight, would he want you more? Never thought of that, did you? Has he been dating others during this time? If not, then he's probably just hiding behind his pining for you. It's easy to want something you can't have. Convenient too. That keeps you from having to want something else.

Depends just how good of friends you really are as to whether you can approach this or not.

On the other hand (she wore a glove) if he's just shy and a little backward about it, give him the old Cher *****-slap and tell him to snap out of it.

"Now kiss me you fool!!!"

Answer 8

tell him how u feel if he does not respond to ur feelings then u will have to move on. Guys r so unpredictable maybe he thinks u don't have feelings for him and can't really be around u feeling the way he does since he is maybe trying to get over u. so three words tell him, tell him, tell him,
tell him how u feel, if he doesn't still luv u then sorry,, but i hope u both can salvage the friendship

Answer 9

if you really like him now you have a chance to ask him out, i am surprise he waited that long for you to split up with your ex, so really he should be asking the same thing to you, your really lucky he dident move on he waited 2 years thats a long time for a male forget the past and move on, if you think you found your love of your life stop asking him about why he dident do this or that

Answer 10

Tell him what you feel, (and make sure he's in front of you so you can see his reaction). Then decide if he really loves you or not. That way, you can tell yourself that you let him know, you gave him the chance, that you've opened up your feelings to him. Whatever the outcome would be, at least you will never wonder with "what if's" and why you didn't tell him.