Lending mates money?

Question

Lent a `mate` £200. three months ago, still no payback. When do i start getting arsey????

Answer 1

The fastest way to lose a friend or in rare instances find out that he is a superior friend is to lend them money. It has been my experience that whether it be an intentional taking advantage of or just a carelss attitude, friends that borrow money are looking out for their own best interests and often have the attitude that if you lent it to them, it wasn't that big a deal anyway. as far as getting it bag- you can begin to ask and try to make arrangements but this changes the dynamic of the relationship and problems arise. It could be he just forgot and a gentle reminder will get it taken care of but in most instances it is a game of cat and mouse.

My rule of thumb now is if someone asks to borrow money I have two options, either I cannot afford it and I will not lend it out or I can afford it but it is not a loan- if I can afford it I will give them the money with no obligation - it is a gift- then if they pay me back, great more power to them, and if not, I never expected it back in the first place and nothing is lost. Never lend money if you cannot do without it and afford to give it as a gift. Decide in your head before lending that it is , at least in your mind a gift and once given you have let it go.

Anyway, for this particular situation, if you did not come to an agreement on payback terms before hand- it is a sticky situation, but three months is long enough for him to have paid you or at the very least, given a part of it back or made mention of it to let you know that he is working on payback. At this point oyu have a choice to either cut your losses, learn from it and don't loan money in the future and possibly salvage the friendship or take the risk of the loss of friendship and call him now and ask him when he intends on paying you back.

Answer 2

Rule of thumb is usually, to lose a good mate:
1) Lend him money
2) Become roommates
Whenever money is involved is rough. Now that you've done it, have you established any ground rules such as when to start making payment?
If not, tell him that as a good friend you think that it is time that he should start making payments, and that you need the money.
You don't want this issue to get in between you two and that you value this frienship, that's why you lent him the money to start with.
Don't nagg, nobody likes that.
If he says not yet, I don't have the money yet, blah, blah ..., offer how about write a promisory note stating: when he will start, how much per payment and when the last paymeny will be and date + you two sign it. This is to protect you both, ans especially something fr you to fall back to in case he reneges all together, it happens.
**If all fails: Is his friendship worth 200 to you?
Good Luck.

Answer 3

Did you set a timescale for payback when you lent the money? If not I think you may be waiting a long time...Unless you come right out and ask for the money back. I'd start doing that now...3 months is a long time to wait for your friend to make the move & pay you back! Good Luck!

Answer 4

try and sit with him and do some sort of payment plan like £50 every two weeks or something. if he is a really good mate and you have trusted him many times before, chances are he may be struggling to find the money. if he still ain't paying sh!t get arsey with him and if you lose him as a mate its his loss not yours. for all i know money brings out the ugliness in people. i can trust people with money to some extent but if they are asking for sky high amounts i would be very careful coz chances are they may never pay it back

Answer 5

I'm still waiting for the £50 I lent a mate in 1969. Are you reading this Don Morley?

Answer 6

Get arsey and dont feel guilty about it. If he starts playing the 'your a mate arnt you' line, just say 'well mates pay back as well'. If hes being a knob, you're gonna have to get serious.

Answer 7

Never lend money to friends and family and expect to get it back. Not saying you never will, but be prepared for it.

I assume you have asked him before now? Some people assume as you are not destitute, that you don't 'mind'. I would politely mention it, maybe dropping in you need it for car insurance at the end of next month.

Answer 8

Your mate did not hesitate to ask you for the money and you should not hesitate to ask for it back. Remind your mate that this was not a gift but a loan and at this rate your mate is proving they cannot keep their word about paying it back. You are not anyone's personal financer and never ever loan anyone money again.

Answer 9

The best way to keep a friend is not to loan them money. A real friend will understand when you say know. If you give money, do it with the understanding in you mind that you may not get it back. So only loan what you can do without.

Answer 10

If you live in the uk you could try www.moneyclaim.gov.uk. It will cost you £30 to file a claim but you claim it back off the other person. You can also claim back interest too. This is also a good way of getting none paying bidders to pay if you sell stuff on ebay.