Anyone married longer than 20 years...?

Question

What is the secret to keeping a marriage strong after all that time?

I have been with my wife for 11 years, married for 6.

Answer 1

I have studied this for years, though I myself have never been married. I have watched couple after couple, watching what they do and don't do. From what I've seen the biggest thing to remember is that first of all, you love your spouse, and that means to respect them as well. Second of all, two become one doesn't mean they all of the sudden are not themselves anymore. Respect that your spouse will still have wishes, will still have dreams, will still want to do things, with and without you. It isn't saying they don't love you, it's saying that they need other things too. Like other friends, other hobbies. This may only be one or two other friends, one or two other interests, but they should be allowed to have them. Respect means listening to your spouse as they talk to you, listening to what they really say, and how they are saying it. Respect means trying to help them, love them where they are at, sacrificing from time to time for them, and loving them no matter what, bad days, bad weeks, bad hair, bad breath, bad table manners. Some things matter, some things don't, pick your battles on what you can't live with or without. And always remember, your spouse isn't perfect, but the good news is neither are you, that is what makes you compatible. Also remember, you both chose to be happy. You can't force your wife to be happy, she can't force you to be either. Happiness can only come if you let it in yourself. Yes, your spouse can aid in your happiness, but it isn't their role to fill your happiness by themselves alone. Always tell the truth, no matter what. Don't keep secrets either. Talk about your days, show a real interest in the other. Try to do something at least once a week to make them feel special, and that they are loved. Say I love you every day, kiss when you leave each other and when you see each other again. I wish you well in your marriage, I see you've been married 6 years, congrats. :)

Answer 2

Almost 27 years together, and I am going to very truthful here. People say don't sweat the small stuff. BS-those little things often times become so big till they break up a solid marriage. Mine for example, I let little things go till, he thought I didn't care anymore. He started taking me for granted that I would always be there no matter what he did. He use to bring a Coke every morning, he washed the dishes a couple night, now I can't expect anything but mean words or a indifference that breaks my heart. Do those little things for each other! Say I love you! Give each a hug, and take each other out for a date night. Pampering each other-don't let it be one sided. Treasure one another. Talking is so important, Two years, we had the perfect marriage, we had only had 2 fights. I told him that was one thing wrong with us, we don't know how to fight...Don't take a good thing for granted, be thankful and grateful for each and everything, is something is different or they aren't acting normal, then ask then, don't put it off for a moment. Their troubles should be your troubles-just as you share each others' happy
times. Do make a mountain out of a mole hill! Before it's beyond your reach.....God bless.........

Answer 3

Some people stay married bc they aren't too motivated to divorce. Don't confuse a long marriage with happiness. Some people stay married bc of religious expectations also.

Every marriage has ups & downs. I'd say respectful communication and doing those little things count. Always be honest and remember, fighting means a winner & a loser. Try to mediate your problems to come up with a solution both can live with. Don't fight over the little stuff, life is too short.

Answer 4

properly, not twenty years, yet we've been mutually for thirteen, married for 9. If intercourse is significant to him or you, then this is significant to "you". "You" = him + you. i can allow you already know this. Any guy who's denied sexual interest from his spouse on a relentless foundation is going to eventualy the two cheat, bypass away you, or in simple terms in simple terms be depressing perpetually. Thumbs-down me all you like. that's a actuality. It is going any incorrect way too, regardless of if not as usually. Love and have faith and verbal exchange are extremely significant - are not getting me incorrect. yet each and every of the information interior the international won't exchange the reality that he needs some, and there quite is not any good reason he shouldn't get some. i'm going to wager you're able to do all forms of favors on your persons and kin. take a seat for an hour and watch television, locate time to bypass bypass on your mom, etc. yet to locate 40 5 minutes to make love on your husband? Nah, it is not significant. think of how valueless he feels that his spouse can not locate 40 5 min some cases a week for him to have a actual connection to his spouse, once you come across time for different issues for such distinctive different persons. think of roughly it.

Answer 5

I think there should be a law that prohibits a couple being married to each other for more than 10 years. After that, like in musical chairs, you're required to marry someone else. That way life is kept interesting and you meet more people.

Answer 6

As cliche as it sounds, be best friends. Your spouse should be the person you think of first when you want to do something. They should be the person you call in the middle of the day just to say hey. And most importantly, they should be the person you want to talk to when life hands you the greatest highs and the worst lows. Successful marriages are based on friendship, not love, sex, or passion. Many people have life-long friends. If you do, ask yourself what you have with them. You should be able to see the same qualities in your spouse.

Answer 7

I've been married for 26 years . My grandmother told me on my wedding day a few pointers. Never go to bed angry because you will just wake up that way. always take the time to listen to your spouse even if you are not interested in the subject. And most important always take the time to let them know they are loved and needed. It must work I'm still happily married.

Answer 8

my mom and dad was for 49 years, and ill be the first to tell you their marriage was far from perfect. you have to realize everyone makes mistakes and everyone makes bad choices. i think people get married these days and as soon as something unexpected happpens they just give up. marriage is a huge commitment and you have to work on it all the time.

Answer 9

21 years...in it at this point for the kids, not for much longer, and no I'd never consider doing it again or going thru another one.

Answer 10

goin on 24 years, mainly because of the kids,sometimes its good sometimes its not, and what they don't know don't hurt em and that works both ways