i used to love my bf... but after being with him for a year and now that we are so far away from each other (long disatnce relationship) it seems that i don't feel the same way anymore, we don't talk like before; it seems that we are always both bz with our each career... i wanna be free but i don't know how to break it to him...i don't want to hurt him but i'm not hapi anymore too! please help!....
2006-07-21 06:22:55 · 35 answers · asked by gray_snickers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
just brake up wit him
2006-07-21 06:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him on the phone. Tell him this:
i used to love you... but now that we are so far away from each other, it seems that i don't feel the same way anymore, we don't talk like before; it seems that we are always both bz with our each career... i wanna be free but i don't know how to break it to you...i don't want to hurt you but i'm not hapi anymore too! So let's end the bf/gf relationship and remain friends.
Then be quiet. He will probably agree with you, but if not, tell him you thought about it a lot and you just need to be free from the relationship.
Good Luck
2006-07-21 06:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The longer you put it off, the harder it gets so my advice is to do it sooner rather than later.
A lot of people say to just be honest. I say to be honest but not cruel. I don't believe when you need to break up with someone that you should stand there and give them a list of all of their faults.
You could tell him that you need to move on and that a long distance relationship just isn't working for you. That is an honest answer, without making it his fault or saying something cruel about him.
I can also tell you that for many years I avoided long-term relationships because it is important to me when I am in a relationship to have that person near me. For some people, long-term relationships work great - but I think it is not only understandable - but perfectly okay if you simply don't want to be in a long distance relationship.
good luck. It is not easy and chances are it will hurt but in the long run if you feel this way then it is the best decision for both of you.
2006-07-21 06:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by Tamborine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug. Breaking up is difficult whether it's done to you or you do it to them.
Once a woman just stopped returning my calls. It was very upsetting because there was no "closure." I felt (rightly or wrongly) that she owed me SOMETHING more than that (we had been together a couple of years - distance doomed us too). But I realized she didn't know how to do it properly. I guess I wouldn't have liked a "discussion" either - I knew something was up anyway and part of me is still relieved I didn't find out the details. But I still wouldn't advise that.
If you have made your mind up I would just say to him, listen I wish you well but I think we should go our separate ways (I have had to deliver this message once too). If he tries to ask why I would try not to blame him or go into detail, maybe just say what you said in your question about distance and work. But politely cut off any attempts by him to explain, offer to change, cause guilt, etc. Just say you're not in a place mentally to be with him and you're sorry but that's how it is. If he asks if there is someone else, I might just say it's not about that. If it gets ugly just say our time together has been great but please let's not spoil it and try to end on a nice note.
Again, if your mind is made up, that's a way to do it. Don't get emotional and let him bait you into an agrument about who is wrong. My guess is that he must know something is different already. Maybe it will be easier than you think. But be prepared. Be fair to him, but most of all to yourself. If you want him out of your life and he refuses to go, that's harrasment.
Again, there's no good way to do it. Listen to everyone and trust your instincts. You are the only one here who knows him. Good luck.
PS I changed some details in my answer because I am trying hard to give you the best advice I can think of. I think I got it now. :)
2006-07-21 06:38:00 · answer #4 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not happy, then you need to be honest. A long distance relationship is hard no matter what. You may need to come right out and tell him how you feel. Tell him you still care for him, but that you no longer feel like being in a committed relationship. If he loves you there is no way to completely keep from hurting him. But not telling him how you feel and trying to keep the relationship going, is going to be harder on you both in the long run. Good luck.
2006-07-21 06:31:03 · answer #5 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nothing new under the sun. Sometimes He is just not the one. Telling him the truth might hurt him (if he has an enormous love for you), but it's better to reveal what in reality you feel and think about the relationship than carry on living in illusions. With time, eventually he will recover and move on.
Good Luck
2006-07-21 06:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by BeBe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both outgrew each other, and are ready to move on. Does he seem to want to keep the relationship going? Has he been in touch with you more than you've been in touch with him? Call him and find out his feelings about your relationship. Talk to him about your feelings, and see where things stand. It just might be that he's feeling the same way. And who knows...he might already be moving on with his life, and not knowing how to let you know without hurting you. Better you find out now than later, by accident. <*)))><
2006-07-21 06:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by Sandylynn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to break up with someone and not cause them some bit of hurt. However, in the end it is best for you and them to just be honest and let them go. Just tell him sorry, but it is over and this isn't the relationship for you. Remember, your not responsible for how he takes this. If he gets mad, angry, destructive, what ever, it is his choice to do so. All your doing is being honest with him and that is all your responsible for.
2006-07-21 06:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know how you feel. Tell him that you love him, but only as a best friend. Tell him how hard it is to have a long distance relationship. Trust me you'll feel better and he might feel the same way. Good Luck
2006-07-21 06:27:18 · answer #9 · answered by TheHillsLover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plain and simple if your not happy tell him you can't do it anymore, keeping on just because you don't want to hurt someone is the biggest mistake that one can ever make.Because in the end someone or both always get hurt. And so much time is waisted.
2006-07-21 06:28:04 · answer #10 · answered by Lilmisssassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is faithful and trustworthy, I'm not sure why you want to get rid of him, but I suggest you just be honest with him. Tell him that you feel as though the two of you are growing apart. If this is what you truly want then he'll understand, but keep in mind, a good man is hard to find.
2006-07-21 06:26:04 · answer #11 · answered by lt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋